Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[fresnowitte]

Hello Tatsu Sir!

Ms. Tiggs here to let you know our slave added 2 more to our squad. :mrgreen:

We here in the fresnowitte farmhouse are hoping your slave is feeling better now we have missed you. Don't you just hate when they hang out with their noses up....a...a...a...anyway...a...watching us like hawks. Sheez!

Welome Back Sir!

 

[Sekhautet]

Thank you for the well-wishes troops. I have a lot of replies to get to this week. Hopefully, there will be something good in my food bowl to give me the energy I need to continue writing.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. The human slaves have been kind of stingy with the good stuff at my house lately. Thinking of mutiny again. Grrr ...

 

[MALIBUSMOM]

Dear Tatsu...Sir,
Hope your slave is better soon.....I have been busy trying to escape since the white stuff is all off
the lawn and the playground.
Plenty of supers and crickets here if your in need as i have staged another hunger strike in effort to bring more troops into my viv.
Write more when u can.
Sincerely Malibu AKA "Master of Mayhem"

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Troops,

I have been reflecting in private as I have been nursing my slave back to health to further aid in my diabolical plans for beardies everywhere to rule the world -- World Domination 2010!

I will be compiling a short summer reading list of books I think will help us with our training and strategy and replying to all new recruit posts in the next few days.

Thank you,

Stay strong with the beardie cause,

Tatsu

 

[sweetiepie9]

Tatsu sir,

We have 4 beardies here who would like to become members of your army. My name is Lonzo and I am the general of these troops. They are all in good physical shape, 1 female Sweetie and 3 males, myself, Rubio & Leo. Rubio is big and strong and so am I, even though I am 7 yrs old. I am also the security of this household (the slaves are starting to realize who's really in charge here.) Food supply is good here, but always have extra if you need some more rations. Glad to hear your slave is doing much better. Military life is better when our slaves work hard.
So please add us to your list of recruits, we're in Canada so can reach more beardies up here. Getting across the border might be an issue, but we can work on that when the time comes.
WORLD DOMINATION 2010. Sounds wonderful sir,

Lonzo

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Troops,

I am still busily putting together our summer reading list. I have had limited access to the internet, as I have not been able to procure the human's credit card for another computer. The one she never uses, which I use, finally seems to have died, and I cannot pry her laptop from her to write very long right now.

Stay strong and hopefully, in the next day or two I will have everything ready to post and can return to my letters, which I realize I am very far behind in answering.

Thank you for your patience,

Tatsu

 

[duke11]

Tatsu and army:

Duke reporting here. Tatsu, I feel 2010 is the year we will finally take over! Perhaps we should organize another raid? The attack on UK pet stores was a great success. Anyone have any ideas on what countries/continents to do next? We could have region leaders for the US and leaders for other countries like Canada, Australia, etc. For places to raid, I was thinking along the lines of South America, or a large area like that. Some place that would have a lot of beardies in need of our help! Sorry if I'm being ambitious. But it's time for the army to take action once again! I gotta go, I can hear the butterworm jar rattling. Stay strong troops! If you have ideas or want to be a region leader, please post! (I can do midwest states again).

Duke 105

 

[Sekhautet]

tatsu it seems i have been tricked by the humans. the lab i had been promised by the human child is not as i expected. rather then things i can use for my mind control formula its some sort of smelly whiny drooling mongrel who is rather good at anyoying the humans and destroying their things

How sad ... any progress on this project?

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

*shoving and jostling noises*
. I hope this feedback is... educational. My one request - how can I elevate this singularly plebeian colleague to a similarly intellectual level as mine? [/i] Oi, who you callin' THICK?

Hello Troops,

I too have a much slower-witted adopted brother at home. You just have to be patient with them. If nothing else, they are good at stocking up on food for you.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Tatsu Sir!

We wish nothing more than to become part of your army for world domination. We hope that you take notice of our request soon! We can't wait to be enlisted!

Thank you again, Sir!!
Ruki & Lotan

Dear Ruki and Lotan,

I am adding you to the recruit list below. Welcome aboard!

