You're right, it's the Gettysburg address. But if he could speak he'd probably say "I'm getting ready to shed, so get me in a
bath STAT!"
I used inexpensive slate tiles I got at Lowes for about half of the substrate, the rest is repticarpet. His 'podium' is a piece of shale picked up from the yard. It's great stuff, easy to clean but just soft enough to be able to knock off any sharp spots with a hammer.