Bred my bettas

[BPSabelhaus]

Great Can understand this very much from my also "not neuronormal" perspective of view

Diagnosed?

Want your mind blown?
We are neurotypical.
They are the ones adapted to modern settlement. Our neurology and internals is pre-settlement but the anatomy is modern human. Their species is at most 13,000 years old. Ours goes back to the beginning. It's this modern human anatomy with smaller jaws adapted to process food and smaller cranium adapted to the smaller jaw. The smaller cranium adapted well to the written word, so our minds tend to go in that direction often.


I already proposed Homo sapien occidentis for the domesticated humans. lol

 

[ChileanTaco]

Diagnosed?

Yes.

(Suspected it for a long time, hadn't wanted a diagnosis though as it can cause some issues in some countries with stuff like insurances and work visas (not funny when being kind of a digital nomad of the don't-know-what-the-next-country-will-be type) and I didn't need one, no need for support or therapy; finally got one as part of a study and that's not "registered" somewhere.)

 

[BPSabelhaus]

Yes.

(Suspected it for a long time, hadn't wanted a diagnosis though as it can cause some issues in some countries with stuff like insurances and work visas (not funny when being kind of a digital nomad of the don't-know-what-the-next-country-will-be type) and I didn't need one, no need for support or therapy; finally got one as part of a study and that's not "registered" somewhere.)

Nice, I always knew, but it took multiple burnouts and misdiagnosis to get there. And switching gears from Anthropologist and Ethnobotanist to Autism researcher was easy.


Also, forgot to drop the mic at the end of that last one.





Then sheepishly pick it up, make sure it works, put it back and apologize lol

 

[ChileanTaco]

@BPSabelhaus
I'm an astronomer/ engineer working at one of the big telescopes here in Chile. That's why I finally came here. Was an astronomy postdoc in the US. Love my job, as I can use what are my strengths (analytical thinking, paying attention to details, not bored by quietly working alone, love solving technical problems) and regarding what I'm not so good at, it's not required in this kind of job.
(For example, I'm not good at recognizing people by their faces (I have prosopagnosia) and I just cannot pick out voices out of other sounds (hyperacusis), I am bad at guessing people's intentions, I'm introvert - would not be good at working with customers, patients, kids. Tons of jobs would really not work well for me. But here, or also in the positions I held before - not making good eye contact, being very direct, being nerdy and quirky doesn't matter or is just normal, many of my workmates are actually on the spectrum too.) I do very well with this kinds of jobs. As a student, was used to work night shifts in data centers where technical problems needs to be fixed quickly - better jobs for me than e.g. delivering pizza or being a cashier which would just not suit me.

 

[NickAVD]

@BPSabelhaus
I'm an astronomer/ engineer working at one of the big telescopes here in Chile. That's why I finally came here. Was an astronomy postdoc in the US. Love my job, as I can use what are my strengths (analytical thinking, paying attention to details, not bored by quietly working alone, love solving technical problems) and regarding what I'm not so good at, it's not required in this kind of job.
(For example, I'm not good at recognizing people by their faces (I have prosopagnosia) and I just cannot pick out voices out of other sounds (hyperacusis), I am bad at guessing people's intentions, I'm introvert - would not be good at working with customers, patients, kids. Tons of jobs would really not work well for me. But here, or also in the positions I held before - not making good eye contact, being very direct, being nerdy and quirky doesn't matter or is just normal, many of my workmates are actually on the spectrum too.) I do very well with this kinds of jobs. As a student, was used to work night shifts in data centers where technical problems needs to be fixed quickly - better jobs for me than e.g. delivering pizza or being a cashier which would just not suit me.

You have a very interesting job and it looks like you have found your calling, this is very cool. It seems to me that in many ways my work is similar to yours, I also hardly communicate with people and often work at night.

