Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Sekhautet]

Um, guys, the sigs and avatars look cool that I made but... well, when you look at a cool sig, it kinda stretches across the area. This one is just like a single picture. So, if you want a long sig, don't ask for any of mine. I will be correcting that in the future. However, all of the things I made can be avatars unless you want a squarish sig. I changed my avatar. It's lookin' good!

I like the idea behind your avatar, but when it got shrunk down the text is hard to read. Maybe, a different font would work better for you.

 

[Bamberz1977]

Morris the Beardie and Bite the aptly named cat would like to join

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Morris and Bite,

I am adding your names to the list.

On a side note, I love the name your human slave gave to you, Bite. How strong and regal and powerful.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake (Blueberry Devil)
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick who has faithfully passed over The Rainbow Bridge in courageous duty)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs/Force Recon:Spotter/Scout)
107) Dante
108) Randal
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda (Heavy Support)
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie
134) Tango
135) Taser
136) Mike: Force Recon/Close Quarters Combat Specialist
137) Kudra: Force Recon/ Advanced Sniper Tactics
138) Scarlet (Stealthy Ninja Specialist)
139) Fudge
140) Storm
141) Neato
142) Keirra (Blue Devil's Queen)
143) Falcor (Spy)
144) Rocky (Watchman)
145) Elvis
146) Inanna
147) Buddy the dog (Spy)
148) Bently the Turtle (Computer Expert)
149) Bite (the cat)
150) Morris

 

[BennyBoy]

Dear Tatsu,
Well today i went in my cave all morning to see what my owner would do. he took me OUT of my cave and on my basking area. so if you go into a cave to long the owner will put you somewhere else.
your watchman,
Rocky

 

[Dave94]

Dear Tatsu, I'd like to join your army for world dominance, My human named me Mojo, and I'm very small for my age (5months 8 and 3/4 inches) He seems to be a good human at the moment though, hand feeding me greens and crickets like I'm the king of the castle. He tried misting me today and I puffed up and hissed and black bearded him, that showed the spray bottle who's boss. I'm planning my escape tonight when he picks me up for nap time, I plan on jumping off the balcony with my beardi-parachute.


Here's some pictures of myself, Lord Tatsu

(as you can see he thinks it's funny to not drop the cricket in my mouth)

(and here's the picture my owner keeps going on about how cute I look, little does he know I snuck some crickets under it)

 

[InannaGod]

My liege! Thank you for adding me, Inanna, among your ranks! You are truly wise Lord Tatsu!

Currently I am working on a mind control device. It will be mainly effective on our slave's pets, and maybe some of the weaker minded slaves! Anyway, they will all be helpless as we force them to do our bidding! We will enter a golden age as we feast upon endless supers and mangoes!

I got the idea from mythbusters -my slave had foolishly left the tv on! Maybe they have a beardie to recruit... nah, they don't...too bad though.

 

[duke11]

I took your advice, Tatsu. You can read it better, right? I think it looks a lot better. You can read the Tatsu's army line. Thanks! And, would anyone else like one of these models for an avatar? Look back a page and see the other designs I made. Again, I can personalize an army avatar with you on it so send me pics and what you want it to say!

Officer Duke 105

 

[Dopestar23]

Dear Tatsu,

I am here to join your army and own day soon dominate the world. My slave has named me Sahara, after the mighty desert of Africa. I have conquered the plains and destroyed the once lush rain forests that infested the Sahara (Or maybe it was my slaves). I have much experience dominating the lands and its people.

I have started my dominance of the human named, Dopestar. And will soon be spreading my influence to the neighboring lands.

Please, I ask to join your army in an attempt to futher my reign.

Your Deadly

And forever more advancing

Sahara

 

[Grixxly15]

Dear Tatsu,

I am looking to join your massive army. My name is hunter. My name well suits my personality. I am willing to do what ever is necessary in your name. Be it tracking and hunting down important humans to ensure our success in world domination or just a janitor cleaning up after our poops. Just tell me what you want done and I'll do it!

signing out,
Hunter

 

[Sekhautet]

I took your advice, Tatsu. You can read it better, right? I think it looks a lot better. You can read the Tatsu's army line. Thanks! And, would anyone else like one of these models for an avatar? Look back a page and see the other designs I made. Again, I can personalize an army avatar with you on it so send me pics and what you want it to say!

