Please help I need someone who understands

[Peeps]

My baby, peep was diagnosed with Gastric Neuroendocrine Carcinoma. I plan to put her down today. She does not seem to be in pain and is basking as I write this and I can't stop crying. I need someone who went through this. Finding out that their beardie had a malignant tumour. I've had her for 2 years and we did everything together. I will now have to come home to an empty tank and no one to cuddle with. I rally can't control myself right now. She means everything to me and I don't know what I'm going to do without her.. someone please just help me get through this, tell me your story I just need to know someone else out there loved their beardie as much as I did and lost them to cancer. Anyone who has lost a beardie knows that coming home to an empty tank is the WORST feeling there is. I lost one before her but this is worse. I did everything I could spent as much money as I could to help her..and in the end there's nothing I can do. I'm 18 and I don't care if this sounds stupid I loved her as a family member and so did evryome else. She was the sweetest little thing and anyone who met her fell in love with her. She loved to look outside and watch the trees and things fly by. I hope that's where she'll be when she passes running around outside eating plenty of superworms. She had a good life I know that but she's just so young... and what she had to go through was awful for both of us. I will never forget her, and I will have her ashes placed next to my other beardie who passed so they can play together wherever they are.

 

[AHBD]

I'm so sorry about Peeps, my heart breaks for you. This owner just lost their young dragon to cancer, here is the thread.

viewtopic.php?f=45&t=232995

 

[CooperDragon]

Reading this makes me very sad. I know exactly how you feel, both loving your dragon as part of your family and the helplessness of not having a treatment available to help them. I lost my first dragon, Cooper, to the exact same illness. From what I understand it was genetic and nothing could have been done. He was a very happy dragon and had a great life, although short. A little after his first birthday he started showing signs of gout on one of his hands. He got all the vet treatment and diagnostics needed and was treated with allopurinol and a reduced protein diet. His gout got a little worse but not awful and it didn't seem to affect him much. Then one day he was laying in his hammock with a jet black beard. Terrified I got him to the emergency vet where they did blood work. He died the next day. It was very sudden and he didn't show any signs of suffering until right at the end. When the blood work came back, the (now clear as day to me) telltale sign of insanely high blood glucose showed that he had Gastric Neuroendocrine Carcinoma and the gout was probably a side effect. I always wish I had known this beforehand but there wouldn't have been anything I could do. He was almost 3 when he died in march 2014. I was completely gutted to lose my buddy so suddenly and at such a young age. I buried him with his favorite things and planted a bush over him (just like his favorite one in the yard) and gave him a bottle of his namesake Cooper's Ale to enjoy in his bunker. It still makes me sad to think of losing him but he had a good life and now that a few years have passed I find myself focusing more on the good times like him riding the train around the Christmas Tree and how much he LOVED running through the tree. It gets easier to deal with the sadness after a while but it doesn't go away. I still talk to him and Dundee sometimes just like I did when they were around. The most effective thing I've done is to find this forum a few days after he died and share the knowledge and experience I gained from his life with others. Knowing that his life gave me knowledge to be able to help other dragons have a good life gives me great comfort and makes his life important. Everything I've done here is in his memory. As I've learned more (and continue to do so) on this forum I've been able to provide care to rescue dragons with special needs (Dundee and now Darwin) which is also a great joy. Cooper changed my life and in doing so has changed and hopefully improved the lives of many other dragons. I hope you are able to celebrate Peep's life in a similarly constructive way. Pursue whatever gives you comfort and honors her life. I hope hearing my story has helped you a bit. If you have any questions or wish to discuss anything please feel free to do so either here in your thread or via PM.

PS Coop was a magical dragon and pooped candy canes whenever he got time in the Christmas tree =)

 

[NBGwen]

So sorry about your Peeps

 

[Gormagon]

Yes, I understand what you're going through! It is a very hard and heart wrenching decision to make but, I did it so she couldn't suffer just like you are. It tore me up inside and, had this 58yo hardcase, crying like a baby (at work setting on a trackhoe). My wife took her to the vet while I was at work. They called to ask me what to do and, we made the choice reluctantly. It was a very heart breaking day for me.
I sat for two weeks looking at her empty home and, all the while tearing my heart out. That is when I found Peaches on craigslist and decided to take her in. Boy was I glad I did, Peaches will never replace Nazdoramou aka, "Naz" but we have a different relationship and, she filled that huge hole in my heart left by her passing!