 

[BPSabelhaus]

@BPSabelhaus
I'm an astronomer/ engineer working at one of the big telescopes here in Chile. That's why I finally came here. Was an astronomy postdoc in the US. Love my job, as I can use what are my strengths (analytical thinking, paying attention to details, not bored by quietly working alone, love solving technical problems) and regarding what I'm not so good at, it's not required in this kind of job.
(For example, I'm not good at recognizing people by their faces (I have prosopagnosia) and I just cannot pick out voices out of other sounds (hyperacusis), I am bad at guessing people's intentions, I'm introvert - would not be good at working with customers, patients, kids. Tons of jobs would really not work well for me. But here, or also in the positions I held before - not making good eye contact, being very direct, being nerdy and quirky doesn't matter or is just normal, many of my workmates are actually on the spectrum too.) I do very well with this kinds of jobs. As a student, was used to work night shifts in data centers where technical problems needs to be fixed quickly - better jobs for me than e.g. delivering pizza or being a cashier which would just not suit me.

Oh boy, wait til the autistic kiddo hears that lol

What telescope? I know what he's going to be researching today lol That is one of his special interests. He has all sorts of high school level astronomy books that he reads all the time


Nick,

My job is dad Instead of being able to turn my special interests into a career, I worked automotive for years. Always in fixed operations (parts and service were a reliable income source for dealerships. Now they rely on used car sales for profit, dying industry) I got out when I saw the writing on the wall, then did another 10 years with a different dealer group lol It's a tough industry, but reliable money.

I was good at it too. But, the industry changes and isn't adapting to change well.

Being late diagnosed, I had to break, be misdiagnosed etc... so my brain switched to neurodevelopmental researcher pretty easily. Living outside of cultural norms you kind of need to study people as a survival mechanism to hide among the cultures you inhabit. So studying the why of people was pretty easy lol

I would love to be in one of those fields getting paid, but the jobs are few and need degrees etc...

But with everything I have experienced I have also gained massive legal knowledge of our rights. I know what I am, I also have maternal family oral history that tells me who I might be. Recently I may have found another name that may tie all my family oral history together.

If my full spectrum genomic testing can verify my oral history I have no choice but to get my law degree and pick up my great great a couple more grandfather's feathered stick, get a couple face tattoos if I am honored with them and fight for all my people as he did.

I'm still not sure, but my oral history, family names that are given etc... is starting to add up.

I was told my grandmother through time was a Blackfoot / crow princess. BS? Can't be true.
Yet Stewart surname, James Francis for men, with Nell or Nellie as female middle names and Kathryn and Mary first names. The one lineage he officially left behind, carries those names too.
They kept Appaloosa horses, has large family gatherings regularly for the extended family. They hunted, gathered, used plant medicines for some things.

Massive culture differences from my father's side. Until genetics tell me the truth, my family history is very much in line with Chief Pretty Eagle. Statistics say he had one wife and three kids with one surviving child. Oral history says he had 19 wife's as part of trading deals. Which is perfectly in line with my historical understanding and assumptions from that history that she was a trade wife to the Spanish sea captain she married. It just makes sense.

But, genetics can shed light on that.

 

[NickAVD]

Oh boy, wait til the autistic kiddo hears that lol

What telescope? I know what he's going to be researching today lol That is one of his special interests. He has all sorts of high school level astronomy books that he reads all the time


Nick,

My job is dad Instead of being able to turn my special interests into a career, I worked automotive for years. Always in fixed operations (parts and service were a reliable income source for dealerships. Now they rely on used car sales for profit, dying industry) I got out when I saw the writing on the wall, then did another 10 years with a different dealer group lol It's a tough industry, but reliable money.

I was good at it too. But, the industry changes and isn't adapting to change well.

Being late diagnosed, I had to break, be misdiagnosed etc... so my brain switched to neurodevelopmental researcher pretty easily. Living outside of cultural norms you kind of need to study people as a survival mechanism to hide among the cultures you inhabit. So studying the why of people was pretty easy lol

I would love to be in one of those fields getting paid, but the jobs are few and need degrees etc...

But with everything I have experienced I have also gained massive legal knowledge of our rights. I know what I am, I also have maternal family oral history that tells me who I might be. Recently I may have found another name that may tie all my family oral history together.

If my full spectrum genomic testing can verify my oral history I have no choice but to get my law degree and pick up my great great a couple more grandfather's feathered stick, get a couple face tattoos if I am honored with them and fight for all my people as he did.

I'm still not sure, but my oral history, family names that are given etc... is starting to add up.

I was told my grandmother through time was a Blackfoot / crow princess. BS? Can't be true.
Yet Stewart surname, James Francis for men, with Nell or Nellie as female middle names and Kathryn and Mary first names. The one lineage he officially left behind, carries those names too.
They kept Appaloosa horses, has large family gatherings regularly for the extended family. They hunted, gathered, used plant medicines for some things.