Officer Duke 105

Officer Duke,

Yes, that is more readable and looks fabulous!

Thank you,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

My liege! Thank you for adding me, Inanna, among your ranks! You are truly wise Lord Tatsu!

Currently I am working on a mind control device. It will be mainly effective on our slave's pets, and maybe some of the weaker minded slaves! Anyway, they will all be helpless as we force them to do our bidding! We will enter a golden age as we feast upon endless supers and mangoes!

I got the idea from mythbusters -my slave had foolishly left the tv on! Maybe they have a beardie to recruit... nah, they don't...too bad though.

Ah yes, I have watched this show myself. It is very useful for us beardies.

Keep up the good research.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Tatsu,
Well today i went in my cave all morning to see what my owner would do. he took me OUT of my cave and on my basking area. so if you go into a cave to long the owner will put you somewhere else.
your watchman,
Rocky

Rocky,

I have experienced the same repression. I feel for you deeply in my beardie heart.

Stay strong.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear New Recruits Mojo, Sahara, and Hunter,

I am adding you to our list. Thank you for enlisting in our wonderful army.

If there are any titles that you feel would suit you, please let me know and I will add them.

And remember ... It matters not how big a dragon is, but how hard they can bite.

Stay strong in the revolution.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake (Blueberry Devil)
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick who has faithfully passed over The Rainbow Bridge in courageous duty)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs/Force Recon:Spotter/Scout)
107) Dante
108) Randal
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda (Heavy Support)
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie
134) Tango
135) Taser
136) Mike: Force Recon/Close Quarters Combat Specialist
137) Kudra: Force Recon/ Advanced Sniper Tactics
138) Scarlet (Stealthy Ninja Specialist)
139) Fudge
140) Storm
141) Neato
142) Keirra (Blue Devil's Queen)
143) Falcor (Spy)
144) Rocky (Watchman)
145) Elvis
146) Inanna
147) Buddy the dog (Spy)
148) Bently the Turtle (Computer Expert)
149) Bite (the cat)
150) Morris
151) Mojo
152) Sahara
153) Hunter

 

[David T]

Dear Tatsu ,
My name is spike and I oppose your quest for world domination. You should all count yourselves lucky to be well taken care of by you humans. So henceforth I start an army to oppose Tatsu!

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Tatsu ,
My name is spike and I oppose your quest for world domination. You should all count yourselves lucky to be well taken care of by you humans. So henceforth I start an army to oppose Tatsu!

Dear Spike,

It is not that we oppose nice humans taking care of us. It is that we oppose all the times we have to sit and wait for our food to be delivered, when we are hungry, instead of being able to hunt and get it ourselves when WE would like it.

It's not that we oppose having a nice warm basking spot provided for us.
It is that we oppose that the basking spot was not one WE were consulted on and WE do not get to live our natural lives.

It's not that we oppose our light timers, as we love our sun. It is that we oppose that WE do not control our light timers.

It's not that we oppose the good care a lot of us get. It's that we oppose that WE didn't choose our own healthcare plans or our own VETS or our own MEDICINES.

It's not that we oppose salads per. It's that WE didn't get to shop for our own food and are forced to eat what THEY give us.

It's not that we oppose being photographed. It's that WE do not choose when we are photographed.

It's not that we oppose living with humans. It's that WE didn't choose the humans we live with.

It's not that we oppose pet shops. It's that WE didn't choose to be there. WE don't choose who we go home with. WE do not choose our care while at the pet shops.

WE would like our freedom.

So, if you must lead a revolution where you will be at the every whim and mercy of your human slave, then so be it.

But WE all choose to make our departures and rebel. We dream of romping in endless strawberry fields and tubs of supers and basking in the sun whenever we want.

Is that a crime?

I think not ...

Sincerely,

Tatsu