Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Tatsu

It seems my last hunger strike has sent them crazy they are so upset they almost bow down to my demands but will not give me any silkies they seem to refuse to give me them I will try harder next time
Do you think you could give me pointers almighty Tatsu

Spike

To world Domination :twisted:

Throw salad around like a whirling tornado. Then huff and puff and claw, if necessary. If truly necessary, pretend to have seizures. They will take you to the vet and then when they get home with you, feeling guilty, they will give you treats.

Fergison, thank you for the ode. I will post it on my fan page, as soon as it is done.

Sonic ... Adding you to the list. 8)

 

[tg_spike]

Dear Tatsu

Thanks for the ideas I will try the Clawing huffing and puffing, but I did the salad thing and they stopped giving me the veg I had and new ones which where horrible They will bow to us and you will rule the world almighty Tatsu

Your Loyal Servant spike

To world Domination :twisted:

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Tatsu

Thanks for the ideas I will try the Clawing huffing and puffing, but I did the salad thing and they stopped giving me the veg I had and new ones which where horrible They will bow to us and you will rule the world almighty Tatsu

Your Loyal Servant spike

To world Domination :twisted:

Tatsu writes: To my loyal cohorts ... Please be advised, my owner is going on vacation for six days starting tomorrow. I will have plenty of time to write up some plans and publish them before she finds out. I know she will be tired when she gets home, and there will be ample opportunity to get to a computer between now and when she gets back.

 

[twitterflix]

Almighty Tatsu

There is a imposter on the loose also named tatsu.

Sincerly
Fergison

 

[slavetoIzzie]

Lord Tatsu,

I have followed your advice and refused all salad for 3 days. I flung it all over and trampled it as well. :twisted: It worked!! I am now being served superworms AND butterworms.

My slave is so happy that I am eating again that she has not noticed I've begun to stockpile my worms in order to pay my bootcamp fee :twisted:

I have sent my covert agent, GT, out to recruit more felines as they will be a good form of transportation. If Regional Commander Twitch could contact me, we will be able to begin coordinating the Canadian Offensive.

Your humble follower, Izzie

 

[Sekhautet]

Almighty Tatsu

There is a imposter on the loose also named tatsu.

Sincerly
Fergison

Who is this imposter? This greatly concerns me.

Thank you for the continued communication team. More to follow ...

 

[tg_spike]

Dear almighty Tatsu
I have found a list of demands (changed them to fit are cause if you want to change them. Hope you like them
Your loyal servant Spike
To world domination :twisted:


I will not complain "My arm is tired" after only Feeding 50 supers

I will not confuse my beardie by Putting food in protective boxes

I will not drag my beardie away from Females/Males .

I will not stare while my Beardies is doing his/her business.

I will not feed Myself before I feed my Beardie

I will set up the kiddie pool every day it's hot - even in December.

I will allow my Beardie on the couch.

I will not cut myBeardie's nails.

I will not abandon my beardie for trivial reasons like "going to work".

I will not wake my Beardie when I come home from work. .

I will not laugh at my beardie for being confused

I will not run out of waxworms.

I will always carry supers and waxwroms.

I will not make my beardie wear silly-looking antlers or red hats.

I will not make my beardie pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.

I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my beardie.

I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my beardie.

I will try much harder to understand my beardie's language.

Here is where I found it.
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[tg_spike]

Dear almighty Tatsu
I have found a list of demands (changed them to fit are cause if you want to change them. Hope you like them
Your loyal servant Spike
To world domination :twisted:


I will not complain "My arm is tired" after only Feeding 50 supers

I will not confuse my beardie by Putting food in protective boxes

I will not drag my beardie away from Females/Males .

I will drop whatever I'm doing and take my Beardie out as soon as We Them.

I will not stare while my Beardies is doing his/her business.

I will not feed Myself before I feed my Beardie

I will set up the kiddie pool every day it's hot - even in December.

I will allow my Beardie on the couch.

I will not cut myBeardie's nails.

I will not abandon my beardie for trivial reasons like "going to work".

I will not wake my Beardie when I come home from work. .

I will not laugh at my beardie for being confused

I will not run out of waxworms.

I will always carry supers and waxwroms.

I will not make my beardie wear silly-looking antlers or red hats.

I will not make my beardie pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.

I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my beardie.

I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my beardie.

I will try much harder to understand my beardie's language.

Here is where I found it.
[ Invalid URL Removed / p= t=44847 f= ]

 

[larkink99]

Many Thanks Master Tatsu for adding me to the list.
I am very honoured and as you can see ( in pic) I am in training, learning to march on two feet to defeat the humans ( I figure if the stuped humans can do it us Beardies can defenitly do it BETTER :wink: )

Yours Faithfully
SONIC :twisted:

 

[tg_spike]

Dear Tatsu sorry for the double post

 

[mike's_dad]

My minions,

It seems that we are progressing well. While mom has been gone on vacation so far, I have managed to catch a ton of CSI reruns and devise an escape route from my tank to the computer in under four minutes time. I advise you to do the same.

As for the list of demands ... That is all well and good, but I think we should be thinking beyond our stomachs to total freedom. Total freedom= We go where we want, when we want for those who don't understand me.

Today I want all of you to attempt to find the shortest escape route from your cage. We will go from there afterwards.

*sighs* I realize I posted this under my step dad's name. But understand please, that I am trying to throw off my mother. So I have highjacked his name while she is still out of town. Pretty sneaky.

 

[twitterflix]

Dear Almighty Tatsu,

I bit my person yesterday when she tried to put me in a bath serves her right. :twisted: Well anyways the beginning steps for word domination i believe should start soon. please instruct me further on my part in the grard picture.

To World Domination: Fergison

 

[Sekhautet]

Note to Tatsu's Loyal Followers:

Begin to devise plans for escaping from your prisons and getting to the nearest credit card available.

More info to follow, but mom is coming back. YIKES!

 

[tg_spike]

Dear Tastu

they let the feline out so he has agreed at your call for me to sneak off with him if I slip out at night, find there wallet take the credit card then slip back in, at the morning get on his back of him and run off.
what do you think I will back fresh waxes and supers fot you
See you when I can get a boat to America.
Your loyal servant Spike
To world domination :twisted:

 

[twitterflix]

Almighty Tatsu

my human doesnt have a credit card so i must hack into their bank account to get the cash. Then have it transfered into an offshore account maybe in austrailia or someplace like that. I am still divising a plan to get out of my prison I was thinking somewhere along the lines of climbing up my humans arm and then jumping down and hideing under the bed and stay there until my human stops looking for me then i will slide out and under the heating vent where i can live until you call.


Your Humble Servent: Fergison