Massive culture differences from my father's side. Until genetics tell me the truth, my family history is very much in line with Chief Pretty Eagle. Statistics say he had one wife and three kids with one surviving child. Oral history says he had 19 wife's as part of trading deals. Which is perfectly in line with my historical understanding and assumptions from that history that she was a trade wife to the Spanish sea captain she married. It just makes sense.

But, genetics can shed light on that.

I think you should definitely study your family history. This will help you understand who you are. Besides, by doing this you will honor the memory of all your ancestors. Perhaps you will be able to document the history of the family and the descendants will get much more information about everything, it will not be lost or distorted due to oral retelling.

 

[BPSabelhaus]

Yeah, I grew up questioning things like oral history and herbalism even though I was studying it lol Medicine comes from somewhere, but the modern teaching is about pharmaceuticals and making synthetic blah blah. Well, the synthetic comes from somewhere right? It's copying something else. But when being taught, the mind kind of ignores blatant paths when what is being taught is a cultural freeway running over that path lol At some point things started clicking together and instead of questioning things I just did them then observed the reaction.

Oh! I can remove that annoying wart using wild lettuce? And it works much faster than over the counter wart remover? I smoked cigarettes for years not knowing why. Quit for my wife, but after that there was this lingering anxiety. Cannabis doesn't get me high, it just lets me unmask a bit. So I enjoyed it for that.

But now, through experimenting on myself I understand that cannabis helps regulate my body to mind connection. But my mind can still be a bit its own thing. That's where tobacco helps. I had no idea how well my brain can be regulated with just tobacco. Not cigarettes but pure tobacco. Even the domesticated tobacco works great. But indigenous tobacco works even better. Much much stronger. It literally forces you to your knees with its strength. But once Mapacho releases his grip and allows you to stand, wow does the world change. The sun is no longer blinding, colors are beautiful, sounds, smells everything is just perfect. Like watching the world in 4k. Only it lasts, for quite a long time.

I'm motivated, I can work on things that are boring like chores. Only it's not a task. It's a thing to do before the next thing. Years of useless pharmacy drug testing one after another to try to find something that allows me to just be normal was a waste. That's a different genetic testing lol But that one will be soon. Full spectrum isn't covered by insurance but they're happy to pay for a service that sells more drugs lol

I just want an aspirin that works lol If there's small chance of side effects with a drug,other side effects may be the only effects

 

[ChileanTaco]

What telescope? I know what he's going to be researching today lol That is one of his special interests. He has all sorts of high school level astronomy books that he reads all the time

Rubin/ LSST.

Late diagnosed also (mid 30s despite suspecting it since being a teenager - in fact, nothing has changed with "that sheet of paper"), but luckily it's so obvious what I'm good at and what I'm not good at.
Had to do various internships as a teenager, and it immediately was obviously that such as retail, working in a bank (nurse I hadn't even tried) is just not my thing; I sometimes was "allowed" to end an internship earlier (= they fired me, in fact, but as I had been on time, nice and all the things - just not fitting in - they phrased it like that). And I was in fact happy when it ended, as I just couldn't bear the constant stream of various people, their chatter, their perfume, their smalltalk, their indirect indirect "if you could spare a bit of time, might you... maybe?" (people, say it directly: "(please) close the door, (please) scan the documents", and I will do it!)
Internship in software engineering however: that was great, tasks I performed well at, nobody getting annoyed by me, and various people where I thought "so relaxing normal"... felt also closer to physics which I was interested in very much already but wasn't able to study yet. I was at at school which doesn't allow for enrolling at a university after graduating (German school system: If you get into "Hauptschule" or "Realschule" it's over after 9 - 10 years and then one does an apprenticeship, and if you get into "Gymnasium" you do 13 years and can study afterwards. Which type of school depends on your grades, but also, and this was the crux, where your parents enroll you. So my parents, working-class, thought the 10-year-track is enough despite the extremely good grades I had). Did an apprenticeship in software engineering (in Germany that's working plus attending a college, and there were tons of people I would think of were on the spectrum), after that went to "second chance" school (so a high-school for grown-ups who either dropped out of school or were in the 10-year-track and did an apprenticeship, had chosen the math/technology track), studied physics and math in my home country Germany, followed by a PhD, and then - wasn't easy - dared to leave to another country and another.

