The War at Home * Victory! Freedom at last! *

Yes, hello, I am Huffmeister Grumpalot von Putz. Just call me 8) Huffy. I am currently reconnoitering my new territory, causing terror and mayhem as I go. I have so far conquered the living room, dining room and part of the kitchen. I have taken an oath of allegiance from the cat *GT* and have won several skirmishes with *Turtle* :roll: (stupid name for a cat). She seems to think her breath don't stink, but...Eeww!

My only loss so far, (and I haven't given up yet!) is the large black cold food storage device. I thought it was an easy win, only to discover it was boobytrapped with :shock: DUST BUNNIES! :evil: They held me hostage until being ransomed by the human female. WHO GAVE ME A BATH!!! But I will prevail, I shall show those cowardly balls of gick, I am a Dragon!! I am... Crap she's up, gotta go.

Today the house, tomorrow the garden!

 

[slavetoIzzie]

The lock-down continues. I have managed to finally sneak on here to keep you all informed of my situation. The humans have now added sleep deprivation to their catalogue of tortures. No matter how much I want to just grab a quiet snooze, they keep yanking me from my nice warm nest, plop me in a tub of water and demand a "poopy"! *"No sleepies until you poopy"* I just want to SLEEP! Leave me alone!

Then when they finally give up and return me to my home, they insist on making me bask instead of letting me curl back up and sleep. Blast it, human, I'm not hungry. Stop waving that green junk in front of my nose! Well, I'll have a worm, IF you insist. Now go away and let me get back to my nummy dream of My Nubile Nublet, holding wiggly goodies in her claws! *sighs with longing* Where was I? Oh yeah. Let me sleep!

 

[sweetiepie9]

I completely understand your dilema. even though our humans (there are 5 of us) tend to annoy us sometimes, they've become more sensitive to the change in the seasons. As a result, even though they still wake us up too early in the morning, at least once we've woken up and are worm, we're taken to our baths, then offered food. If we don't want to eat, the lights stay on, but we can snooze in our hides if we want. It took awhile to get these humans (they call themselves Mom and Dad) trained to realize that we are the ones who know what they need, that is why they are slaves. So we wish you luck, it takes awhile, most of us< King Lonzo, Princess Issy, Prince Rubio and Princess Angel have been here a year. Sweetie, our Queen, has been here for over 3 years, so she knows best. She has the human slaves the best trained. And she knows it, too. So all, in all, we've been good in our training sessions and we have had great results. So, Lord, the best we can say, is be a bit patient. After all it was difficult for your human female when she lost her cat, your friend also. So if you can be a bit more patient, you will see soon the results of your training and you will hopefully be albe to be with your young lady in your dreamworld. We all wish you the best of luck in your endevours, and hope to hear from you soon.

Your friend,
King Lonzo

 

[slavetoIzzie]

Lately, the female has been sneaking in and scooping me up for a *shudders with disgust* cuddle. Here I am peacefully snoozing, and I'm yanked out, wrapped up in a "blankie" and plopped on a reclining slave's chest. Now, it is comfy and warm, and makes a strangely soothing noise, BUT I am not happy! :evil:

Sooo, I have waited and plotted :study: for the right time to come, and it has, it has!!! Yesterday, while ensconced on her chest, I waited for her to relax and close her eyes. Then, with the speed and ferocity of a warrior, I attacked. I was victorious! Unfortunately, I also have the taste of human in my mouth It's even worse than when I bit her fingers, cause I didn't break the skin then. Do any of you fellow dragons have any advice on how to get the putrid taste off of my tongue? I have, at least, learned my lesson. " NO MATTER HOW MUCH PROVOCATION, NEVER BITE THE SLAVES ON THE FACE! " Not only do they taste bad, they gets so upset, it's pathetic! She actually had me feeling sorry for her, and I... I let her cuddle me on her lap.

 

[Jasper's Mom]

My friend,

I'm sorry to hear that you do not enjoy the taste of human. I myself have been cultivating a taste for them for the last few weeks. I often lick my slave's arm, especially in the crook of her elbow. It causes her to make a very strange noise. But since you do not enjoy the taste, I would suggest that you do not bite her again! Especially if her reaction weakens your resolve and causes you to allow yourself to be cuddled. Be strong!

Your friend,

Phineas

 

[sweetiepie9]

I agree with Phineas; we have become used to this "cuddling", it actually feels good sometimes. But just remember that you are a mighty warrior and must pick your battles. Biting the slave is never a good thing, you are right. As you do not like the taste, I would not recommend you do this again. There are other methods to get slaves attention that won't cause a bad taste in your mouth. I find a few worms and salad, and drinking in the bath, will eventually remove the taste in your mouth. So good luck!
Your friend
Lonzo

 

[slavetoIzzie]

Once again, I have successfully withheld my poops. I have held it in for a week and 2 days! And, just as I had hoped, the female broke down and made me my nummy homemade apple sauce. It was delicious (and effective), enabling me to have an enormous poop the next day. In addition to this, I have been allowed to freely roam the house. At long last, I am free once more! It feels so good to stretch out my legs, run flat out and fling myself up onto my fancy cave.

The male slave has finallyfinished my new den. It is lower to the floor, making my escapes much easier, and has a lovely cave to sleep in or bask on top of. I shall post pics of it as soon as the humans leave for my new batch of worms.

