Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[thunderbrothers]

Chupe,

My human's ALWAYS on his computer, and I can't get on here very often. I missed your post.

humblest apologies...

Spike

 

[Keith Stoudt]

To answer your question yes I will start classes for all age bd's. We need to start young to obtain maximum skill, i myself started to learn at 4 months old :twisted:

Tatsu i thank you for allowing me and Agor to join in your noble quest. We will begin training imeadiatly, and if you ever need a ride we will be happy to oblige.

Dameon :twisted: and Agor :dontknow:

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Dameon and Agor,

Do you have access to a 1960s gray Bentley? I fancy those, as I am a debonair dragon, myself.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Rosebud]

Dear Tatsu,
We have won a small battle. As you will recall, we staged a poop revolt which backfired. Our bowels have been successfully trained to function only in the presence of water. She won that round. :evil:

We then went on a hunger strike, which prompted the slave to do deep soul searching, and subsequently collect all greens known to creatures, well, at least all the greens in the Kroger's produce isle. It also prompted her to order scores of waxies, silkies, and butters, which we have been feasting on until recently. We won that round. :twisted:

Now she has purchased crickets! How rude! She feeds us as we rightly deserve to be fed, being as we have a bit of royalty among us, and then offers CRICKETS???? rotest:

Princess Cassandra called for our most powerful weapon: Psychological warfare! :shock: We gave her the evil eye. :roll: We stopped eating. :silent: We slumped in corners, in our caves, on our logs, and we stared. :shock: We stared. :shock: We stared. :shock: She caved. She has begun HANDFEEDING US right where we sit!

But alas, Dear Tatsu, we have a dilemma. Our Sparky may be a traitor. We fear that he has developed an unwholesome desire for our slave!We caught him run across her belly, up her chest and LICK her face! Even Princess Cassandra does not know what to make of this besides offering a suspicion that is that whole captor/ prisoner love syndrome think. :dontknow: Any advice would be most appreciated.

We will write again soon with news of these developments.

PS Princess Cassandra to Izzy: "Izzy, darling, I have been catching up on my beauty rest as well, except when the torcherer rips me out of a sound sleep to bath! Well, I have to admit, I do like bathing. But this morning, she robbed me of a very nice dream that included a certain handsome naughty Cassanova and a bowl of supers. MMMMMMMMmmmmmm! :love5:

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Sparky,

If you are reading this, your friends and I are becoming quite worried about you. I think an intervention is in order. Human slaves are food givers and poop cleaners, NOT friends. Cease the licking of your human slave's face. I fear they may carry germs that make us weak to their charms. Something to do with their taste, akin to a drug in a poison frog's skin. They make us weak.

You MUST resist their advances, Sparky. You must ...

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Keith Stoudt]

Tatsu,

regret to inform that imeadiate access is not possible, i will work on the human to get one. As of now i can only steal the slaves Charger, Camaro, or Labaron as these are the ones kept at the house. Once i gain access to his other garage i will have a much greater abundance to offer. Agor has offered to push you on his bowling ball but this is a very in efficient means of transportation. Also any word on a forigen contact to open dojos?


Dameon :twisted: and Agor :dontknow:

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Agor,

Thank you for the use of your bowling ball. However, I fear that my handsome tail will become trapped underneath it. Perhaps, you should look into obtaining at least a bicycle, until you can obtain my Bentley.

If possible, I prefer a bicycle with a Mickey Mouse bell.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Rosebud]

Dear Tatsu,
I am ashamed! Yes, I seem to have developed a hopeless crush on my slave/captor, but I am trying to resist.

You see, when I first came here, I was on the brink of death, and looked like hell. She saved me. When I started feeling better, I noticed that I was an ONLY male among THREE HOT BABES! 8) (Barry White sings in the back ground . . .)

But alas, I was spurned by all three, because even though I am on the mend on the inside, they only see the outside, and I still LOOK like hell. Besides, theyre all pretty stuck up. :roll: They want german giants, and I'm just a regular guy . . . :x

And then there is the slave, the only female, well, female ANYTHING that pays me ANY attention. I tried, Mighty Tatsu, I tried to push aside my growing fondness for her, but to no use. I did. I licked her face, and I am ashamed to admit that today, I was overcome with an uncontrollable obsession with her feet (she has cute feet, even for a human) and I licked her foot!

Mighty Tatsu, I will do anything if only I could only be rid of this hopeless affection for the slave/captor. Please advise me!