Living outside of cultural norms you kind of need to study people as a survival mechanism to hide among the cultures you inhabit.

That is so much true. I'm not very good at reading people's faces (studied it a lot - it helped a lot, but I'm still very much below average), not good at spotting people's intentions (this made me cautious), but often spot the cultural things quite easily. Including wondering about things of my own culture, things we easily overlook otherwise.

Cannabis doesn't get me high, it just lets me unmask a bit. So I enjoyed it for that.

I'm staying away from such very much (never smoked, no cannabis, no alcohol), but I understand why people use them. (And I respect that!) I just personally don't like it and so, no. (Luckily, it never happened that I had to use any pharmacy drugs in order to try to "normalize" me.)
I'm very much "unnormal", but in many cases can design my life to something that suits me. You won't find me in a pub - you would find me on a trail, or reading. You won't find me buying perfume or itchy fancy clothes. You won't find me simulate having a "normal" taste or humor. The latest movie that "everybody must see"? Chances are high I haven't seen it for a variety of reasons. No idea if that's a benefit of being more into the spectrum so just not being able to "pass of as normal", I just won't be able to do so. I have always been the quirky alien, having a strength-weakness profile that's often weird to people and has often be seen as laziness and disinterest as a kid ("If you're able to identify enough plants to win the plant identification contest/ if you're obviously able to .../ then you should be able to recognize this is your neighbor/ aunt Susie/ ... whoever" - no, I can't! plants, stellar constellations, failures in electronic circuits... are easier for me than learning faces), being respected for it as an adult by my (very small, that's obvious) social environment, differently than often being disrespected and getting into trouble for that as a kid.

 

[BPSabelhaus]

TBH I hate smoking too. Wish edibles worked for me. I had a job with Ceres edibles for about a year. Loved the job, worked with a lot of women and indigenous peoples (Islanders and Hmong) But the driving and noises I just couldn't handle. I was working at Walter Whites chocolate factory lol I wish edibles worked for me, but the gut doesn't process THC

With smoking it aggravates one big anxiety temporarily to relieve all anxiety. The big anxiety? Suffocating scares me to death and holding my breath has a little voice constantly saying "We can't breathe" But, a moment of anxiety that subconsciously I know I'm ok, I can push through just fine. At my worst depression my wife was worried about my time spent reading by the pond. She worried I would drown myself in the pond. No, nope nope nope lol Not gonna happen.


Besides, fish pee in there

But yeah, if it's popular must do things it probably sucks lol But I do love watching the Marvel movies, Godzilla etc on the big screen. Fortunately AMC has sensory friendly showings Lights are left on low, sound is dialed back, smaller theater that is rarely full. Finding a decent time etc... is a bit limited and I know they lose money on it but I appreciate they do it for us. Usually it's just the three of us and maybe a couple groups like us.

I always forget names to faces lol That whole eye contact thing lol

 

[ChileanTaco]

I can relate very much to the driving and noises being too much.
The smoking, I for sure couldn't bear the smell (haven't smoked a single cigarette and also nothing else in my life), and to be honest, I'd see tons of reasons why I would not want to try that.

But I do love watching the Marvel movies, Godzilla etc on the big screen.

I also love watching certain films/movies - but might just not be the popular ones. (I love documentaries.)
The thing is that just things most people find entertaining, most people find relaxing, most people find... are not working for me that way. A movie full of people where one has to keep apart all those faces? A full movie theater? Not what I enjoy.


Names, I remember them very well, also other facts. But I just don't remember the faces.

So I know e.g. "my in-laws older sister is Christine and younger one is Ella and Ella's dog is Tim who's a Spaniel, Daniel from third grade lives in Garden street number 3 upper apartment"... all the facts.
But presented with a face, I just don't know that this is... the Ella where I know very well that's sister of Christine, sister of my father-in-law, and who owns the dog Tim, a Spaniel. Very well I could tell all the facts if asked.

It's like for typical people e.g. the feet would be shown. That's what faces are for me.
Who would be able to recognize their aunt, boss, classmate... by their toes? You know a bunch of facts of those people, but just not don't know who this should be when being shown the feet, the toes. Same is for me with faces.

