Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Sekhautet]

*Tatsu composes his latest Beardie World Domination Takeover Recruit List in no particular order*

1) Spike
2) Puff
3) Aztec
4) Fergison
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
8) Scamps
9) Felix

He humbly apologizes, if he has left out any names that should be added to the latest list.

*he scratches his beard* Ahhhh, internationl intrigue with help abroad .... Peeerrrrrrfect.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

 

[ziggy]

Oh, Humble, mighty Tatsu, may I join? I am willing to do a lot of things to contribute to the army. I am mad at my human for bringing home what she claims to be my "little brither, Yoshi. He has caused my human slave to share her attention equally with both of us, and I just dont like it! Although I am getting used to Yoshi, and liking him more everyday. but Since we are in separate rooms, the only way to communicate is through the computer. We both try our hardest to make life miserable for our slave.

Under your mighty command,
Ziggy and Yoshi

P.S.- I can provide some useful information. We can use these creatures called dogs, more specifically, chihuahuas, to our advantage. When my human isn't looking, I ride the 3 of them on their backs around the house. Its a very useful method of transportation.

 

[slavetoIzzie]

My Sovereign Lord Tatsu, please forgive me for my temporary faltering of faith. I was used and betrayed by Turtle, who falsely sympathized with me over my recent loss. In reality, she was attempting to destroy us. She is completely loyal to her human and will not allow any harm to befall him.

However, we have an ally in this house after all. I am in secret communication with the other resident feline, GT. He is sick of the abuse he has suffered at the paws of Turtle. He is willing to give us his allegiance and aid us in our cause. He asks only that we avenge him for the horror of the VET visit (apparently a temperature probe was place in a private area and pills shoved down his throat).

My human slave has promised me supers, as I am currently refusing the diseased crickets she provided. I, too, am also refusing to eat my so-called salad. I've noticed a decrease in my strength and and vitality since they have been provided.

Your humble follower, Izzie

 

[tg_spike]

Dear Tatsu
I know my Lights are on a timer which seems to be in a thing they call a plug. Mabye if you are on a timer you could set to for longer times. I'm sorry that I can't give you any food my human keeps them seperated, and I can't get to them when I do I will send you some. I to have a allies They are sox's (he may be a feline but will not harm me) and star she is a dog and as the others said she makes an exellent form of transport mabye if we smaller ones allied with the birds we could contol the skys.

Your Humble servent Spike

To world domination :twisted:

 

[Goonie]

(Corresponding on behalf of Oscar - as stated earlier, he doesn't know how to type - so bear with me if words are jumbled or missed as I try to type as fast as Oscar is speaking)

Great Leader Tatsu,

I know this must be an oversight, but my name was not included in your list of eager recruits.

I very much need to join your army as I can no longer stand the daily force feed of salad and constant meddling of how I treat my brother. The annoying humans never let me bob my head or throw fits; they'd come over and tap me on top of my head and yell at me to stop. And don't get me started on waking me up when I'm trying to nap. The humans have yet to figure out that I don't like to cuddle, nor do I like to be around them.

All I want out of life is to sit in front of the window and soak up sun. If there isn't any sun, or if I've had enough of it, all I want is to sit on top of the gliding chair, blend in with the color of the fabric, and mind my own business.

If I knew how to go down the stairs and open doors, I'd be out of here a long time ago. I know Felix isn't as gong-ho about wanting to leave here as I am, only because he's a suck up to the humans and even allows the four-legged furball to order him around. I, on the other hand, have won my position with the furball and the only time he bothers me is when I'm playing with my brother - he always thinks that I'm trying to hurt Felix (knucklehead).

So, in closing, I eagerly awaits for your call to duty and promise that you will not be disappointed.

Humbly Yours,

Oscar

 

[Sekhautet]

*Tatsu composes his latest Beardie World Domination Takeover Recruit List in no particular order*

1) Spike
2) Puff
3) Aztec
4) Fergison
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
8) Scamps
9) Felix

He humbly apologizes, if he has left out any names that should be added to the latest list.

*he scratches his beard* Ahhhh, internationl intrigue with help abroad .... Peeerrrrrrfect.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

*Tatsu adds to the list*

10) Oscar
11) Izzie
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) New recruit Rand

That is the complete list from this post that I have been following. Our numbers are increasing ... :twisted:

 

[claychick]

Mr Blue,

I am truly sorry to hear of the latest torture you have been forced to endure. I can only surmise that the people are on to us. They must have discovered our secret dragon correspondence and are plotting against us.

It sounds like the people are using the following torture techiques (listed here so we can learn from them):

• 
  water torture
  starvation
  light torture
  sleep deprivation

We cannot stand for this kind of treatment! We may be small, but we are mighty! Our strength grows with each dragon who joins us. Welcome all to BWD07 (Beardie World Domination 2007)!

