I’m so sorry for your loss with Taro
I definitely feel for you it’s really been maybe the top 2 worst experiences of my life I miss her more everyday and keep smelling her blankets like a lunatic its been so hard to walk by my living room I’m always in my room
I have been taking time to grieve but I don’t feel anywhere near better - how long did it take you to overcome it or be ok again? (I’m sorry for this question no need to respond if it makes you uncomfortable at all)
Ivy was definitely and always will be worth it I start crying every time there’s a nice sunset above the water I feel like its a gift for her to see I still can’t believe it
I will hopefully have another beardie just as sweet as ivy and wish I could give all beardies good homes
it’s true and sad that not many have good carekeepers but I’m also worried to have another and make them sick or buy them sick again I’ll have to find a good breeder
I know how terrible it is, it feels like a deep pit in your stomach, I would also agree it was one of the worst experiences of my life, somehow different than the feeling of some of my relatives passing away for me. I think it's the guilt we feel, and that we feel somehow responsible, that if only we did something a little different it might have changed the outcome somehow. I still feel this sometimes but it does get better I promise. What's important to remember is that Ivy isn't suffering or sick anymore, she's at peace.
It's an okay question to ask, Taro passed May 27 2020. She was only 3 years old. I still miss her and when I look at her pictures I think of how privileged I was to have her. I do cry thinking about her once in awhile but in my mind it's just because I loved her so darn much, so it's okay to be sad and hurt still sometimes.
Everyone grieves differently, and theres no real timespan on it (but it gets better i promise) I'll share some things I did that helped me during my loss:
• I covered Taros enclosure with a sheet until I was ready for my next baby, to stop myself from looking at the enclosure with no lights and being reminded she's not there anymore. Interestingly, passively working on preparing for the new baby was also healing, slowly redecorating and overhauling the tank while also deciding which of taros belonging I'd keep safe.
• going for walks and listening to spiritual podcasts, gentle music. You could walk along that river maybe, or past it to say hello to her.
• talking about her to others helped me, I have a good relationship with my vet so she called me to check in and that helped, but really reaching out to anyone does (even us here on this forum!)
• I posted on the beardie memorials, a letter to Taro when I was ready. It took me a couple months to do this, only when I could finally accept she wasn't in our world anymore, because it didn't feel real for quite awhile.
• A year later I commissioned someone to do a painting of her using a good photo, and I made it into a fridge magnet with her name. Now I can see her everyday and it helps me to maintain that emotional connection with her.
Let yourself hurt and grieve, but you don't need to punish yourself. Charlie (my current baby turning 3 this year) did help me to focus on something new, I introduced her to my family just two weeks after Taros passing (my daughter was distraught so we just went out to "look" at the pet store with all the animals and ended up bringing her home
) but while having a new baby felt less lonely and helped guide me somewhere new, to this day she never felt like a replacement. They are so vastly different in personality but I've been so lucky to have them both.
This experience surprisingly enough will make you a better beardie owner, and wherever that new baby is for you out there they will be one lucky little dragon!
You have all been so supportive, even more supportive than the actual friends and people around me and it’s definitely taught me a lot, I had to come back on here today to say thank you