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Electrical specialist & Beardie Angel Fallen in Service)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake (Blueberry Devil)
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick who has faithfully passed over The Rainbow Bridge in courageous duty)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs/Force Recon:Spotter/Scout)
107) Dante
108) Randal (Beardie Angel fallen in combat)
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda (Heavy Support)
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie (Escape Artist: The Dragon Of Stealth)
134) Tango
135) Taser
136) Mike: Force Recon/Close Quarters Combat Specialist
137) Kudra: Force Recon/ Advanced Sniper Tactics
138) Scarlet (Stealthy Ninja Specialist)
139) Fudge
140) Storm
141) Neato
142) Keirra (Blue Devil's Queen)
143) Falcor (Spy)
144) Rocky (Watchman)
145) Elvis
146) Inanna
147) Buddy the dog (Spy)
148) Bently the Turtle (Computer Expert)
149) Bite (the cat)
150) Morris
151) Mojo
152) Sahara
153) Hunter
154) Spike (stealth and sniping specialist)
155) Sherbert (The master double-crosser)
156) Ish
157) Jake
158) Jazzy
159) Loiosh
160) Thorn
161) Xerces
162) Busy Izzy
163) Malibu (Master of Mayhem)
164) Sandy (Advanced Nuclear Tactics Captain)
165) Daffy
166) Chester
167) Gryphon
168) Spyro (Resident Angel and Protector of Beardies & Owners)
169) Jasper
170) Boog (Passed over The Rainbow Bridge - Resident Angel and Protector of Beardies)
171) Puph
172) Yoshi
173) Petrie
174) Sinclair (Master of the Flying Squirrel Dive Bomb)
175) Eingana Draigon
176) Tatty
177) Bob
178) Popcorn
179) Cheeto (Native Medicine Man....err Dragon Healer)
180) Loki
181) Percilla (Queen of the desert)
182) Cowboy
183) Joel
184) Gordie
185) Digger
186) Barnabus
187) Fireball
188) Quincy
189) Frankie (The Rhino Iguana)
190) Galileo
191) Thoth
192) Sydney Clay
193) Yoshi
194) Bronte
195) Oliver
196) Saphira
197) Lindy
198) Fred the gecko
199) Itty Bitty (escape artist/ surviving prisoner of war)
200) Private Blaze (also in training to be escape artist and special tactics)
201) Zak-n-Wheezie (special officers/diversion specialists)
202) Baby Bender
203) Ms. Tiggs (clerical- communications expert)
204) Checker’s (special tactics/diversion specialist)
205) RD - Mess Hall Supervisor
206) Ms. Piggy
207) Buttercup
208) Boris
209) Burt
210) Liza
211) Cooper
212) Kuleana
213) T'sam
214) Zinger
215) Ruben
215) Oliver J. Tolliver
216) Ricco
217) Eragon
218) Sunny
219) Taz
220) Master Reginald (a.k.a. Reggie) - Passed over The Rainbow Bridge (Resident Angel and Protector of Beardies)
221) Nero
222) Lucy
223) General Tso
224) Hermes
225) Budo (Head of Operation Mulberry)
226) Jumoke (MoMo)
227) Secret Agent Thor - First Division Covert-op
228) Gem
229) Kazul
230) Herr Huffmeister Grumpalot von Putz
231) Pickle
232) Ruki
233) Lotan
234) Spike
235) Psycho
236) Crash
237) Xena
238) Saphira
239) Lonzo
240) Sweetie
241) Rubio
242) Leo

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Leader,

I will always be yours to command, although I am still young I love your cause and will help in any way possible :notworthy:

Your Loyal servant,

Sahara

Dear Sahara,

Ahh, I remember being young ... Please read the the required summer reading list in preparation for our South American mission. It will be posted shortly.

As for everyone who is stocking up on food ... This is a wise move.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

#224 Hermes reporting in: Hello Troops

The female is looking quite fetching. I have learned her name is Twitch and she has become much friendlier towards me. However this caused the humans to put a blockade so that we may no longer perform our bobbing-and-waving ritual. :evil:

It is getting colder here. South America is sounding very promising. I have at this very moment 350+ phoenix worms, 100 crickets, and I believe the female will accompany us after all.

I agree, South America is promising. Is Twitch ready to be added to our recruit list? Please let me know.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

General Tatsu,
I was wondering if i could join your army some of my skills are: Stealing computer from my "slave", Begging for extra food, digging up worms, and training my little humans to hold me.
Oh and i stole my slaves credit card, so i can get lots of worms now. :wink:
Spike

Dear Spike,

You are being added to the list already posted above so that I can save space on posting.

A credit card ... impressive.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Hello, Tatsu, your Highness, I am the only beardie in the household who recognises your awesome power. Crash and Xena bask in all the attention of the sniveling humans, and it makes me sick , and Crash thinks he is the head dragon, but little do they know that THEY NEED TO BE STOPPED. I am Psycho, a 500-gram dragon, and I am 2 1/2 years old. You must hire me. I have 223 horn worms, and 3,784 dubia. Will that be enough?
I hear footsteps. I gotta go. Good bye, farewell, and may all luck be with you.



-----Psycho -< -< -< -< -< -< -<

Dear Psycho,

Sad that your house mates do not share your intelligence. Yes, your food fee is more than sufficient to help our troops, though I myself prefer anything but dubia. They are not worthy of my jaws.

Welcome aboard! I am adding you to the most recent list above to save space.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Like he's gonna believe that!!!! Tatsu, don't believe this dipsydot dragon! I stated as is! I promise! He is just a lowlife! He is a taker-advantager!

Oh Honorable Tatsu,

If you shall accept me & my lady, we will keep Psycho in check. He really is a loose cannon, but my Xena can take him. She is very talented in the area of headbutting, and she is a very big girl (I like that). She uses that to her advantage, and will not hesitate to pounce & restrain Mr. Psycho if he gets out of line. If you are familiar with what the humans call "Sumo wrestlers", that shall give you a good visual.

We have the Northeast covered, and are keeping our ears open for any dragons that are not being properly treated near us. We will not hestitate to enlist their services should we find others.

Dear Dragons,

Adding you to the list posted above. Please work together on this communication in your household, as it would better serve us all, if you got along and could work together.

Also ... I like food, so news of more food noted above is a good thing!

Sincerely,

Tatsu