Truly Reaching Out For Help...

[pyffersnpaws]

I got on here this morning after not being here for a bit, one of the first things I did was to check your thread, Leo has become such an important little guy to me. I am sitting here for the last half hour just having tears of sorrow for you, I do know you did everything you could possibly do for him and he knew it. You are in my thoughts, and more importantly so is Leo.

Lisa

 

[nordica]

I feel so blessed by all of the kindness and empathy that I have found on this site. Nowhere else, not even in my own home, have I found the level of support that you all have given me. It has been amazing, and I have cherished every bit of it.

I am still trying to wade through the sheer mass of grief at losing my goofy Leo. It's slow-going; his last precious minutes keep flashing before my eyes, and as they weren't pretty, it's making it difficult. I've instead been trying to focus on all of the good times, and silly memories that my Leo blessed me with during the short year and a half that I had with him. There really are a lot of them. I have a few videos of him saved on my phone, and I wanted to share one of them. It's from before Leo became ill, during the Summer of 2011, when his favorite thing to do in the backyard was play in the patio puddle that always formed after the sprinklers had been running. He was always so funny; no matter how hydrated he was, he LOVED to drink from that puddle. I have no idea why. He also loved to drag his body along the wet cement, as if he enjoyed the sensation. He was such a character:

http://youtu.be/qG9xccUdQP8

I've been also trying to spend extra time with my other two beardies, especially Spaz. She's always been very protective of and connected to me, and the very minute that I had made the decision to put Leo down, she had sensed something was wrong. Her energy was off, and she stayed practically black all over for the days leading up to Leo's passing, as well as for a few days after. Normally, when I would bring her out for cuddle time, she would humor me for a few minutes, and then scramble away so that she could happily free roam from room to room. For the majority of the past week, however, she's stayed by my side any time I've brought her out, clinging to me, and burrowing into me as close as she can. Even Helen has been allowing me to snuggle her for extended periods of time. I swear, anyone who thinks that beardies don't crave, and return, love and affection and support are off their rocker. :love5:

I'm still waiting to hear back from the Vets, not only letting me know that I can pick up Leo's ashes, but also telling me of any results found from the necropsy. I was told though that it might be two weeks, so I'm simply patiently waiting. I'm in the middle of having almost three weeks off, what with my pre-scheduled vacation (I always take time off around my birthday), something for which I am very grateful; it could not have come at a better time.

Anyway, I just wanted to send out my thanks and love for everyone here; you all have been such a treasure.

 

[Irwinshealth]

Thanks for sharing, the video was so cute!!! May Leo have plenty of puddles where he is now Glad to hear your spending time to bond with your other two!!!

 

[mistygirl]

That is a very cute video. What a character he was. May he be forever splashing around free of any worries and sickness. Take time to relax and snuggle up with your other two babies. I agree beardies are in tune with the ones they love and sense that you need some extra snuggly time. I continue to send prayers and hugs your way.

 

[dragonlover3]

Thank you for sharing Leo with us.
I agree our beardies are in tune with
us and can sense our emotions. It 's
wonderful your other 2 are snuggling
with you more than usual ....they
know!
I'm thinking of you and sending hugs!
Amanda

 

[ShannyBeard]

I still remember the video of him and the mirror. I'm pretty sure that was Leo, anyhow! He seemed like a really great dragon, the kind of great that we all hope ours little ones will grow to be.

 

[nordica]

I stopped by the Vets the other day, as I was dropping off a fecal sample from Spaz (I had to drop off Helen's a day later, as she wasn't "cooperative" enough to give me one at the same time that Spaz did) to have checked, and while I was there I asked when I might expect Leo's remains to be returned to me. I was told that they are scheduled for pick up on the 9th. I'm glad that I have that day off, as I'm anxious to get him "returned" to me.

I brought Spaz in today to get her first round of Panacur, as she has pinworms now. I kind of assumed it, as she has just been... off. I should get the results from Helen's fecal exam today, and I'm expecting her to have some kind of parasite as well, for the same reason. I have to admit, I'm at a slightly elevated anxiety level about it, as I'm so paranoid about another one getting sick, especially so soon after Leo's passing.

