Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Sekhautet]

I think I shall take Saphira instead of Xena.... Hmmmmmm...... SHOW ME WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, SAPHIRA!

Ahem! It is not chivalrous to just claim a lady dragon. You must win her honor ...

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Hey tatsu,
Saphira here. I just came to say I am ready to be placed into active duty. I have been gone since my comrad Boog died in action. Bit I think I am ready to fight in his honor.

Noted Saphira. I am sorry for your loss. Boog was a good member.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. I held a moment of respect for our fallen comrade.

 

[Sekhautet]

Tatsu,
My services will be limited for the next few weeks. I'm afraid pinworms and brumation have hit me hard. I'm sending my 2 tubs of butterworms over to headquarters as I'm in no mood to eat.

Duke

Duke,

Are you fully recovered? I cannot afford to lose my oldest army members. This is very distressing!

If you are not, at least you can peruse the summer reading list while you rest up. It will be posted shortly, after I finish answering my mail.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Is this who they all talk about? The Great and Most Almighty Tatsu? This is Quasi, sir. The new one on the "boards", as the humans call it. They're most brilliant idea so far has been Dubia, as they call it. I call it yummy-yumz. I would not be much of a fighter, but when I get bigger... Oh, they'll see. Everybody underestimates me. They think that have been tamed in 3 days, but that is not so. Uh-oh, my hologram is failing. Over and out.

Are you bigger, yet? I need all the help I can get!

 

[Sekhautet]

I hope your slave feels better.

My slave also got in a wreck this January. I feel no remorse. :twisted:
She did hurt her neck, but unfortunately, not badly enough to impair her from doing anything normally.
My escape plan was foiled. :evil:

My slave is still recovering. I have found that the drugs her doctor prescribed has made her more pliable and malleable for our plans. And also, less attentive, as she has not noticed I have been on the forum here for about half an hour this morning.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Hello Tatsu Sir!

Ms. Tiggs here to let you know our slave added 2 more to our squad. :mrgreen:

We here in the fresnowitte farmhouse are hoping your slave is feeling better now we have missed you. Don't you just hate when they hang out with their noses up....a...a...a...anyway...a...watching us like hawks. Sheez!

Welome Back Sir!

By all means, please give me their names so I can add them to the roster!

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Tatsu sir,

We have 4 beardies here who would like to become members of your army. My name is Lonzo and I am the general of these troops. They are all in good physical shape, 1 female Sweetie and 3 males, myself, Rubio & Leo. Rubio is big and strong and so am I, even though I am 7 yrs old. I am also the security of this household (the slaves are starting to realize who's really in charge here.) Food supply is good here, but always have extra if you need some more rations. Glad to hear your slave is doing much better. Military life is better when our slaves work hard.
So please add us to your list of recruits, we're in Canada so can reach more beardies up here. Getting across the border might be an issue, but we can work on that when the time comes.
WORLD DOMINATION 2010. Sounds wonderful sir,

Lonzo

Adding you all to the most recent roster list posted today! Thank you for applying. I see you have a few fallen troop members. How sad ... My condolences.

I too am 7 years old ... what a coincidence. Usually, I don't get to meet other dragons my age.

Welcome aboard!

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. I will be 8 this coming February.

 

[Sekhautet]

Tatsu and army:

Duke reporting here. Tatsu, I feel 2010 is the year we will finally take over! Perhaps we should organize another raid? The attack on UK pet stores was a great success. Anyone have any ideas on what countries/continents to do next? We could have region leaders for the US and leaders for other countries like Canada, Australia, etc. For places to raid, I was thinking along the lines of South America, or a large area like that. Some place that would have a lot of beardies in need of our help! Sorry if I'm being ambitious. But it's time for the army to take action once again! I gotta go, I can hear the butterworm jar rattling. Stay strong troops! If you have ideas or want to be a region leader, please post! (I can do midwest states again).

Duke 105

Dear Duke,

It looks from your most recent post that you have built up your strength again. I am glad.

I am posting a summer reading list, required reading. We will also be trying this South America mission again, after the required reading, of course!

Happy Summer,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Troops,

Here is the much anticiapted reading list for summer to improve your knowledge and increase productive training strategy. This is required reading for all members:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/War/DK-Publishing/e/9780756655723/?itm=1&USRI=war+strategy

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Art-of-War/Sun-Tzu/e/9781411431751/?itm=2&USRI=war+strategy

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Accidental-Guerrilla/David-Kilcullen/e/9780195368345/?itm=6&USRI=war+strategy

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-33-Strategies-of-War/Robert-F-Greene/e/9780143112785/?itm=10&USRI=war+strategy

Enjoy,

Tatsu

 

[fresnowitte]

By all means, please give me their names so I can add them to the roster!

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Ms. Tiggs reporting Tatsu Sir here with the names to our new recruits.
Flame
Roux
However Bender(#202) has been reassigned to the home of another member of the slaves family...Hoping he can get to their computer soon to update us on what he has discovered in this new area.

Human is done bathing Roux and headed this way....will report back....
***scurries off to window sill like I've been there the entire time***

 

[slavetoIzzie]

General Tatsu, Sir!

Herr Major Von Putz reporting the latest news.