Btw.: Often it's seen by others as forgetting names. But that's an entirely different thing. People who forget names would know exactly that's the neighbor, that's the nice and that's the not so nice person at the library (it doesn't even need a name for that). People with a "face problem" like me can tell you the name of the neighbor (if ever heard or read), but likely won't know that the person walking around is their neighbor.
It once happened to me that I had to go to the office hours of a professor (I was a student), I was attending his lecture already for the entire semester (and the semester before). So had lecture by "Dr. Miller", had appointment for office hours with "Dr. Miller", arrived at the institute building, couldn't find the office (first time there) and asked a random person in the hallway to please let me know where the office of "Dr. Miller" is. Yes, the random person was... Dr. Miller, I had no clue, despite seeing him twice a week.
(I try to work around this by remembering items people often use. Like: What is their jacket, their backpack, do they have glasses that stand out, maybe a visible tattoo, unusual jewelry. Works often, but those items aren't always present or visible, of course. Voices are also a thing, but people aren't talking all the time. Faces only work for me if they stand out very, very much - like: a big scar, or somebody that is very much older or younger than other people in a group, or person is the only one with big freckles, or facial features related to an ethnicity that is rare at a given place, or such.)
I suspect (!) that a good amount of people thinking they are bad at remembering names are actually bad at remembering faces, because when not paying close attention to what is really going on it might look like that. Only certain situations, like with the "Dr. Miller" example, or when having problems finding people (meeting somebody at a restaurant, giving back a book to somebody in class), will clearly show the difference.

 

[BPSabelhaus]

Yup, horrible at that lol

I know I know the person, but who are they again?

Barry right?

Terry.

Oh' sorry about that Larry, I'll remember next time lol

Next time. Harry! How are you are?

 

[ChileanTaco]

@BPSabelhaus
That's clearly the other problem - really not remembering the names. Very different from mine, I don't know I know the person. Like:
"Could you please give me your phone number so I can find you in front of the library/ in the restaurant/ on the bus stop?"
Remember me also once I went to the office to return some keys. Had written an e-mail before that I will come by and return the keys. Person close to the front desk, me approaching her "Hi Nancy, I'm just bringing back the keys" A very puzzled person - that wasn't Nancy. To me they looked the same. Later on I compared photos online, yes I can see the difference next to each other (a bit a different shade of hair color, nose shape etc.), but just seeing one, it's the same appearance for me.
At the same time I'm puzzled why people don't see that a given insect is not a beetle...

A while ago, my husband tested me (and that was okay, was also laughing about it afterwards):
He grabbed a jacket he's not wearing often, put on a baseball cap like many people wear them, and waited for me where he was knowing I'll be walking home. I gave that man the direction to the post office
He also succeeded in surprising me with picking me up from work - yes, I saw "a man" sitting on the stairs.

 

[NickAVD]

I can relate very much to the driving and noises being too much.
The smoking, I for sure couldn't bear the smell (haven't smoked a single cigarette and also nothing else in my life), and to be honest, I'd see tons of reasons why I would not want to try that.

I also love watching certain films/movies - but might just not be the popular ones. (I love documentaries.)
The thing is that just things most people find entertaining, most people find relaxing, most people find... are not working for me that way. A movie full of people where one has to keep apart all those faces? A full movie theater? Not what I enjoy.


Names, I remember them very well, also other facts. But I just don't remember the faces.

So I know e.g. "my in-laws older sister is Christine and younger one is Ella and Ella's dog is Tim who's a Spaniel, Daniel from third grade lives in Garden street number 3 upper apartment"... all the facts.
But presented with a face, I just don't know that this is... the Ella where I know very well that's sister of Christine, sister of my father-in-law, and who owns the dog Tim, a Spaniel. Very well I could tell all the facts if asked.

It's like for typical people e.g. the feet would be shown. That's what faces are for me.
Who would be able to recognize their aunt, boss, classmate... by their toes? You know a bunch of facts of those people, but just not don't know who this should be when being shown the feet, the toes. Same is for me with faces.

