It's been a rough few weeks and a bittersweet day. I have never taken a loss this hard in my life. My son bounced back quicker than I, and he'd been badgering me for a new friend to fill the empty lizard home in his room. We got Lenny as a tiny baby over Thanksgiving break all those years ago, and the timing was not lost on us. I agreed, but dragged my feet the whole break until today. I told him that we'd look, but that we had to find the RIGHT lizard, and that it would probably take more than one stop, more than one day, etc. I had finally cleaned and sanitized Lenny's home a couple weeks ago, and since I'd had the fogger out, I had also done his travel tank. My son made sure to bring it along "just in case". I warned him not to be disappointed if it came home empty, as you couldn't rush these things.
We went to a reptile store, and I was pretty much crying as soon as we walked in. While I tried to do that quietly, my son immediately gravitated to an orange beardie. I just KNEW he would want that one as soon as I saw it. I had a baby in mind, like Lenny, but this guy was more like a toddler beardie. My son asked to hold him, and when the staff handed him over, the little lizard jumped right out of his hands onto the counter, looking like he wanted to make an escape. I quickly picked him up, and the lizard tilted his head up at me, licked my hand twice and then immediately crapped in my hands. My son was sold. He said he knew it, he felt it, he wanted THIS lizard, it had to be THIS ONE. I started to protest, this was literally the first beardie we'd laid eyes on since losing Lenny, plus he'd jumped and looked like he wanted to run off. I went to wash my hands and upon my return, my son was in full pleading mode, even deploying puppy-dog eyes like I've not seen from him in years...he kept insisting this was The One, he knew it in his heart. I glanced at the thing, trying to find the right words to persuade my son to at least look at another lizard, but then I saw it... this guy had a tiny kink in his tail in the same spot Lenny did. I'm pretty sure many beardies have kinked tail tips, and I'm damn sure most of them like to crap on the hands that hold them, but other beardies didn't matter right then, the jumping crapper was coming home with us. I apologized to the staff member for being so weird, with the crying and all, and she said that actually, she got a lot of criers. She said that losing them was awful and that it was nice I was ready to love another. I looked, snifling, at the sweet lizard who isn't Lenny and said "well, to be frank..." but instead of finishing the sentence, I realized his name was Frank.
Frank came home with us and ate 18 xs dubia, basked on Lenny's old platform, then climbed me and went to sleep. He nestled right up to my neck just like Lenny used to. It it simultaneously breaking and warming my heart that Frank is in Lenny's spot and Lenny's still there, his ashes in my teardrop necklace.