I finally took the financial plunge, and ordered my own microscope and fecal testing supplies (all from beautifuldragons.com... BLESS THAT SITE!!), so as to be able to perform my own fecal floats at home. I even talked to one of my Vets, Dr. Forney, about it, and he said that he'd be more than happy to sit down with me at some point and go over the more common parasites I'll be looking for. I've also ordered two reptile parasitology books, one seems rather simplified and introductory, while the other more resembles a text book. When I told my Fiance about my purchases, he just kinda rolled his eyes, and jokingly said that I was weird. :roll:

I have never been more excited to play with poop...

... I'm also fairly certain that my Fiance will never touch me again. :laughhard:

 

[Menolly07]

I can totally get the poopcitement. It would be ideal to have some level of control and knowledge over all my fur and scale babies health related items. I do try and educate myself. I know, when Odahviing was sprung on us as a Christmas surprise, I downloaded a book on beardies immediately and read so many online articles. I submerged myself into pogono vitticeps and learned as much as I could. I'd imagine that learning about microparasitology will give you tremendous peace of mind. Anything to try and keep Helen and Spaz safe and healthy, right?

 

[Esther19]

I have a definite case of microscope envy. Glad you were able to get your set-up!

 

[mistygirl]

Your scaly friends are so lucky to have you. That just sounds so cool. After all you have been through, you could probably be a better reptile vet than some of the vets out there! I know you were very lucky to have compassionate, caring and knowledgeable vets. We are all not as fortunate. Mostly everyone I know have to travel to get to a vet that really is a true reptile vet.

 

[Drache613]

Hello Megan,

I completely understand the connection of dragons. Most people will never understand the bond created with them & those who deny that there could be any such thing, have no knowledge of what is possible.
I believe they can touch your soul so deeply that it will change your entire being.
Leo was very lucky & you will see him again. I hope you are doing well & remembering the better times with him.

XO,
Tracie

 

[AtlasStrike]

Nordica,

That is such a wonderful video of Leo. He was and always will be an unbelievably special dragon. Any beardie would be blessed to be loved even a fraction of the amount that you love him. What you did for him, everything you did for him went above and beyond any expectation and I am sure he knew it. As sad and painful and unfair as it is, Leo had everything he possibly could have wanted out of his life with you, and you both inspired so much love and admiration from others in the bearded dragon community that he will never be forgotten. ((Hugs))

 

[OichiChan]

Hi Nordica,

I just joined the forums because of my own beardies little troubles, my little Taiga (even if she isn't so much little anymore). I read your story and I know exactly what you're going through, I lost three of my leopard geckos to unknown illness. What was worse was my male Rex, passed away while I was on a trip to New York, as he had gotten better but suddenly took a plunge just before I could get home in time.

You really did everything you could and I know you're probably wondering what else could I have done and could there have been more? I know I do that a lot, I'm doing it now with my Taiga. And I know how the bfs (or significant other) can be when they don't understand the kind of connection we have with our family members. They're like our babies and we worry for them, we want them to have happy and long lives (and in a sense) never die.

I really hope you're feeling better and I hope that you know your story has made a lot of people (and myself) who've read it have their eyes opened and of had this as a learning experience for their own beardies. Mine included. I hope you get your Leo back soon and I hope you get those results.

~Oichi

 

[nordica]

I picked up Leo's remains yesterday, and brought my big boy back home, where he belongs.

I feel so much better having him back with me. I got the call that he was ready to be picked up, and was surprised by my immediate reaction to the words. I was saddened, relived, anxious, nervous... and of course, the tears started to brim. When I actually picked him up and brought him back to my truck though, I just sat there and cried cried cried. Everything was brought to the foreground again.

And then I read the card that was included. This is what it reads:


"Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together."


I just sob every time I read it (and I've read it repeatedly), because it's simply so beautiful. It was a very much appreciated addition.

The remains box is beautiful as well. I'm very happy with what Leo was returned in. It now sits on a special table of mine, with his little blue stuffie looking over him:

 

[kcarello]

That is just absolutley beautiful!! Glad you have your Leo back. It is a beautiful box. Hopefully you can think of all the wonderful times with him and smile.