Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[TangosMom]

This is Tango, as my human calls me.I am requesting to join your army along with my little housemate Taser.Our human is making us eat vegetables which are not my favorite thing and she makes me take baths which I hate.

 

[Sekhautet]

This is Tango, as my human calls me.I am requesting to join your army along with my little housemate Taser.Our human is making us eat vegetables which are not my favorite thing and she makes me take baths which I hate.

Dear Tango and Taser,

I am adding your name to the list as I type this. Please read my post below for further instructions.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[FireWolf181]

Charlie, Cadet#133 here to report sir

Tatsu Sir i am afraid i bring bad news.
Johnny has been taken away, after many hours of my rampage my human finally explained to me he was only looking after Johnny for a friend while he took a holiday.
He would have been a very valuable asset to the army.
I also bring good news.
We managed to develop an accessory for the Hydra 3000 (as we have decided to call the device that shoots water).
The accessory is one that is able to supercool the water to up to -30 degrees celsius without freezing it.
I squirted the side of the tank and it froze and cracked instantly i jumped out and switched the gun back to water and shot gretchen in the face the cat ran off, giving me a free getaway.I ran out of the room switched the gun back to the iced water and fired at my human as he treid to pick me up luckily i took care to switch the temperature to 2 degrees celsius as even though i wish to escape i still love my human. Unfortunately i missed him and he picked me up the gun fell away and smashed on the floor.
He put me in another tank until he gets my other one fixed i am trying to find a way to escape but i only escaped this tim because my human was careless and didnt close the lid properly.

I must go now


Charlie

 

[Sekhautet]

Charlie, Cadet#133 here to report sir

Tatsu Sir i am afraid i bring bad news.
Johnny has been taken away, after many hours of my rampage my human finally explained to me he was only looking after Johnny for a friend while he took a holiday.
He would have been a very valuable asset to the army.
I also bring good news.
We managed to develop an accessory for the Hydra 3000 (as we have decided to call the device that shoots water).
The accessory is one that is able to supercool the water to up to -30 degrees celsius without freezing it.
I squirted the side of the tank and it froze and cracked instantly i jumped out and switched the gun back to water and shot gretchen in the face the cat ran off, giving me a free getaway.I ran out of the room switched the gun back to the iced water and fired at my human as he treid to pick me up luckily i took care to switch the temperature to 2 degrees celsius as even though i wish to escape i still love my human. Unfortunately i missed him and he picked me up the gun fell away and smashed on the floor.
He put me in another tank until he gets my other one fixed i am trying to find a way to escape but i only escaped this tim because my human was careless and didnt close the lid properly.

I must go now


Charlie

Dear Charlie,

Keep your spirits up and do not fear. You are a brave beardie and I know you will figure something out.

A Hydra 3000 would be useful with the cats in my house. And the human slaves. I heard them talking about the vet again.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[babyelvissocute]

Dear Tatsu,
Elvis here. I was wondering if you wanted another beardie to join your army. I can offer you about 200 silkies and 100 crickets. I just figured out how to, what my slave calls, "puffs beard". Today I did it twice. I got put back in my cage and left alone so I could bask. I am very good at spying, where I am still small and can easily hide to evesdrop on the slaves awful plans. I need to join, as my human slave is tortuing me. The worst, she is calling me Fatty! How disrespectful is that???? Well, anyways, something to think about. Its feeding time. gotta run! Bye!
~Elvis~

 

[babyelvissocute]

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs)
107) Dante
108) Randal
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie

Can you add me?? Elvis. Thanks. Im a really good spy!

 

[duke11]

I think Rocky wanted to join too Tatsu on the 57 page.

 

[Gardori817]

Dear Tatsu,

I would like you to add heavy support to my title my size has done nothing but increase i am now 20 inches long and my wieght not yet ditermined but my humans call me "big boned" i beleive this means i am big and deadly. I would also like to apply my skills to the computer specialist area with Skoot. I have found a weakness in my humans they feel much pain when their necks are attacked. I have thrown my myself at that area countless times and get the same reaction.

#117 Garda

 

[thunderbrothers]

Dearest recruits,

Spike #59 here. It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you Tatsu has been forced into underground hiding due to classified reasons. Unfortunately, I cannot divulge any further information due to the threat of imminent torture upon myself and my young apprentice.

I will post again if the situation improves...

 

[FireWolf181]

Charlie, Cadet#133 here to report sir

Tatsu Sir i am afraid i bring bad news.
Johnny has been taken away, after many hours of my rampage my human finally explained to me he was only looking after Johnny for a friend while he took a holiday.
He would have been a very valuable asset to the army.
I also bring good news.
We managed to develop an accessory for the Hydra 3000 (as we have decided to call the device that shoots water).
The accessory is one that is able to supercool the water to up to -30 degrees celsius without freezing it.
I squirted the side of the tank and it froze and cracked instantly i jumped out and switched the gun back to water and shot gretchen in the face the cat ran off, giving me a free getaway.I ran out of the room switched the gun back to the iced water and fired at my human as he treid to pick me up luckily i took care to switch the temperature to 2 degrees celsius as even though i wish to escape i still love my human. Unfortunately i missed him and he picked me up the gun fell away and smashed on the floor.
He put me in another tank until he gets my other one fixed i am trying to find a way to escape but i only escaped this tim because my human was careless and didnt close the lid properly.

I must go now


Charlie

Dear Charlie,

Keep your spirits up and do not fear. You are a brave beardie and I know you will figure something out.

A Hydra 3000 would be useful with the cats in my house. And the human slaves. I heard them talking about the vet again.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Sir i am very proud to be called brave by you.
I have devised a plan for revenge against the humans for breaking my heart Johnny and i shared a good friendship and they just ripped it away.

I have secretly hidden and brainwashed many woodies and crickets that my human has tried to feed me.
I have had to eat some to keep my energy levels up but i have an army and we will attack all the humans food sources in exactly 1 hour.
I have also managed to brainwash a couple of mice that have snuck through the house.
I shall keep you posted throughout the war.

Charlie #133

 

[beardedneato]

Dear recruits,

Neato here. I never joined the Tastsu's army since I'm a quiet peaceful beardie who avoids conflit at all costs. But I wanted to let the forces know Tastsu has been forced to relocate for the next two weeks. If you want to join or check in you'll need to follow this link.

 

[BennyBoy]

so on page 57 i asked if i could join tatsu's army...again i am rocky and can i join you army???

 

[Keith Stoudt]

Tatsu's human was put on a suspension, be paitient and i'm sure He will put you on.

 

[InannaGod]

Tatsu!

This is Inanna, the fearless warrior who enjoys TV time now and again. I would like to join your army! My slave keeps me amused for a time, but this seems like a worthy challenge for one as... awesome as me!
I am practiced in cat scaring, my slave's cats are thoroughly frightened of me. I will also fearlessly jump off any structure, no matter how many times bigger it is than me! So can I join?

I heard Tatsu went into hiding... No worries! I am loyal enough to wait for the commander's return!

 

[duke11]

Dear recruits,
I'd like you to know that there will be, most likely, an Ides of May but not until the end of May for Mother's Day has passed. I'm sure Tatsu will reschedule with an awesome battle plan! The boot camp is up and running and we have special training units for secret agents, tactical officers, communication experts, and many more. If you'd like to be a tactical officer or agent, I can help you. Of course, with Tatsu's permission. Over and out.

Officer Duke 105