Jace, Zy, Sorin, Ava, Nissa, & Koth -->Update 12-18 w/ Pics

Hello,
I'm relatively new to this website, though I have posted questions prior to this "blog." I fell in love with bearded dragons on a trip to Petco. I've always wanted a reptile and I have a dragon statue collection at home so it seemed perfect. Jace, however, was not my first beardie. My first beardie was one of the two smaller ones. The employees hadn't gotten around to putting on of the little ones up for adoption because he would have a seizure whenever he was picked up. They were pretty sure the one I had picked wasn't the seizure one. I bought him the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and am sad to say I returned him that following Monday. This one had seizures whenever he was put down. I knew, being a new owner, that it would be better for the both of us if I returned him to Petco and that was when I got Jace, the love of my life. On a side note, the two that suffered from seizures got adopted to loving homes where someone can take care of them . Anyways, on to my picture show.

This was my first night with Jace. He no longer has that cage - he is in a bigger one and on tiles instead.

The first week montage:

I loved the way he just dug a bed and curled up.

He was so little!

This is his new cage - the sand in the dig bowl has been replaced with flaxseed

My little poser

He loves climbing on my shirt and just hang

I loved the natural blue that came out - don't know how that happened

Again, his dig box before we changed it:

He loves my computer

That's it for now, but he's a very photogenic man so there will be more to follow.

 

[sweetiepie9]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ, HAVE A GREAT DAY

and don't let your grandpa get you down, he's old and he doesn't look at things the same way you do. It would have been nice if he'd at least wished you a good birthday, but you can't change him. Paul, though, thinks your birthday is a special day, so go with his flow

 

[Esther19]

Sending you great big hugs on your birthday, Liz. I turned 55 this year, and for some time, my birthday has been "just another day." Add that to the fact that your grandpa is male, and you've got the insensitivity that was so upsetting this morning. I would have cried, too. Reach out and grab all the happiness and joy you can from wherever it comes. You can still have a wonderful day. Happy birthday, dear.

 

[CherylLynn]

Happy Birthday Liz!

 

[zandi202]

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!

Waiting at the eye doctor for my exam that's behind by 15 min already.... Yay.

It's hard ignoring my grandpa because when I was a kid he and I were really close - a lot closer than I was with my grandma so it hirts a little more.

 

[CountofCasualty]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ!!

As for your grandfather, I agree with anyone else. Your birthday is very special-no matter your age! Don't let anyone get you do.

 

[zandi202]

Thanks, Jolene!

So remember my best friend who ditched me at the BigE with Paul's sister? Well, no happy birthday text or Facebook status. Thanks a lot best friend whose birthday is April 18th.

 

[zandi202]

My best friend finally wish me happy birthday! Yay!

Onto other news...

I'm getting depressed again, very depressed. It used to be I needed Paul around, but now I'm depressed around him as well and it sickens me. He tries so damn hard to get a smile out of me, to cheer me up, he bends over backwards for me and I have diddily squat to offer him. I just can't do what he asks of my. I know for my sake and his I should be able to move on, but I just can't. I want to just curl up and be miserable. Even when I had Jace out for play time I just couldn't. My poor babies must think I hate them or something.

My depression led up to my debate on whether or not to continue building the cages. I know I should, but they just aren't coming out how I hoped and I may or may not sell them. I feel like I should just because I've lost interest because they don't look as nice as I had hoped and imagined and I can't get myself motivated to do anything.

I hate myself for it, but it almost feels like I just want to be sad.

 

[CountofCasualty]

The only way to get yourself out of the rut is to force yourself to do something small each day...no matter what it is, aside from work or school. Either progressing with the cages, cleaning something, cooking something, going for a 5 minute walk. No matter how small or how hard it feels, you've got to muster yourself up to do something. Even if it feels like it's the smallest thing in the world.

As for the cages, keep progressing with them. In my experience, everything looks worse before it gets better, especially work in progresses. So keep trying! Even if they don't look as nice as you expected, they will love them, and you'll love them because you made them! Promise.

It'll be hard. It always is. I get like that more often where I would like to admit. I've had it where getting up out of bed feels impossible and I end up lying there for hours(once all the critters are fed). I know you can get through it though! And Paul will always stand by you.