Drats, gotta go. Humans are coming!

 

[slavetoIzzie]

I'm not sure what's happening, but the slaves keep changing the furniture around. The female keeps fussing over my temperature and worrying if I'm warm enough, and the male has put a strange animal, called a "frog"in my tank. I have bobbed it into submission and now just ignore it. Also, they keep trying to tie a stupid scarf around my neck and take pictures. According to Turtle, this is an annual ritual that takes place on some holiday she calls Catmiss. She says that everyone of us gets nummies! My predecessor, Izzie, was given his favorite snacks and a special kind of worm, called a butter worm. Mmmmmmmmm! Have any of you heard of this Catmiss before? Personally, i think she's making it up, but the humans sure are acting funny!

Well, the female is stirring. I'd best get back and pretend I'm just waking up.

 

[Goonie]

Good morning! I hope this will work, I'm sending messages to my mommy's head and telling her what to type.

You are lucky that you only get a scarf tied around your neck. I have to wear a jacket and a hat! Last year mommy made me stand next to this scary old person that didn't move. I don't know who he was or why he just stood there with a scary grin on his face. It was very scary. But then she gave me the soft bunny to cuddle up to and it made me feel ok.

I had heard mommy say something like krismas before. I think that has something to do with the scary old man that I had to stand next to and the fuzzy jacket and hat. But I know that mommy gives me nice things and decorate my house all pretty for krismas.

Hugs,
Pookie

 

[caiteli]

OY! what is it with those humans and dogs, and worse, little boys! the humans here have one retarded dog, one evil boy and one normal dog. they also have the enimy of all beardies- the leopard gecko. i have not found any dust bunnies, but i have conquered the all mighty screen door. i have climed to the top, and beyond! all hale to the little girl here. she sees me on the screen, so she puts some saled into my mouth

 

[sweetiepie9]

Lonzo here; I've managed to keep my territory intact, except then the mom and dad bring storage boxes, put them in the middle of MY territory and expect me to be pleased about it. So I bob even more and really charge up the black beard. They seem suitably impressed but don't move the storage bins. So this is Xmas fault, the humans go crazy at this time of year. There are storage boxes in the closet and that's brought out to wrap presents. Then there's the cooking, you can smell lots of stuff, then there's the nummy treats. And soon the storage boxes and bins are gone again for another year. At lest they know I don't like stuff in my territory that I can't remove. I think. So I'm back on regular rounds because all this that happened last year hasn't happened yet this year, but I feel it growing close.
Lonzo, the General of the dragons.

 

[caiteli]

Oh, that sucks. my fam celebrates hanukah, and every year, (at least, during the 6 months i have been alive) they get a hanukah tree, and it stinks up the whole house! then, when they light candles, the house smells like it is on fire, and i get mad kuz of the false alarm.

 

[sara24354]

Hello all this is Alf and I am sending my "Mom" mind messages to type,she seems like an ok lady and has really worried about me lately,as I have not been feeling well. Her and my "Daddy take really good care of me and the house mates Gimli and Freckles. Gimli and I have learned to"enjoy" cuddle time and when held at bedtime we "snuggle" in with our "parents" to be wrapped in a blankie to go to sleep. We get lots of nummy things to eat,get play time and when weather permits we get to go on what "Mommy refers to as a car ride. I know great warriors don't like cuddles much,but some times they are fun and "Mom and Dad" are both warm people so we get absorb their warmth when we cuddle. Anyway I just wanted to say hello to everyone,I don't send Mom messages much, but wanted to tonight.

 

[Jake583]

Komez logging on,
My territory is in Tact, Today while I was patrolling my land and I made a shocking discovery! There is a horrible old creature towering over my Basking land. He has snow white strings on his face! *distubed noise* it reminds me of the freezing enemy that consums the land beond mine. I have given him my backest beard, my most powerful bobbing, and my most fisouse hiss! But no reaction! I say it is not from this earth!
Also be for I go I have heard much about this "Cissmass", I suspect it is a ritual of the humans that calls there leader, someone called "Samca". I will return with more information.
Komez logging out

 

[Jasper's Mom]

This Samca sounds like a mighty warrior. Perhaps he can be persuaded to fight with us against the hoomans? I checked all over the house but couldn't find any Samca's. I heard the food lady saying that she just doesn't have time to dekrate this year. Something about three spoiled brats she is looking after? I couldn't find them in my travels either.

Phineas

 

[sweetiepie9]

Lonzo here, Samcas, can't say I've heard about that human thing (I also send thoughts to the one called mom, she is very good at this puter thing that puts down words), and, of course, I was right. There are TWO BIG BLUE BOXES in MY territory. I knew this would happen, grumble..., but they are huge and too big for me to move. I have sent many thought messages to the one named dad as well as mom, but nothing has happened. I just don't understand it, as I can get mom to write my thoughts down here but humans don't hear my other pleas, they think I'm "cute"...grumble...I'm hoping this Xmas thing goes away soon. My biggest & blackest beard has had no effect, my bobbing either, so I've decided to have a sleep until this is over. Hopefully when I wake up my territory will be back to being mine and I can security check as I always do. I appreciate all your thoughts, I will return soon!
Lonzo