Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[jarett_harrison]

Dear Tatsu,

Thank you for my new position.
I will get as much info on these things as i can.
My slave hasnt taken me out in two days!
im so mad hes been so busy with Saphira and doesnt know what to do about a light.


_Eragon

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Recruits,

I watched Tin Man, the original SciFi series today. I have to say that I think the Mobats are promising allies. We should allign with them and locate them as quickly as possible.

I'm including the link for the show, so all my beardie buddies can watch:

http://www.scifi.com/tinman/

 

[Method]

Dear Tatsu,

Colossus here.

Our Slave has been ordering us large amounts of super worms. It is wonderful. I have grown a little and so has queenie in the last mouth. Cosmo has grown the most, I guess he was tire of being the little guy.. now he is .25 away from me... And to think I was born big. My Human Slave has been rocky since the passing of his family member. So we have been giving him an easier time then normal. But that will change, tonight we had our friend the dog name king break out of his cage while he was gone out tonight. The dog made a mess everywhere it was beautiful.

With in the last month our Human slave has recieved another female, she is older and pretty. She is 2 years old and 20 inches long... she would be good to join us. She said she would like to... please allow her to join... her name is Sweet Pea. Thanks mighty Tatsu...

Colossus signing off.

 

[melissajo29]

Tatsu Sir,

I've been debating joining your army for some time, and I've decided enough is enough and the time is now! I was feeling slightly guilty about revolting against my mommy and daddy because they did save me and fatten me up, but when you hear what they've done you'll understand. I have a beautiful woman living across the room from me whom i've been wooing with my fabulous displays of headbobbing for some time. I finally, after eating lots to gain a more attractive physique(she wouldn't give me the time of day for a while), won her over. We were out in the livingroom running around and we were about to, well.... you know, and mommy separated us! Ever since then, as the weather started changing, i've just been hanging around place and only eating enough to stay alive (thankfully, this has not effected my new shape, just my coloring seems to be duller). Then, they have the nerve to bring in another dragon! This one is funny looking though, it's smaller than us and has this extra skin around it's neck that it frills up when it gets mad. And just when i didn't think it could get any worse, they bring home this huge new beardie, also male, as some sort of competition! He's way bigger than me and I fear my love is falling for him now . I have woken up enough to display for him that I am the man of the house, in reply to which he politely waved back at me. But, as a comfortably heterosexual dragon, i must say he is stunning and i'm pretty sure Phebe will find him more attractive So, i've decided to assist in the revolt! If you accept me, I'll convince the others to join as well(I don't think Phebe will be too hard to convince, as she looked very disappointed when mommy pulled me off of her that day) I await your reply, Sir Tatsu

Curly, Master of the Head Bob

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Colossus and Sweet Pea,

I have added your new friend (Sweet Pea, I have added you to the list). Thank you for applying. We are nearing the end of the year and it is time to consider widespread action in holiday revolt. I cannot bear to see another dragon enslaved in a Santa hat. I will be in touch as soon as I have plans formulated. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to only eat my sweet potatoe from my salad and avoid the poisonous greens.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Dear Curly,

Much obliged that you are joining the cause. Sadly, I have no females living under my roof. I do have two surly males, though. One who is part of the revolution, and the other who I think is spying on me. That Mike ...

Please post the names of your beardie comrades, and I will add them as well.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. That really is quite horrible that you are losing your lovely girlfriend to a new dragon in the house. I would consider a bouquet of silkworm cocoon. It would be quite lovely and if you had the silkies wrapped up in a heartshaped box, I am sure that snack would do the trick. I have heard they are quite tasty, though I have been denied their flavor because my human slave says they are too much work to care for. :evil:


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira
80) Eragon (School Headmaster)
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea

 

[jarett_harrison]

Dear Mighty Tatsu,

Eragon would like to be taken off the list for he is going to a new home and wants to be able to get there with no strees added.
But as for me(Saphira)i'm going to start going to school so I can take Eragon's place and The school Coordinator.

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Saphira,

Eragon can stay on as an honorary member. He doesn't have to be taken off. And you can take over his post, as soon as you are ready.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[jarett_harrison]

I just stole my slaves cell.
I called Eragon and he is okay in his new home.
He says he already has plans for his slave!
And i'm ready to take Eragon's place.
Im glad he can stay on though.
He says he's going to be strong and deal with it even though he misses me and my slave.

-Saphira

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Saphira,

I have added your new title. Congratulations and best of luck to Eragon in his new home.
He is still on our list of recruits. He's paid his dues.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )

 

[melissajo29]

Tatsu sir, Curly reporting
I thank you for your acceptance and kind advice on my current love life dilema. I have no silkworms to speak of, mommy doesn't like them either as they spoil to quickly, which is fine with me-i don't eat them anyway. My love desires supers mostly, and mommy gives her those But worry not, i will win this in house battle when it comes down to it. Personality has to count for something, right? I've spoken with the others and they've agreed to join the cause! As the dominant male of the house, they shall bow to my headbob and do as i say! Their names:
Phebe (my love :love5: )
Boris (my competition)
and until mommy and daddy know if it's a boy or a girl
Frilly (I've not yet formed an opinion of this one)
We await further instruction on operation holiday revolt sir!
Curly (master of the head bob)

 

[Sekhautet]

Hello Curly,

I added your cohorts in crime to our list above. Since I just posted it twice yesterday, I refrained from repeating myself again.

A frilled dragon. I feel so honored.

I am still thinking on Operation Holiday, but I will be posting soon.

Keep your beady plotting eyes open.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[jarett_harrison]

Almighty Tatsu,

Saphira reporting.

Eragon likes his new home he says.
What are we doing for our holiday revolt?
Today I had one of those "childeren" over at my house!
My slave says its age to be four.
So it throws some little green lizard in my cage and man did it make me mad!
So I ate him.
But man was it good!
My slave is very upset because I may be impacted.




WOW!
We got a Frilled Dragon!
My slave has always wanted one of those.

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Saphira,

Keep tuned. I am almost finished fine-tuning my holiday revolt plans.

Til then, stay strong. And don't eat any lizards. Lizards are friends, not food.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[jarett_harrison]

okay but he was in my house!!!!
you would have ate him too.
hehe

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Troops,

I need volunteers for Operation Holiday.

Here is what I want us to accomplish.

1) Confiscate Santa's sleigh for the spoils and donate them to our cause


2) Unwrap all your scaly slaves' gifts under the tree. Pillage and steal what we can use for the cause.


3) On New Year's Eve, while all our slaves are busy partying and celebrating and stuffing their lazy butts, we make an attack. I think we should start overseas first.

Sincerely,

Tatsu