 

[zandi202]

I'll try. It's hard with no free time until the night when stores are closed and the sun is down. I'm petrified of the dark.

I know, I guess it's just how they aren't perfect like I had hope, you know?

 

[CountofCasualty]

Ah! But that's the joy of making something by hand. Most of the time it doesn't turn out the way you want.

And I understand. With little time in the day, getting anything done it's next to impossible. Just keep trying!

 

[sweetiepie9]

Hi Liz, have you thought of going back onto anti-depressants? I know you mentioned that you took them once and felt better, Jolene's idea is great but sometimes you need some extra help & if they do work, they're worth taking. Just remember it's not personal, it's brain chemistry that's misfiring. So see if that helps, too. I really worry about you, sweet girl, you need to do whatever is necessary to get yourself back feeling better, k?

 

[Esther19]

I agree wholeheartedly with Deb. I absolutely think you have a chemical imbalance. I don't believe that what you are experiencing is within the normal range. Have you spoken to your counselor about medications? Is he aware that they were previously useful? You do not need to suffer like you are. And if you are for some reason trying to tough it out, please try to stop that.

I am so much better off with Celexa that it is scary to think of not having it. It is a seritonin re-uptake inhibitor. It allows the body to make better use of the seritonin it produces. Many people take seritonin for sleeping, as it is available over the counter. I don't worry about things as aggressively as I used to, and I am less inclined to depression. It doesn't make me feel medicated. It just takes the edge off.

Remember we are here for you and care about you very much.

 

[zandi202]

Jolene:

Yes, but I'm a perfectionist and have OCD tendencies with a lot of things, just no motivation to do anything about it like right - my room is a mess and it's driving me crazy, but I don't have the urge to finish it. Having two unfinished and not perfect vivs in the pool barn are driving me crazy, but again - no urge to finish it.

Yeah. Between work, school, homework, riding lessons, and baby care there isn't much time to get stuff. Though the only time I do have free time (at night) is typically when I get the most depressed and lethargic and even worse - sometimes have to force myself to play with my babies.



Deb:

I have, but whenever I have me meetings with my therapist something good has always happened by then and I feel better for that moment and forgot I was ever depressed. I did used to be on them, but didn't take them long enough/consistently enough for them to make a difference.

My intention isn't meant to worry you guys, and I'm sorry I do. I just feel like everyone on here listens more than my grandparents for example. Actually, Paul's mom is a better listener than my grandparents are, but I only see her once a week at most.

I'll try, especially since it's interfering with my leo loving. I got really really bad last night when none of the leos would eat and Koth was climbing all over my foot and mentioned to Paul maybe we should rehome them because they never eat for us and x, y, z and that we have no idea what we're doing. He shot it down and I feel so bad and guilty that the thought even came to mind.



Esther/b]

My therapist does know that I was on zoloft and that I stopped taking it. As mentioned before at the time I thought it was useful, but looking back it really didn't have the time to make as much of a difference as I thought it had. The only thing was no real suicidal thoughts not that I've had any of them since being off of it - promise!

I think I try to tough it out because my grandparents don't understand and think it's just me being needy and attention starved. When I first told my grandma I might be depressed she made some nasty remark I cannot remember.

Thanks Ester - thanks everyone!

 

[zandi202]

And to top off this oh so perfect morning Jace's basking bulb broke so I turned of his UVB and plugged in the CHE. Don't really have the $8 for a new bulb either. FML.

 

[KristineM]

Even though we've been texting since about 6:30 already I still feel compelled to let you know I'm here and love you, too. I agree with meds...though I'm also ON meds so...it's something I'd certainly suggest just knowing what they've done for me.

Finish the vivs. They'll be perfect for your babies. Nothing we do will feel perfect but to those babies...heck yes! Look at all the changes we made this weekend...and because I stress over things so much, I just want to put everything back the way it was. Thinking it "might" work for Batty but it's not working for me

I'm not super close but I'm by no means far. So I already told you, if you need me...I'll always be around. It would be evenings which I think is best for you anyway. Jeremy can hold the fort down. He's capable.

Keep your head up. The bulb blowing this morning, it stinks. You know how to handle it until it can be replaced though. So you've got that under control.

Maybe...thinking about yourself a little more than your Christmas list would help too Easier said than done, yes. I know. Worth saying though.

Love you so much. Just want to see you happy.