Btw.: Often it's seen by others as forgetting names. But that's an entirely different thing. People who forget names would know exactly that's the neighbor, that's the nice and that's the not so nice person at the library (it doesn't even need a name for that). People with a "face problem" like me can tell you the name of the neighbor (if ever heard or read), but likely won't know that the person walking around is their neighbor.
It once happened to me that I had to go to the office hours of a professor (I was a student), I was attending his lecture already for the entire semester (and the semester before). So had lecture by "Dr. Miller", had appointment for office hours with "Dr. Miller", arrived at the institute building, couldn't find the office (first time there) and asked a random person in the hallway to please let me know where the office of "Dr. Miller" is. Yes, the random person was... Dr. Miller, I had no clue, despite seeing him twice a week.
(I try to work around this by remembering items people often use. Like: What is their jacket, their backpack, do they have glasses that stand out, maybe a visible tattoo, unusual jewelry. Works often, but those items aren't always present or visible, of course. Voices are also a thing, but people aren't talking all the time. Faces only work for me if they stand out very, very much - like: a big scar, or somebody that is very much older or younger than other people in a group, or person is the only one with big freckles, or facial features related to an ethnicity that is rare at a given place, or such.)
I suspect (!) that a good amount of people thinking they are bad at remembering names are actually bad at remembering faces, because when not paying close attention to what is really going on it might look like that. Only certain situations, like with the "Dr. Miller" example, or when having problems finding people (meeting somebody at a restaurant, giving back a book to somebody in class), will clearly show the difference.

Yes, judging by your story, this is not very convenient, perhaps people will even be offended by you. I can understand you, because I have severe myopia and I can’t see faces well and often don’t notice people I know or say hello to them. Very often my parents were asked why I walked past and didn’t say hello to them. I felt very uncomfortable.
I noticed that you really like to study something and analyze problems. Tell me, have you tried to solve this problem? For example, remember hair color and hairstyle? You can remember some detail that uniquely identifies a person. I’ll say right away that it won’t work out for me, because for me, all faces are a little blurry and I only see them up close.

 

[ChileanTaco]

Yes, judging by your story, this is not very convenient, perhaps people will even be offended by you. I can understand you, because I have severe myopia and I can’t see faces well and often don’t notice people I know or say hello to them. Very often my parents were asked why I walked past and didn’t say hello to them. I felt very uncomfortable.
I noticed that you really like to study something and analyze problems. Tell me, have you tried to solve this problem? For example, remember hair color and hairstyle? You can remember some detail that uniquely identifies a person. I’ll say right away that it won’t work out for me, because for me, all faces are a little blurry and I only see them up close.

I try remembering clothes and hairstyle - then something happens like with giving back the keys to Nancy. I wasn't aware that many people working the front desk tend to wear "nice clothes", and have a hair style that is of the kind "needs frequent visits at the hairdresser" (Nancy and not-Nancy both had curly bleached hair) and identified her by that.
Among my direct workmates it's often easier, because when not wearing protective clothes it's normal to dress individually. People here often have creative hair styles, wearing fun T-shirts, have piercings, tattoos are visible, and such.

What I do very much (since I was a teenager) is remembering backpacks, watches, glasses, cars/motorcycles/bikes/license plates, whether somebody has visible tattoos or piercings, and other things. Especially things somebody likely won't switch out often. It helps to some degree. It works reasonable well in a given setting (like: 5 - 10 people at work), works when somebody looks super unique (like: for years having half of their hair pink, half of their hair blue and that will stay) or might even stand out by something that won't change (once I had a workmate being super tall), but is usually not enough to recognize people wearing some kind of uniform (i.e.: server at the restaurant, in the canteen, cleaning person, nurses, bus driver - which one was the nice, which one the grumpy person last time?), people not wearing a uniform but still wearing rather "standardized" clothes and other personal items (like: bank, front desk; rather not the place where people decide for the punk outfit or showing off their sleeve tattoo or having a cartoon backpack), people you rather see from far away (neighbor walking home - ah, he's home, I can give him back the tools!).
I also remember voices, but just as I wrote above: People don't talk all the time (luckily!), and people you see rarely and tend to appear "average" (at least to me). The above also rarely works with movies where the fine details cannot be seen and you see them in a few situations which are often highlighted by changing their appearance slightly (e.g.: that it's another day or whether it's private or business or a business dinner or a date is highlighted by changing appearance).