Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[beagle lover]

Tatsu, in honor of your current condition, I have gone on a hunger strike and won't eat any of the special worms my slave has purchased for me. I will send the silk, horn, butter and superworms for the cause. My slave doesn't realize I can out wait her, when it comes to not eating. HAHAHAHAHA. Puff out.

 

[Sekhautet]

Tatsu, in honor of your current condition, I have gone on a hunger strike and won't eat any of the special worms my slave has purchased for me. I will send the silk, horn, butter and superworms for the cause. My slave doesn't realize I can out wait her, when it comes to not eating. HAHAHAHAHA. Puff out.

Thank you, Puff. I am being starved out at the moment.

Bye,

Tatsu

 

[Zefraner]

Oh great Tatsu, I would like to pledge my allegiance to you. I may be young, but I certainly have the battle scars and experience beyond my age. I attempted to escape, but was thwarted by my humans friend. Next thing I know...pain...The stupid human had knocked something large on me. My human took me to a human in a white coat. Those are evil, evil people. The white one kept poking my toe as if it would suddenly grow a flower, AND he shoved some vile liquid down my throat. Grr! The white one got to my human and she started forcing liquids some my throat. My human also put me through humiliation I cannot forgive, she put more stuff from the white one on my foot and wrapped strange paper around my foot. I of course kept trying to just flick it off, but noooooo my human wouldn't have that. That of course made my a spectacle to other humans. With the stroking and the sad noises, I was a one man circus. Humiliation! For a week I wore and endured this, but my devilish human has something even more terrible up her sleeve!! She took me back to the white one, and left me there, yes left me there. Next thing I know people are poking and proding me. I tried to fight, but was surrounded and gassed. Next thing I know I'm awake in my cage no toe. Those humans didn't even have the gull to put up a fight. Now I want justice!
I need your help to achieve that. My human is more then a slave now. I have managed the Pathetic Puppy look. I have even infiltrated the thing the humans call a bed. I am currently attempting some mind control tactics, but that is sadly a work in progress. But if you require supplies, I am your man! Please great one, train me to be as strong as yourself.
Good Luck, my wishes are with you in the trial you are about to experience. I will keep attempting to escape so I can try to come to your rescue.
Your Willing Soldier,
Ish

 

[BennyBoy]

dear tatsu,
It seemed to be my owners birthday?(whatever that is) yesterday and i can't figure out what it is... i heard everyone else in his family saying happy birthday to my owner. weird... but my owner said that for his birthday he was getting me superworms a mvb bulb and some other goodies! is birthday like a special day like christmas or something. because i remember that christmas day everyone was saying merry christmas ALL the TIME. anyway, is a birthday like a second christmas???? WHAT'S GOING ON?
watchman out.

 

[pixiedustdreams78]

Tatsu,
Have only recently arrived in my slave's home. My previous "owners" did not take care of me so off I went! Did not take more than one day to turn my new human into a slave, although this may be due to the fact that there was already another dragon in the house (who is leaving today). My new girlfriend is also a new arrival to my slave's home and both of us would be honored to join your army. She has also had a rough life and is not the prettiest girl around but she is mine! We will constantly have other dragons in OUR home able to join as my slaves take in all kinds of dragons all the time. I have superworms that I can contribute, but my girl is too little for them yet so she only has crickets but I can make up for her share! I am mostly german giant so am quite large and will be able to help the cause! My girlfriend has VERY long nails and is quite a scratcher so she can help to. Please consider our request to join your ranks!
Your willing servents
Jake and Jazzy

 

[MALIBUSMOM]

Hello Tatsu,
I am writing becouse i realy need to join your army...i have been trying to escape to come to bootcamp for 3 days relentlessly.i laid around for a year and a half thinking about it but now i know i truly belong.Iv done the hunger strike & yes i did get wax worms.I have torn up my viv...spread the greens around
I even ate a catapillar!
Please have someone send for me soon as i am hanging on the screen door waiting.

 

[Sekhautet]

New Recruits,

I am sorry I have been away from my post. My computer was taken over by a human slave's visitor this week and I have been without communication. I have added names to the recruit list.

