A guy walks into a bar and as he sits down on a barstool he notices there's a lizard on stage telling jokes.
The guy asks the bartender, "What's with the lizard?"
The bartender replies, "Oh he's the stand up chameleon."
*does a sideway headbow of the happy but submissive*
Fair enough!
This one isn't a lizard joke, but still applicable:
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere; it's so sanitary that the whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!" - pr0p3rty0fahaj0kes