Pookie's Minions - Pookie's Gone ☹

[sweetiepie9]

I'm so glad you made those impressions of their hands and feet prints together Gina, what a wonderful memorial to them both :love5: And I'm also glad you took family pictures, too, so you'll always have pictorial memories of Digi, too. It's so hard to say goodbye, I know, but I'm glad you're going to have her cremated. I'm here for you Gina, anytime, please know that.

 

[Esther19]

I know the pain is still overwhelming. When you get to the place where you can bear to think about it, here is a link to a store that offers beardie-sized cremation urns. When my Cissy left me, it was a couple months before I could stand to pick up her ashes; then all of a sudden one day I had to have her home. I put my little darling in the brass mother of pearl urn, because it matched her coloring so well. Perhaps you will find something appropriate for Digi. I love that you took impressions of their beards in addition to their footprints. Continuing to support you in prayer.

http://www.perfectmemorials.com/brass-mother-pearl-keepsake-cremation-urn-p-6145.html

 

[Goonie]

Thanks for the link, Esther.


When I got up this morning, my brain actually thought that I had dreamed the entire weekend, that Digi had never gotten sick and that she didn't pass away. For a micro second, my heart stopped and was I became slightly dizzy with joy. But then my brain was brought back to reality and then my heart sunk once again, and I think I had mentally yelled at myself for getting confused.

 

[Esther19]

I'm so sorry, Gina.

 

[sweetiepie9]

It happens, Gina, your mind just doesn't want to accept what happened, all part of grief cycle. Went through it a few times in the last 1 1/2 years. So perfectly understandable. You'll always have Digi in your heart Gina, even though it hurts not having her physically home. I feel for you, so much.

 

[Goonie]

You'll always have Digi in your heart Gina, even though it hurts not having her physically home.

But I don't want Digi to only be in my heart! I want to be selfish and have her here the way she's supposed to be, in a physical form. I want to be able to pick her up and hold her close to me, give her kisses, and whisper in her ear that I love her because she's my Babycakes.

 

[diamc]

Oh Gina, it's just awful to have your heart broken like that and so unexpected. I was thinking about you the past 2 mornings wondering if you woke up thinking/hoping it was all a nightmare. I did the exact same thing and when reality hit again, it hurt even worse. Feel SO badly for you and wish we could fix it.

I'm sure your babies are all confused and also worried about you. What you and they need right now is cuddling and lots of loving. You need to reassure them that you are there for them. You ALL need each other right now.

We are all here for you too, we are a family, please remember that always.

Many HUGS to you Gina, please try your best to be strong and take care of yourself & all your precious babies.

 

[sweetiepie9]

I just read what Diane wrote and agree, it was like that with Rubio. I feel for you Gina, wish I could help you, but I also found solace in having to care for my other dragons and geckos. It really helped, even though the grief was unrelenting. Big HUGS to you sweet lady, strength and prayers.

 

[Esther19]

I know, dear. You just want her to come home. NOW. You'll probably feel that way for a very long time. The pain will never really go away. It just kind of morphs a bit from being an all-consuming desperation to have her home to this large rock you carry around in your stomach. That is the price we pay for the opportunity love so deeply. I mourn my Cissy daily, but I wouldn't trade the time we had together in order to escape the pain. I imagine you feel the same way. Please forgive the seeming harshness of my thoughts, but you strike me a someone who would want the truth. The truth as I have experienced it, anyway. My heart is bleeding alongside yours. The others are right in that it will bring some comfort to cuddle your other babies, once you can get past the fact that they are not Digi. They love you, too. Remember to eat and stay hydrated, okay?

 

[beardie parents]

I know how much you miss Digi. I, also, find it helpful to have another one to love. We got Lil Squirt because Goldie died. If Goldie had not died, we wouldn't have Lil Squirt. She is quite the character. She is stubborn and, like most stubborn beardies, she wants what she wants.

 

[Goonie]

Please don't misunderstand my grief (and anger) over losing Digi for not loving my other babies. I still adore each and every one (though Zim had been getting on my last nerve lately, as he had reverted back to his naughty puppy ways), as I always had and always will. They are all special in their own ways, but Digi was so much more special because she loved everyone and everything (well, for exception of that poor unsuspecting bee that she inhaled a few years ago). That's why I called her "Babycakes".

Don't worry, Esther, you weren't "harsh". And yes, I'd much rather people told me the truth than sugar coat lies. Thank you.

 

[sweetiepie9]

I know you love your other babies but I also know how special Digi was. We're all here for you Gina

 

[diamc]

Gina, we do completely understand, one of them always has very special qualities that makes her/him stand out above the others, not just the personality but the special things that particular beardie has done, makes it SO hard to let go but does add to the memories that we cherish so dearly. You are heartbroken and we know how hard that is to try to handle and just go on with life feeling so empty & missing her so much. We also know that you love all the others VERY much and always will. :love5:

As Deb said, we are all here for you always.

 

[Esther19]

Dear heart, I didn't mean to infer that you didn't love your other babies. I just remember holding Cissy's brothers and sister after she left. It was a few weeks before I could hold them and tell them I loved them without thinking, "But you're not Cissy. Cissy needs to come home." And I do love them all dearly, just like you do yours.

 

[Tonja]

Gina I am so sorry to hear about Digi. I have been going through some stuff of my own and have not been on lately. I am going to be up front with you with Digi. There is no way we can predict or foresee what happens with our babies. They hide things so well we just cannot predict an illness. Sometimes the symptoms come on so quickly we don't have time to react and its to late as its their nature to hide things from us and predators. There is nothing you did that was wrong, we all know how much you cared for and love your dragons. I will be honest with you, its going to hurt and will for a long while and you will beat yourself up over the passing of Digi. This is normal and no amount of us telling you not to is going to stop you from feeling how you do. However, that being said, in time you will be able to look at the memories you have of Digi that are locked in your heart and be able to smile. You need to take the time to grieve and grieve in your own way, the grieving process is unique to each of us. I can tell you that you were a wonderful mom and are a wonderful mom to your babies and that there is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. We as humans can only do the best we can for our animals and sometimes it just doesn't seem to be enough. Take some solace in the fact that Digi did not go alone, she was with you and had your love to make her transition easier for her. Yes we want them with us, no its not selfish, what is selfish though is to think that our pets are invincible its selfish to ourselves to think this way, you instilled that in me with the loss of my Geico and Emily. Thinking this way sets us up to feel like we neglected something, overlooked something, did something wrong. So you take the time you need to grieve, you are going to beat yourself up no matter what we tell you, you will be angry, you will feel like you should have known something was wrong, these are all normal feelings and part of the process of grieving. Take the time you need. We are all here for you when you are ready for us to be. I may sound harsh or even childish, but its not for us to understand no matter how much we wish too. I tell you this with love and kindness and hope you understand that. Again I am so sorry you lost your Digi. My heart and prayers are with you.