The spring was very difficult, my brumation seemed never ending. Finally, the slave realized that my UVB light needed to be replaced and I am once more feeling young and alive. However, the slave seems to also becoming more active and I am finding it harder to evade her attempts to befriend me. At least she is smart enough to bribe me with yummy worms. (I have gone off crickets since the unfortunate episode with the poison grasshoppers last year)

I stand ready for orders and am prepared to lay down the lives of my slaves in our glorious quest for freedom. World Domination 2010!
Your faithful soldier, Major Von Putz (Putzy)

 

[Sekhautet]

By all means, please give me their names so I can add them to the roster!

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Ms. Tiggs reporting Tatsu Sir here with the names to our new recruits.
Flame
Roux
However Bender(#202) has been reassigned to the home of another member of the slaves family...Hoping he can get to their computer soon to update us on what he has discovered in this new area.

Human is done bathing Roux and headed this way....will report back....
***scurries off to window sill like I've been there the entire time***

Will add the new recruits to our list above to same room.

Thanks,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Tatsu Sir!

We wish nothing more than to become part of your army for world domination. We hope that you take notice of our request soon! We can't wait to be enlisted!

Thank you again, Sir!!
Ruki & Lotan

Dear Ruki and Lotan,

I am adding you to the recruit list below. Welcome aboard!

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Electrical specialist & Beardie Angel Fallen in Service)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake (Blueberry Devil)
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick who has faithfully passed over The Rainbow Bridge in courageous duty)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs/Force Recon:Spotter/Scout)
107) Dante
108) Randal (Beardie Angel fallen in combat)
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda (Heavy Support)
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie (Escape Artist: The Dragon Of Stealth)
134) Tango
135) Taser
136) Mike: Force Recon/Close Quarters Combat Specialist
137) Kudra: Force Recon/ Advanced Sniper Tactics
138) Scarlet (Stealthy Ninja Specialist)
139) Fudge
140) Storm
141) Neato
142) Keirra (Blue Devil's Queen)
143) Falcor (Spy)
144) Rocky (Watchman)
145) Elvis
146) Inanna
147) Buddy the dog (Spy)
148) Bently the Turtle (Computer Expert)
149) Bite (the cat)
150) Morris
151) Mojo
152) Sahara
153) Hunter
154) Spike (stealth and sniping specialist)
155) Sherbert (The master double-crosser)
156) Ish
157) Jake
158) Jazzy
159) Loiosh
160) Thorn
161) Xerces
162) Busy Izzy
163) Malibu (Master of Mayhem)
164) Sandy (Advanced Nuclear Tactics Captain)
165) Daffy
166) Chester
167) Gryphon
168) Spyro (Resident Angel and Protector of Beardies & Owners)
169) Jasper
170) Boog (Passed over The Rainbow Bridge - Resident Angel and Protector of Beardies)
171) Puph
172) Yoshi
173) Petrie
174) Sinclair (Master of the Flying Squirrel Dive Bomb)
175) Eingana Draigon
176) Tatty
177) Bob
178) Popcorn
179) Cheeto (Native Medicine Man....err Dragon Healer)
180) Loki
181) Percilla (Queen of the desert)
182) Cowboy
183) Joel
184) Gordie
185) Digger
186) Barnabus
187) Fireball
188) Quincy
189) Frankie (The Rhino Iguana)
190) Galileo
191) Thoth
192) Sydney Clay
193) Yoshi
194) Bronte
195) Oliver
196) Saphira
197) Lindy
198) Fred the gecko
199) Itty Bitty (escape artist/ surviving prisoner of war)
200) Private Blaze (also in training to be escape artist and special tactics)
201) Zak-n-Wheezie (special officers/diversion specialists)
202) Baby Bender
203) Ms. Tiggs (clerical- communications expert)
204) Checker’s (special tactics/diversion specialist)
205) RD - Mess Hall Supervisor
206) Ms. Piggy
207) Buttercup
208) Boris
209) Burt
210) Liza
211) Cooper
212) Kuleana
213) T'sam
214) Zinger
215) Ruben
215) Oliver J. Tolliver
216) Ricco
217) Eragon
218) Sunny
219) Taz
220) Master Reginald (a.k.a. Reggie) - Passed over The Rainbow Bridge (Resident Angel and Protector of Beardies)
221) Nero
222) Lucy
223) General Tso
224) Hermes
225) Budo (Head of Operation Mulberry)
226) Jumoke (MoMo)
227) Secret Agent Thor - First Division Covert-op
228) Gem
229) Kazul
230) Herr Huffmeister Grumpalot von Putz
231) Pickle
232) Ruki
233) Lotan
234) Spike
235) Psycho
236) Crash
237) Xena
238) Saphira
239) Lonzo
240) Sweetie
241) Rubio
242) Leo
243) Flame
244) Roux
245) Shadow
246) Drayco
247) Gobi
248) Amigo
249) Natsu
250) Ziggy
251) Psycho
252) Quasi
253) Sobek
254) Selket
255) Ruki
256) Putzy
257) Cadmus
258) Ollie
259) Grim
260) Sly
261) Brookes
262) Jordyn
263) Blaine
264) Scratch
265) Natasha
266) Reese
267) Dominique
268) Mini Me
269) Jynx

 

[haleygirl272]

Number 214; Zinger reporting!

General Tatsu, I am back from my long break and am again ready for active and intensive training.

-Zinger.

 

[BigD16]

Hi Tatsu,

My name is Shadow. My dad just recently added a new beardie to the family, Her name is Drayco. Anyways, Im not really mad at my Dad, I would just like to rule the world.

What do you say? Need 2 more recruits??