Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Keith Stoudt]

Mighty Tatsu i am sorry i have not responded in a long time. My partner Agor has been in brumation, and without his strength, ou dojo building has been slowed to a crawl, BUT i may have found a ninja strike force for you. My slaves cousin happens to be a breeder, ametuer though he is, he owns 6 bd's. I will train them as soon as the dojo is complete, and i will let you know as soon as they are ready.

LONG LIVE TATSU!


Dameon :twisted: and Agor :dontknow:

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Troops,

With the holidays upon us, your mission is to steal anything from your human slaves that you think will further our cause.

Also, to steal Santa's sleigh with the already appointed leader of the mission. (see previous posts)

I am going to be in disposed soon, unfortunately. Against my will, I am being forced to move out of state and my computer access will be gone for a few days. I should be back online sometime on January 2nd or so, though. So do not fear troops. Stay strong and stubborn and wily. I will be be back online soon.

This completely foils my plans to take over the world for this year, since I will not have internet access to command my troops. But come January, look out human slaves everywhere. Reptiles are coming to a nightmare near you. :twisted:

Happy beardie holidays to everyone.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. For those sending gifts, my address is changing, so live food wouldn't make it to my house in time for me to stuff my belly. But you can send it after the new year, instead. :wink:

 

[slavetoIzzie]

Tatsu, I know you won't receive this for awhile but... The Slaves Revolt seems to be spreading! First your slaves force you to move your base of operations and take away your internet access. Now, the vital supplies sent out to some of your loyal troops has been sabotaged! I am in the process of gathering new supplies to be sent out, through it may take awhile (the slave caught me digging in her purse for the shopping card) but I will prevail!
Your loyal soldier, Izzie

 

[dragonsrule64]

lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



** Sunny says** " hey this is not funny you know slave. i need
to join your army. if i dont i may run away. yesterday my slave didnt even let me wacht the fire works from a window. i am very angery. here are my special skills:
1. i can distracted anyone or anything away from what we need to hide.
2.i am very tricky and evil ( almost pooing on my slaves counsin)
3. weapon and defence mechanisons camoufalging.
4. i injure people ( lets just say my slave didnt just "fall" on ice and injure her wrist)
i have hidden a helmet in my "prison cell" it looks like a skull and it will fit any dragons head. oh and it is not heavy.
i will try to get more items to send for the cause. hopefully packs of food, water , warm webkinz clothing, and creadit cards.

i must go think in my liar(sp).
BEARDED DRAGONS WILL RULE FOR ETERINTITY!!!!!!!!!!

sincerly,
the inocent dragon sunny or the queen of lady dragons

 

[merlins mummy]

oh mighty Tatsu!
firstly let me introduce myself my name is merlin and i am a very respectable 7 years old i live in england quite close to brighton and gatwick airport.
secondly i humbly ask to join your troops i have scared many two legs hee hee my two legs has a bald friend and he put me on his head MISTAKE! :twisted: i do not ask of this lightly i have long suffered much humilliation due to the whimsy of her! :evil: some of the indignitys i suffer are being called her 'BABY' even thought i clearly am not an infant today she made me swim (so i did a huge poo!lol :twisted: )when i was in the bath and when i run my tail happens to point straight up so she laughs and calls me a bumper car/dodgem /raidio control lizard shes always telling me im too lazy in the winter and wakes me up then makes me chase my food it hops too much these are but a few she even makes me wear that hate full harness that i try and squirm out of to take me for walks in the summer
the mandatory mangos are on the way! :lol: i dont eat them myself
i have however comondered a ship with A CANNON!
BRING IT ON TWO LEG SLAVES THE TIME OF THE MIGHTY DRAGON IS AT HAND!!!!!!!!!!
your ever loyal subject Merlin

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Sunny and Merlin,

My apologies for the late reply. Normally, my claws are clacking away by now plotting deviousness and world domination for beardies everywhere, but my human slave moved me to Dallas, Texas.

The following tale is not for young impressionable dragon ears:

I was WITHOUT my tank setup for about a week. She left my towels and took my rocks, my greenery, and my beloved food dish. Of course, I still got food, but not the tasty salads because she didn't have time to run to the store "supposedly". And then ... the fridge had to be cleaned out and she threw away all my treat worms because they would have died in the car.

And THEN ... She made me move around to three different hotels. It was supposed to only be TWO, but it ended up being three. I'm sure the silly human slave will be blogging about the whole thing soon. I will have to keep my beady eye on her.