As for you, Malibu, I will add your name as soon as you tell me what to put. I suggest taking a flying beardie leap to freedom, as New Hampshire is quite a trek from Texas at the moment.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Electrical specialist)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake (Blueberry Devil)
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick who has faithfully passed over The Rainbow Bridge in courageous duty)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs/Force Recon:Spotter/Scout)
107) Dante
108) Randal
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda (Heavy Support)
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie
134) Tango
135) Taser
136) Mike: Force Recon/Close Quarters Combat Specialist
137) Kudra: Force Recon/ Advanced Sniper Tactics
138) Scarlet (Stealthy Ninja Specialist)
139) Fudge
140) Storm
141) Neato
142) Keirra (Blue Devil's Queen)
143) Falcor (Spy)
144) Rocky (Watchman)
145) Elvis
146) Inanna
147) Buddy the dog (Spy)
148) Bently the Turtle (Computer Expert)
149) Bite (the cat)
150) Morris
151) Mojo
152) Sahara
153) Hunter
154) Spike (stealth and sniping specialist)
155) Sherbert (The master double-crosser)
156) Ish
157) Jake
158) Jazzy

 

[MALIBUSMOM]

I have been praticing profusly , i can get 3 of 4 feet on to the slider screen! I guess for now i will settle for being Malibu:Master of Mahem.Today my slave
took me to the vet. I am weighing in at 1.6 pounds.I believe.i am fit for the job.
Thank you so much for your quick response.I hope you are feeling much better.
Malibu: The Master of Mahem.

 

[epirates]

I too would like to join your army, mate!

I am not alone in this human prison, there are 3 other cellmates nearby, I can see them through the glass. One is this eight legged freak named Chiquita, not too fond of her, I see her getting my rations of food from time to time. The other inmate keeps me up at night running in this wheel contraption, this hairball is stupid and doesn’t realize he’s not actually going anywhere, scratch him off the list. My last hope is this Conure that’s in an actual barred cell but he can fly and has possession of a wooden ladder and I believe he wants his freedom too.

I must be careful, as there are four guards that routinely patrol the area, sniffing and barking all the time. I know two of them fear the sight of me, the smallest one tolerates me but the big one, she will do anything for food. She will make the most excellent form of transportation both by land and by sea.

I’ve busily been preparing for my escape, I have stashed a pair of night vision goggles under the log in my home – they never look there. I have started stockpiling away some of my food, to bribe the guard with. I think my plan will work and if I succeed, there is plenty of room for all of us on this behemoth dog I mentioned.

Together we will conquer and rule the world!

"Busy" Izzy

 

[C-Town Dragonz]

Great Tatsu,

This is Thorn reporting from a distant cell somewhere in Michigan. My cellmate (Xerces) and I are very eager to join your army in hopes that our keeper will meet a very untimely demise :twisted: the wretched human has recently added a so called "basking" device known as the Hammock to our prison...unknown to the wretch, Xerces is well underway drawing up schematics on how to incorperate the green mesh in our devious escape plot. The keeper is headed our way!!! signing off from somewhere in Michigan...Two hopefull recruits...Thorn and Xerces(The God King).

 

[Edricks]

Dear Tatsu:

It has been too long since we last spoke, and I blame it entirely on the human component in this house. She is never home anymore, which means the only time I get let out is after lights out and, well, you know that sleep is the only important thing after lights out.

It's been brilliantly sunny up here lately, so I've been let out more and more these days, which is spectacular as I have so much pent up energy, I feel I could run around the entire house five times before needing a rest. As the computer has become vacant, I thought I'd check to see how you are doing. It's quite a shock to see that you've amassed quite a large army since last we spoke. I'm impressed. I hope there is a spot in there for me.

