- Beardie name(s)
- Frank Ocean
I hope you are able to find some peace through all of your sorrow.
When we lost our first precious boy, I didn't think I was going to make it. It took years for me to
start to move on. To this day, I have never gotten over losing him & it feels like he was just here
with me yesterday.
Things will get easier, but, He made an imprint on your heart & soul which will forever be with you.
You will never forget, but, in time, the pain & sadness will be in the background & you can handle
it better. I'm not sure that it ever really goes away, it just gets dull so you can move on. I believe
that Lenny will find you again, he will seek you out.
I made a little photo album with our first one & it did help me.
Just checking on you to see how you were doing....
That is a very cute picture, he looks very lazy there!
Thank you for asking, I have wanted to talk about it a few times these last couple days, but nobody understands except for on here. I'm doing better, in a lot of ways. It's different than it was the first few days. It's not quite like living in a nightmare anymore... it's more like the world is colored gray.
The comment with the pic of someone else's beardie hit me a certain way at first, and I almost deleted it because no other pet could take my thoughts from Lenny, and I wasn't exactly expecting it. It did lead me to finally bring myself to look at pictures of my beautiful boy, and I was surprised to find so much comfort in them. He went everywhere with me, he traveled with us, he had family time with us, he was integrated into every aspect of my life, from mundane to momentous. He is so loved, to this day.
I have made/planned/ordered further memorial items so that I can keep Lenny with me alw ays, but I still get hit with those shocks of sadness that I can't believe I'm memorializing him and I want him back. I'm sure I always will.
My son had progressed in a different way, and he has hinted that although nothing would replace Lenny, we sure had a lot of love and supplies for a (new) beardie. I told him that I'm not ready but it stuck in my head. Lenny was an (unexpected) gift that my dad gave my son over Thanksgiving break all those years ago when we visited my family in El Paso. I'm pretty sure he came from a pet shop, but my dad has never been forthcoming about his origin. Lenny was so tiny and we had never had reptiles before! I had asked how old he was, so that I could figure how to care for him and my dad said 6-8 weeks (questionable). Now, considering this, I figure Lenny's birthdate and death date are pretty dang close, but for the year. Suddenly, the prospect of a new baby isn't as horrible. A beardie hatched after Lenny's passing would be about 7-8 weeks old over Thanksgiving break, old enough to bring home? Maybe I'm being crazy and grasping at straws again, but the timeline seems like it might mean... something. A new baby could never fill the lizard-shaped hole in my heart, but maybe it could fill the hole in our house.
This is Lenny on our trip to El Paso over the 4th of July this year.