Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[jarett_harrison]

Tatsu,

I personally volinteer and so does Eragon.
I can open giftts in the middle of the night.

 

[slavetoIzzie]

Dear Tatsu, not only can I rip and tear (slave hasn't been able to clip my claws) but I have send a valuable package to some of our fellow soldiers to aid them in this plot. I will complete my part and merely await for my travel co-ordinates in order to join up with the rest of the Canadian conspirators.

 

[jarett_harrison]

I personally have two other beardies including Eragon.
His name is Phil.
He is my boyfreind and were going to get married in around 10 months.
But he might help me in our cause.
He's a big guy and VERY strong.
He should be able to fly a remot control helicopter my slave has but he refuses to let me fly it cuz "I'll get hurt.."yeah right!
I'v flown before.
He's just jelouse but im sure i can get phil to fly without permisstion.
Though I do have a car I get to ride around the house in.... :twisted:
hehe i torture my slaves master.(the female one they call "mom")

 

[spartinwoman300]

*Devilish look*
My Slaves use paper knives to open EVERYTHING. I am sure I could get my claws on some and figure out how they work... Plus, I have great tearing and ripping skills. Thoughs gifts don't have a chance in hell! MWAHAHHAHHWhHHHAHHA!!!!! Crap! They are coming, hopefully they are to stupid to find this post....

 

[melissajo29]

Tatsu sir,

So far I unfortunately cannot aid you in this mission. You see, I have no idea where to find that sneaky santa claus, so I can't get you his sleigh :x Second, it seems my slaves have been ignoring the fact that christmas is a week away (they've been building Boris and me a new mansion to dwell in-we'll each have our very own floor, it's wonderful). They have yet to purchase a tree let alone gifts! No doubt they'll be flailing around the house all week like a couple of *****s trying to get everything done in time. This will give us the perfect opportunity to strike! As soon as we can contribute, we'll spring into action!
Awaiting furthur commands,
Curly (Master of the Head Bob)

 

[Sekhautet]

Attention Troops,

I am putting together replies and more plans, but my human slave is in the process of packing. She is spending more and more time in the room with the computer packing boxes, so it is becoming less easy for me to sneak behind her back.

But never fear.

I will try to post again tomorrow.

Here she comes now.

Tatsu

 

[BlackCougar]

Dear Mr Tatsu

My slave treats me horriably, she feeds me veggies instead of crickets then she tells me no crix until I eat my greens oh the nerve I protest by not touching them until she feeds me my crix. I usually win when I flare out my beard in a threatening manner and open my mouth and hiss, she jumps up in fear and fetchs the crickets. I want worms, when was the last time she got me some? I can't remember. Oh she peeved me off this morning when she tapped on my glass until I woke up and gave her the evil eye as she smiles turning on my two lamps. I want to sleep, I want my privacy. The torchurer in this small building told her to make sure to keep me warm and from brumating too much or my immune system will go to hell. Well she can just forget what the torchurer said and just let me sleep. At night when I want attention she will just ignore me and continue to get ready to leave, don't know where she goes but I bet its therapy for the way I annoy her by glass dancing when she tries to sleep. When she takes me out I run for the balcony door but she never opens it and lets me out.

I want to join your army

Sincerely yours

Rocky

 

[BlackCougar]

Double post please delete

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Rocky,

I am adding your name to the army list of recruits. Because it is the holidays and I'm feeling generous, I will waive the standard food fee for joining our army.

Please let me know if you have any special skills or talents that could be optimally used to our best advantage. Then I can give you a special title in the army. Special Titles are given to any able recruit.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky

 

[BlackCougar]

Dear Mr Tastu

Thank you Mr Tastu My speciality is interrogating my query by torchure and acting annoying until they talk. Works everytime. I also know how to use knives.

Sincerely Rocky

 

[Reptilover]

Dear tatsu, sorry I have been not been in touch,fo an apology i have sent one hundred mangos to you place of residence to your lack. I would like to sign up for opration holiday, i have spoils ready for it alreasy, 2 planes, and 3 trains. Trains can carry us anywhere that are tracks we could send spplies on it. I would like to steal santas sleigh, ill take it when the fat one is eating the cookies(hell never notice the sleeping pills hehehehe) Ill you up and heel have the sleigh

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear tatsu, sorry I have been not been in touch,fo an apology i have sent one hundred mangos to you place of residence to your lack. I would like to sign up for opration holiday, i have spoils ready for it alreasy, 2 planes, and 3 trains. Trains can carry us anywhere that are tracks we could send spplies on it. I would like to steal santas sleigh, ill take it when the fat one is eating the cookies(hell never notice the sleeping pills hehehehe) Ill you up and heel have the sleigh

Thank you very much recruit for the generous donation of mangos. I am sending each army recruit a mango for the holidays to show my appreciation for all your hard work. Human slaves aren't the only ones who can enjoy fruit baskets. :wink:

I will put you in charge of Operation Sleigh, then. Begin drawing up plans and report back to me within 48 hours.

Also, recruits, I will need volunteers for this operation as well.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[redn3ckkittycat]

Dearest Tatsu :love5:
My slave has gotten sick, and so therefor in bed quite a bit :twisted: I have looked up this website for us. And it should be helpful for our operation sleigh! http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.htm . Sophia and I have been plotting on how it will best to escape to meet santa that night. Unfortuantly, my slave and her family haven't decoriated So hopefully he wont miss our house! I have already spoken with the one she calls 'the mutt' . She agreed to assist in operation 'sleigh'. Salute Sir Tatsu :love5: :love10:

Olie and Sophia :wave:

 

[jarett_harrison]

Philop would like to be added to our army.
He can fly helicopters and drive away from my slave!!
He can also drive a train which we plan to hide in when "he" comes and then sneak up on him!!

-Saphira/Eragon

 

[melissajo29]

Tatsu sir,
our slaves still have yet to decorate :x but i must say, our new beardie mansion is coming along quite well they've filled it with presents in lieu of a tree, so if i can figure out how to get up into it, we can start unwrapping and see if there's anything we can use for the revolt. we will wait until monday while they are at work so they will not have time to buy more gifts :twisted: i have been perking up some, groggily trying to snap out of winter nap mode. the hornworms they bought sure are helping 8) i'll wake from a sound sleep to eat those! i'm slightly upset though, it seems our frilled friend has taken a liking to them as well, so i have to share my stash with the little one :evil: i guess it's ok, as they save the biggest ones for me :wink: and the little one does need to grow. and now's the time to put Phebe into action with any plans to revolt-she's been awefully cranky (she's shedding). we'll let you know as soon as we've got something good....
until then,
Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
(and my accomplices Phebe, Boris and Frilly)