I don't really care about world domination. Of course, I will help you with your goal. In my opinion, a bearded dragon should be the head of the world's superpowers, and I don't know any other dragon better suited for the job than you. I would, however, like to beg your protection. You see, a little over a year ago the human component brought home another dragon. That's right, my rightful place as the sole dragon in this house was stripped from me, and how I have to share time, space and worst of all worms with this little orange runt! At first, I thought I could just ignore him. He was a third my size, and couldn't possibly start any trouble. But as he grew, his attitude grew with him, and now it's all beard this and bob that. Seriously! The nerve of that punk! We've taken a few nips at each other over the year, and let me tell you I'd really like to sink my teeth into his little red neck, but the human component wont let me. Dang her! And if that weren't stress enough, my brother keeps visiting for weeks at a time. What a bum! Doesn't he have his own place to stay?! Why does he have to keep coming here?!

So please, Tatsu, I beg you, let me join your army so I can finally have some muscle to help me push these two brats out of my life! With the three of us here all shedding and myself full of eggs again, I don't know how much more of this I can take!

Yours with love
-Loiosh

 

[jarett_harrison]

Great Tatsu,
I know what you are feeling. I have to have cream and injections in my beard because i have a small wound from trying to escape the lamp burnt me. Then my owner took me to the man in a white coat(his was green this time???) and gave my owner cream that smelled really bad! Then it wasn't working (i would rub it off when my owner wasn't looking) and so he took me back. Then the man said some weird things and then i went home. The next day he brought me back and left me. I tried to escape but i also was gassed. When i woke up some of my beard was missing!!! AH! I can still beard and head bob but for now i have a bandage around my head. I haven't been letting my owner touch me without lots of protest because everytime he pics me up now its for cream and an injection!!!
Also, Boog says that he is now 14inches and thinks he can fight.
He is only a little over five months, but hes big for his age! He also bit the owner yesterday and then i got scolded for telling him to do it. Grrr
Saphira out.

 

[lousmom]

I wanted to share my soldier with you.

 

[FireWolf181]

General Tatsu

Recruit #133 Charlie here

It has been too long since i have spoken here
I would like to be assigned as the escape artist
I have to report the mass inside war at my humans place after my human found me he put me in my tank and his family had to go out and by more food because my cricket army destroyed all the food in his house

I have been in deep training focussing on my beardie death glare
I have had excellent progress with my death glaring using crickets as test subjects so far i have been able to paralyse them using only my mind and the death glare. Hopefully when master the skill maybe can temporarily paralyse my human giving me enough time to escape

I better go now

Charlie out

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Loiosh & Other Recruits,

Of course, my love, I will take you under my protection. I have added your name and all the other recruits as well.

I hope that all of you are training well.

My human slave had them stick my mouth with a needle the other day. I have been under the weather and not able to respond these past few days. Please excuse me.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Electrical specialist)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake (Blueberry Devil)
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick who has faithfully passed over The Rainbow Bridge in courageous duty)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke (Tactical Officer/Secret Agent)
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs/Force Recon:Spotter/Scout)
107) Dante
108) Randal
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander
114) Leonidas (King of Beardie Sparta)
115) Kelekona
116) Mater
117) Garda (Heavy Support)
118) Spike
119) Lizzy
120) Patas
121) Diver The Terrible
122) Nefertiti
123) Galadriel
124) Kang
125) Seshat
126) Fibonnaci The Fabulous
127) Astarte
128) Midori
129) Phebe
130) Skoot (Computer Specialist)
131) Buda
132) Moose
133) Charlie (Escape Artist: The Dragon Of Stealth)
134) Tango
135) Taser
136) Mike: Force Recon/Close Quarters Combat Specialist
137) Kudra: Force Recon/ Advanced Sniper Tactics
138) Scarlet (Stealthy Ninja Specialist)
139) Fudge
140) Storm
141) Neato
142) Keirra (Blue Devil's Queen)
143) Falcor (Spy)
144) Rocky (Watchman)
145) Elvis
146) Inanna
147) Buddy the dog (Spy)
148) Bently the Turtle (Computer Expert)
149) Bite (the cat)
150) Morris
151) Mojo
152) Sahara
153) Hunter
154) Spike (stealth and sniping specialist)
155) Sherbert (The master double-crosser)
156) Ish
157) Jake
158) Jazzy
159) Loiosh
160) Thorn
161) Xerces
162) Busy Izzy
163) Malibu (Master of Mayhem)
164) Sandy (Advanced Nuclear Tactics Captain)