 

[Method]

Dear Tatsu,

Colossus here. My allies and I would like to join your army. We are like a canadian force. We are still young, but we are getting big. I am 14 to 15 inches at 4 months. If my growing continues I shall be considered a great size. Of course nothing like you Mighty Tatsu. The Queen of our forces here in Montreal is also getting large she is almost my size at about 4 months old. Our oldest alley at 5 months is the smallest of the bunch but he has been growing since the month and half he has been here. He has grown about 4 inches in that time. He is now 12 1/2 inches. Our Queen here named Queenie has even enlisted a royal dog named King. Our Operations have consisted of almost completely moving the human slave out of his own chamber. He has a bed on the floor now. He seem to be under queenies spell. Queenie has order the royal dog named King to pee on the floors in the house to distract the slave long enough for use to browse the boards and see what the human slaves have been doing. I have noticed many of them have broken our LAWS. Mighty Tatus, are operations are going well we would have more stock pile of assorted foods if we didn't eat them all. But we need to... WE ARE GROWING. I have taken on the duties of being disruptive and black bearding and head bobing even when the human hand feeds me. Our smallest member cosmo who happens to be part germen giant has been taking intel and watching various shows to gather intel. Queenie has kept her spell on the human going. She has managed to get the human to order 2000 crickets and 10 hornworms. She also has sent him on a quest to search the lands for phoenix worms but of course the horrible human has failed. Now only if she can get the human to stop bathing us. And I fear he will be cutting nails soon. But have no fear Tatus I shall head bob him at every turn. I also would like to report that our intel agent yesterday suffered from what the humans call prolaspe. However he has seemed to fix it him self and he seems okay. Tatus... allow us to join in for domination. Our forces have gone well so far but we should be part of a larger network. I must go the human is coming... He must be done cleaning the doggy pee. Now it is my turn to leave him a present. The canadian Forces out.

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Colossus,

I am adding you to our list of allies. Welcome aboard. However, I am missing one of your Canadian allies' names. I have you and Queenie ... I need the third. Forgive me, but I am famished. Today was NOT a super day and I have only salad. My brain is a tad weak. But I will perservere. :twisted:

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Dear Sparky,

I suggest you watch Silence of the Lambs. And Saw. They will give you some ideas. And The Military Channel. And CSI too.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Method]

Dear Tatsu,

our third alley is Cosmo. He is a great intel agent. Infact as I type this he is gather intel now Shark now.

 

[Sekhautet]

Adding The Canadian Intel's names now. 8)

Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus

 

[slavetoIzzie]

Dear Tatsu, I have finally overcome the dreadful lethargy that has all but paralyzed me. While I know it will return, I am, for the moment, once more capable of terrorizing :twisted: the traitorous feline, Turtle. In addition, I drew blood from the slave (snickers with glee). Silly human, tried to handfeed me my worms and dropped it just as I grabbed for it. I caught the side of her finger and hee hee hee. It was so funny, watching her dance around. :twisted: :twisted:

Sparky, my young friend, I understand your dilemma. I remember your human from when my first love, Rose :love5: , resided with her. Like you, Rose was badly abused and near death when she was rescued by the human. Your slave tried so hard to save my Rose and was heartbroken when she failed While I can not condone a cross species romance it is acceptable to show favoritism for certain slaves. Just keep it in bounds and remember, you are young, strong and a warrior in Tatsu's Army. Belle and Trixie are practically your sisters :shock: and Sandy :love10: is my Princess!! Once we triumph over the humans, you'll have your pick of luscious, phat-tailed beardie babes :wink:

 

[El_Chupe]

Hah! CSI is great! It teaches how to NOT get caught!

It's a great tool. Those human people are so dumb teaching us how to eliminate them! HAH!

 

[Nanci]

On Sunday I, too, was able to overcome my lethargy. I had a fantastic breakfast of silkworms and was filled with energy. My slave bathed me, let me "run around" her room, (although what fun is it if I am not allowed to drop to the floor and hide in inaccessable places?) cuddled me, and finally took me outside, even though it wasn't sunny or warm. I of course froze like a statue while scanning the sky for birds. Since I refused to endanger myself and move, the slave eventually placed me on a pillow on the bench under the arbor. I feel confident there, but still like to drop off the side and run to safe cover. As I was edging over the side, the slave leaned over to stop me, and I rewarded her with a huge blackbeard and the site of my razor sharp teeth! Since she was so thrilled and frightened by this display, I repeated it for her so she could photograph me. She then used this picture to warn others how dangerous dragons could be when threatened! Unfortunately, one uninformed soul tried to convince her that only male dragons could blackbeard. The slave knew this wasn't true, but the man just wouldn't believe her until she took photos of my naughty bits and posted them on the Internet for the whole world to see! I was mortified. Yes, my breeder, seller and the vet were all correct as the photos demonstrated; I _am_ a female...Harumph. This procedure was so annoying that I hissed at the slave for making me undergo such indignities. She apologized profusely. I refused to eat dinner in retaliation.

Isabel the Wiley