Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[beagle lover]

Puff113 and Daisy the Beagle here, we are still on our campaign to drive our slave nuts.

Personally I have not pooped in 4 days, I'm waiting for my spa bath and I won't till I get one. Daisy the Beagle has been barking at inappropriate times including at a gentleman walking in front of the slaves car the other day. She trys to startle them whenever possible and then pretend to be asleep the rest of the day to hear about any possible counter active actions.

I will remain loyal to the beardie cause. Puff out.

 

[StyxDragon4]

Good job, and yes you are your name and rank and number 115. i think, check on the little list and add your self on.

 

[bonsai.]

To All Beardies:

It is to my regret that I must tell you that one of your most faithful followers, Kip the Commander of All Things Strawberry, has passed over to the rainbow bridge in loyal service a few months ago.

Thank you all for supporting his mission and cause, and I am sure he looks over you all with kindness from up above.

- Bonsai

 

[landcatrut]

The cat is blocking my escape hatch. Over and out til I figure out how to distract the fuzz...

 

[duke11]

has anyone seen Tatsu lately?

 

[StyxDragon4]

I haven't seen him in a while . I wonder why.

 

[Ian13]

Ian 101 reporting for duty SIR!

My human was talking to me yesterday and said " Your going to the vet tomorrow". What is she talking about? I can never assume anything good to come out of those conversations. I fear that this may be something like a bath, a torture I must endure everyday. It is now "tomorrow" and I and clinging to my tree for dear life. I'll keep you posted on that.


Ian 101 over and out.

 

[melissajo29]

Curly reporting sir!
OK, now they've done it! my slaves have gone too far! they have taken my beauty away from me! :evil: i used to have a bird's eye view of my love, where i could headbob mercilessly at her all day long, and now, i cannot locate her. they moved my mansion to make room for that new big 'ol dinosaur-looking thing they call "frankie", and i can't find phebe anymore! i can now see the funny looking frill-headed one though-i still have yet to form an opinion of that one :? anyway, i'm awaiting commands for bwd 108 or whatever we're calling it because i'm fired up and ready for a fight! i tried poop bombing mommy, er, the female slave the other night, but she caught me and put me on the floor! :x all the while she's laughing because she was able to escape it :evil: please, let us know what's next
signed, Master of the HeadBob

 

[Spikeyismybaby]

Brothers and Sisters!!!!!!!

the day is here!!!!!!! when shall we revolt?!

 

[duke11]

No Tatsu? Still? Did something happen?

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Puff, Juno, Bobo, Elliott, and Charmander,

I am truly sorry for being away from my duties for so long, but my human slave took ill and I found it in my best interest to keep watch over her to make sure she survives to feed me, so I can keep my energies up for my troops and our cause.

I have added everyone to the list, but please let me know if I am missing any titles. Whew! I had a lot of reports to read when I got back on here.

Unfortunately, we missed our deadline for attack on The Ides of March. So we will have to set a new date for our next mobilization.

Stay strong and keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Tatsu's Recruits

1) Spike (Scientific Designer and Advisor/Foreign BD-Fu Dojo Coordinator)
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
]26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics and Second in Command of The Music Council)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry, who passed over The Rainbow Bridge in loyal service)
41) Draco
42) Mac Daddy G. Puffort (Head of Music Council)
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim
47) Fabio
48) Pete
49) Kahli
50) Sunny
51) Kira (Escape Artist Extraordinaire)
52) Sarge
53) Tydo
54) Kaiju
55) Bindi (The Hogwarts Correspondent, Leader of the Potter Magic Council)
56) Fallyn
57) Gigantor
58) Isabel the Wily (Official Musk Mare Wrangler)
59) Spike (A Female Beardie!)
60) Trixie
61) Sandy
62) Bella
63) Sparky
64) Dirk
65) Izzy
66) Chupes
67) Dameon (Master of BD-Fu and Coordinator of U.S. Dojos)
68) Agor (Dameon's Sidekick)
69) Queenie
70) Cosmo
71) Colossus
72) Bootsie (Internet Coordinator)
73) Foster
74) Waffle
75) Spike (Zelda's Spike)
76) Harlee
77) Zelda
78) Daliz
79) Saphira (The School Headmaster)
80) Eragon
81) Sophia
82) Olivair
83) Curly (Master of the Head Bob)
84) Sweet Pea
85) Phebe
86) Boris
87) Frilly (the frilled dragon )
88) Rocky
89) Merlin
90) Sunny
91) Ahmed
92) Talon
93) Landon
94) Leah
95) Hallie
96) Swatke
97) Tryxi (Master of Tricks)
98) Spazz
99) Aprhodite (Master of Spies)
100) Phoenix (Escape Extraordinaire)
101) Ian
102) Phoenix
103)Juno
104) Beardie (Communications Expert)
105) Duke
106) Dunklezahn (The Pet Rock With Legs)
107) Dante
108) Randal
109) Puff
110) Juno - Amphibious Assault Specialist
111) Bobo the Basset Hound
112) Elliott Claus (Master of Deception and Confusion)
113) Charmander

 

[Spikeyismybaby]

whew! i'm glad you and your human are ok. when shall the next attack date be, master tatsu?

bobo, master of puppy pouts over and out, SIR!

 

[duke11]

General Tatsu, this is Officer Duke 105 reporting here, sir. I was just wondering, with my human out of town and with the neighbor watching me every other day if we could possibly schedule the Ides of April? The first day in April on April Fools Day? Since we missed our Ides of March it might work well. Oh, and I heard of a secret stash of all things wormy, crickets for the young ones, and weapons at Enemy Camp? Maybe they are planning to attack us! We shall move onward! Beardie power shall prevail! As an undercover spy and officer I Officer Duke 105/Agent Duke Muchook, shall investigate this further.

Over and Out,
Officer Duke 105/Agent Duke Muchook

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Elliot Claus,

I have added your title and middle name.

Carry on ...

Tatsu


Dear Duke,

I am not sure there is an Ides of April officially and April Fool's is too soon for us to plan a complete and organized attack. Perhaps, we should set our sights on Mother's Day. A time when our human slaves would least expect a preemptive attack.

What does everyone else think?

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[duke11]

I like it sir! Sure Mother's Day will work! Sorry, never thought about all the planning.

-Officer Duke (Master Undercover Spy/Tactical Officer)