 

[Peeps]

Thank you everyone so so much. I got a clay slabe with her handprints in it yesterday before I gave her up. I also will be recieving her ashes in a small wooden box which will be next to my other beardies ashes Bug who passed about 2 years ago. I really appreciate you sharing your story with me I came here for comfort and it's exactly what I got. Knowing I'm not alone and that other people went through the heartache just as I am. The hardest thing was coming home amd seeing all the lights off and an empty tank. I will get a new one eventually but until then I will continue to greive and remember the good times we had. Everyone on here is so caring and affectionate I really love this community and I'm using it to cope and it's helping a lot. Cooper your story made me tear up I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm so greatful that yoh decided to use the experience to help others. I plan to do the same I'm only 18 and I know more about them than a lot of people my age. They are beautiful creatures and I was so lucky to have one with a beautiful personality. I figure it would be good to explain the process of this happening to get it out there. Peep was a healthy happy dragon all the way up until the emd of february. Which was her year and a half mark just about. She had refused to eat and I had to slide things into her mouth but she was still happy and very active. After a couple weeks of the force feeding she was on my bed and I put a few worms out to see if she would take which I had been doing but she wouldnt. However this time she did and I was so so happy. This was the begining of March that she did this. After that day she never ate anything on her own again.. I would make her smoothies thinking maybe she just wasn't feeling well and she would lick it up. After March I was getting worried so I brought her to the vet. That alone was very costly and they gave her a physical and enema to see if she was blocked up. Nothing came of it. They sent me home with A few meds to treat parasites and a bacterial infection. They also provided critikal care which i gave 4 times a day everyday and she passed a huge poo. I was very happy because she hadn't been pooping just pee. I thought maybe this was what was causing her lack of appetite but I was wrong. I continued to syringe feed her critikal care for a month and a half. Towards the end she began losing a lot of weight and very much refused to eat anything just spitting it out. Earlier i brought her poo for a fecal and it was clean. After spending all that money my family was reluctant to get a blood test but i knew i had to i could see her withering away. The blood test came back a day after which was a few days ago and it said she was anemic and had an astronomically high glucose level. It then stated that meant she had a cancerous tumour. I lost it. I drove him balking my eyes out from my boyfriends house amd spent the rest of the night with her by my side. She slept next to me in my moon chair with a heated blanket to keep her comfy. I knew she wasn't herself every simce she stopped eating she used to lick me and snuggle everywhere she was still active but not like she usually was. It was heartbreaking to watch this happen to such a sweet dragon. I was thinking why does this happen to her she's the sweetest thing why her. She was put down yesterday and I've been crying ever since I'm currently sotting on my bed trying tk get a grip on my emotions. I called out of school and work yesterday to greive and had to stay at my boyfriends because i couldnt look at her empty cage. I got so depressed I needed to come home today. She used to help me when i got depressed about something in my life but she is now the reason i am which is why it is so hard for me. She was my best friend and always gave me something to look foward to after a bad day. I'm just glad she isnt suffering anymore or in pain because i could tell she was the past couple days before she was very pale and skinny and had her eyes closed a lot. I could feel the tumour under her belly and it really killed me to hand her over to the vet. I'm am artist and I plan to make some type of painting or drawing in her remembrance. I'm so thankful for all of you people who care so much and have helped me all the way up until this point amd continue to help. It means the world to me.

 

[Dianah]

I am so sorry you lost your baby! I have a 5 year old guy named Kermit. He's been a sick boy from time to time. A year ago my vet thought he might have cancer and awaiting testing was just awful.

If I lost him (and I will someday) I would be absolutely heartbroken.

Just know that you've given your baby a good life and much love.

Diana

 

[traildrifterphalanx]

Greetings Peeps,
I know you had reached out to me directly by PM as well, but I wanted to personally say my complete condolences as I know exactly what you're going through now that I've had some time to grieve. I know it's been a few days for you as well.

It's been a week since I lost Simon to cancer, and I honestly felt like I just wanted to die with her it hurt so badly. I felt like everything joyful in the world was gone, nothing else mattered. I had my other dragon, Richter, and even he didn't help, though he became my biggest support as I processed what happened. I purchased a new baby, and at the time I got her, I found it so hard to even care, but now I love her so much.

As mentioned, it's been a week now, and a lot of what I was feeling has settled down. I still well up with tears thinking about her, thinking about how I'd greet her in the morning, give her pets, sometimes give her a hug, and tell her I'd see her on lunch. I remember as she was dying trying to excite her with the window ledge she loved so much. I'm sorry I can't finish this thought. Moving on.

It's unfortunate that time is what ultimately heals, but don't let a day go by that you don't think of Peeps. From one mourning owner to another, I hope you heal fast.

 

[Peeps]

Thank you for sharing that was very touching to read. I still tear up if I really dig deel and think about the amazing times we had. I purchased a baby yesterday in gopes that caring for another will bring me joy and comfort knkwing I'm helping and that I will again have one beside me. I really hope this one doesn't get sick, it is my fourth. He/she is adorable and I love them it gives me something to look foward to again. I should be recieving peeps ashes soon and she will always be with me. It was very hard the first couple days but it settled down into a mild depression of sleeping and hopelessness but I feel purpose again and my little one makes me very happy to come home and take good care of him. I hope all works well woth your baby and they both live long healthy happy lives with you as their keeper

 

[CooperDragon]

I'm glad you found another dragon to care for. This will be a new journey and not a replacement for Peep. Based on my experience your new buddy will help give you focus and purpose and happiness. Will you start a new thread to share his adventures with us? You can set one up in Introductions or Photo Expressions so we can follow his progress going forward =).

 

[Peeps]

I would love to