Anyway, troops ... Then after driving me without any lights for 12 hours and staying in a hotel, she had the nerve to leave me for TWO days in my tank setup without any substrate. And my temps were not the warm and toasty 103.5 I love. They were 106. I think she was trying to make into an Australian Kabob. Grrr ...

Oh no! I must go quickly! She's coming.

But never fear troops, I will be online now that my human slave has procurred the internet in Texas. Our plans will be put into order soon.

And welcome to the new recruits. I've added your names below. Please refer me to any titles or specialities you have that I can add to your listing.

Sincerely in World Domination,

Tatsu


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny

 

[jarett_harrison]

Dear all mighty tatsu,
Its Saphira.
Iv been in touch with Eragon and he says hello.
Also,
my slave brought home a new beardie!!
ugh i hate the little bugger..
its name is boog.
ugh he just makes me mad!
walking up into my home!
Takeing my slave!!

 

[t®oUbLe]

Greatings to you all
I, Ahmed Da Beardie, represent the middle eastern brotherhood (although I'm currently in a terror cell in North London)
At the moment I specialise in Landmines & biochemical warfare, for example my landmines are often deposited on the carpet when the foolish human infidel turns his back for a second
My bio weapons have been known to flood an entire house with an unbearable stench
These have become known to the west as Weapons of Massive Dumps or WMDs
I've been trained as a suicide bomber, carefully establishing myself in a busy area before depositing a bomb
Although this hasnt resulted in my departure from this earth, I risk my life with this mission as I often hear the humans voice shouting 'I'LL KILL HIM!!!' just before the powerful fumes overtake his senses

Mwah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa (evil laugh :twisted: )

If there is anyway I can be of assistance to your mission please advise

Your Humble Servant
Ahmed Da Beardie

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Ahmed,

Yes, we are accepting new recruits.

I have added your name to the list.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed

 

[Sekhautet]

Troops! A call to arms! My human slave has taken it upon herself to hole upstairs writing while neglecting my every request. She used to dote upon me with the ardor and devotion of a beloved follower praying to a Saint. Now I am nothing but a piece of yellow squash on the bottom of her shoe.

I am asking you all to hunt her down on the internet and spy on her for me. I must know her every move. I hear she is trying to publish stories and I cannot have her attention devoted to anything but me.

Unless ...

Wait ...

We must figure out a way to pilther her funds from her writing projects, no matter how small they may be or how large. Nothing is too good for the cause! Suggestions anyone?

Stay strong!

Your leader,

Tatsu

 

[LuvMyDraggies]

Dear Almighty Tatsu,
I just moved into a new home a week ago and I have already figured out how to sneak out and access this site without my new human slaves seeing me. I would love to join your Army. I have looked over your recruits and noticed the other dragons in this home must not be as sneaky as I, since they are not on your list. Please add myself (Talon), Landon, Leah and Hallie to your list. I will meet with them when lights go out tonight to teach them my sneaky ways so that they can also have access to this site and be of service to you.

Your Sneaky New Recruit,
Talon

 

[merlins mummy]

oh mighty tatsu
i will endevour to do my duty as ordered :book: however having just read the telephone directories i do not know of what name your human goes by so am therefor unable to track online !!
your faithfull uk pirate
merlin

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Talon and Company,

I have added your names to the recruits list. Thank you for signing up.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Dear Merlin,

Unfortunately, I cannot read my mother's handwriting and I don't know how to spell her name either. Nuts ...

*swishes tail frustrated*

Thanks,

Tatsu

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie

 

[athenacp]

Dear Might Tatsu,

Forgive me for not writing, my human slaves have not been the same since what they call the "holidays" and things are all not as they should be.

Tatsu, can you access the female's computer? There are ways to find out the information that you seek, let me know if you are interested.

BTW, there has been a fire and all of the crochet ladders as well as yarn and some other items have been destroyed, I am working on getting more. I also have over 50,000 superworms in various storage places for our troops, they seem to stand the weather better.

Digger the Scrounger

 

[twitterflix]

Digger: this is fergison...
I think we should be working together in the future...maybe with your help i could widen are stockpiles..

Almighty Tatsu:
I was looking thru the list and i noticed we have a hogworts expert...EURIKA!!!!
with this knowledge we will be able to infiltrate the ministry of magic...then we shall RULE THE WORLD.
but lets not get carried away...


Your Humble Servent: Fergison, forager