Instead of trying to pick her up by her sides, or touching her tail. Try sliding your hand up under her belly. That way it doesn't look like a giant mouth coming to grab her. Also, when you get to the point you can pick her up like that. Place her on your chest and pet her with your whole hand. That way she will get use to your hands being above her. Feed her butter squash by hand also. Cut it into little cubes and will wiggle it on your finger. When she eats from your hand she will also start to realize it's a good thing. They're not like mammals. They don't trust easily, but when they do learn to trust you, that are a blast and a half.