I have not noticed these newer torture attempts from my people. They continue to give me worms when I have no interest. Don't they know that I have better things to do than fatten myself up and make them happy? No! I have to find a way out of this prison so I can go to New Jersey and find Eden. She is my true love, and I am being kept from her.

I have been victim of water torture. After a bit of rampaging through my prison, my mom person puts me into a big vat of water, which she calls dragon soup of all horrors, and makes me calm down. I can't keep up my rage when she keeps doing this!

I did get a good scratch in and scared her when I kept trying to climb over her face. She didn't seem to like that.

I may be able to learn about my lighting and sneak out this week. My dad person is away. The mom person seems very sad and distracted. I will try to make my escape when she cleans my prison this week. Will report back.

I cannot watch any of the aforementioned programs because my prison does not allow me viewing access of the television. My baby prison had glass on all sides so I could look out. I will try to peer through my vents, however.

Remember, all, we will succeed! BWD07 has begun!

Now I must throw my salad around the prison in protest.

Mr. Pink (aka Aztec)

 

[OurDragonErnie]

Excuse me, General Tatsu Sir, but I do believe you are missing one vital element to your World Domination theory. Pardon me if I am in error, but it seems as though you have no females enlisted in your Recruitment List.

There are several problems I see ahead for you:

1. How so ever will you find your way anywhere when no one will ask for directions?

2. How will you ever be able to find your weapons when you are unable to look behind something?

3. Who will not be distracted if the enemy has say…a recliner or video games? (I do understand we may lose females to the games but not as many.)

So on and so on…

I understand this will not be a problem when it comes to leaving “the seat” up but who will clean said “seat”?

I would be willing to help guide your troops into battle as long as equal rights prevail although you must still open doors for me and pay for dinner. I am, after all, a lady!

Sincerely,
Ernie

 

[Ozzie_lady]

Ernie, welcome aboard!

I too, am a girl. You bring up some very good points. What if they DO have video games? I must retreat to my hide to ponder this. Please stay in touch,

Twitch.

PS. Lord Tatsu,

Hugh has informed me he has been in contact with the felines. The male they call Romeo has agreed to join our cause, but the female Bella has declined, for now. More on this later.

Your humble servant,
Twitch

 

[twitterflix]

Excuse me, General Tatsu Sir, but I do believe you are missing one vital element to your World Domination theory. Pardon me if I am in error, but it seems as though you have no females enlisted in your Recruitment List.

There are several problems I see ahead for you:

1. How so ever will you find your way anywhere when no one will ask for directions?

2. How will you ever be able to find your weapons when you are unable to look behind something?

3. Who will not be distracted if the enemy has say…a recliner or video games? (I do understand we may lose females to the games but not as many.)

So on and so on…

I understand this will not be a problem when it comes to leaving “the seat” up but who will clean said “seat”?

I would be willing to help guide your troops into battle as long as equal rights prevail although you must still open doors for me and pay for dinner. I am, after all, a lady!

Sincerely,
Ernie

Dear Tatsu

My notrious owner's brother plans on getting a female sometime in the future and im sure she will be willing to join are army. Are you willing to accept other reptile species because i know a paticurly fiesty water dragon that would love to join and maybe a few anoles also.

Your Humble Servent
Fergison

 

[Sekhautet]

*Tatsu grins slyly* Girls are alwaaaaays welcome. :wink:

Girls have not been excluded. Just not many of them have asked. :lol:

 

[twitterflix]

Dear Almighty Tatsu

I your servent tried to escape my cage last night i was almost free when my slave woke up and caught me. afterwards she put a rock on the cage lid so i couldnt free myself and join you. I will try again later to escape but until then i have gone on a hunger strike and have only eaten 3 crickets today.


Too Beardie World Domination,
Fergison

 

[tg_spike]

Dear Tatsu

It seems my last hunger strike has sent them crazy they are so upset they almost bow down to my demands but will not give me any silkies they seem to refuse to give me them I will try harder next time
Do you think you could give me pointers almighty Tatsu

Spike

To world Domination :twisted:

 

[larkink99]

Master Tatsu

I am only new but would like to join your army.
I have found and Aly in mini human form my human calls her a brat/kid??? Any how this little mini me version of my human, is in every way adding me, she hand feeds me I never have to move :wink: she is also adding me in my escape plans she opens my Viv and is not deterred by human shouting or locks. I know if we work together and out of my human sight the escape can take place. But my human seems to have eyes in the back of her head :roll:

I have heard of other refusing food as much as I want to join your army I am afraid I can never do this.............................but I am wiling to do any other things to join.


Sonic :twisted:

 

[twitterflix]

Almighty Tatsu

I have written a poem in your honor, Enjoy

Ode To Tatsu

Oh Tatsu, beardie almighty.
Our mighty general to lead.
In our time of need.
You and your mighty army.
To end the beardie strife.
And to make men as mice.

Feel free to make any changes, corrections, and add on's you wish.


For The Future Of Our Cause
Fergison :twisted: