Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Goonie]

Tatsu,

Oh, ask me about my brother's eating habits :roll: He's literally been eating us out of a house. Just last night, the female human filled up our bowl with escarole and tried to get me to eat, because Felix ate almost the entire bowl earlier. I was in no mood to eat just then, so she began feeding Felix. Well, needless to say, he sat there and ate the entire bowl! What a pig! Then later on, he ate a bunch of strawberries too. His stomach was so huge that it looked like it was going to explode (at least that's what the human was saying).

I'll have to think of some tasks for my brother to get involved in. He truly has deviated from our cause. Maybe he needs a good vent kicking or something.

Oscar

 

[Tiamat4]

Dear Tatsu,

It is I, Snow requesting to join the ranks of your army that Draco has told me about. I feel that I would be a great asset. Though I am small (17inches) I have such a strong spirit. I also know how to ambush, strategize and attack. I practice it daily when ever the human, as to which we call mom, lets me out of my prison. I wait on a high perch for either Leo or Draco to come running by. When they do I jump from where ever I am and I start sparing with them. Yes, I know they are bigger than me and they usually walk away despite my attempts to show my strength but I have no fear.

Today the female human that tends to our every need attempted to feed us with Squash baby food. At first I was humiliated just due to the fact that it is called baby food. I am so tired of her calling me her baby. I was so tempted by its sweet aroma that I immediately started to attack the spoon getting it all over my nose and mouth. I was in heaven. The flavors I still savor upon my tongue. Then out of now where I get attacked by this paper like substance as it was removing the squash baby food that was all over my head. I started poof and black beard but she continued to wipe my chin removing the last of the savory substance that I was hoping to save for later.

I am just tired of it all. Then there is the issue with my housing. At first she removes me from my habitat that I shared with my love slave, Sunny to put me in this lonely prison. Then in my lonely prison the human “Momâ€

 

[Goonie]

Tatsu,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I must tell you the truth for I had been bad-mouthed for much too long.

Your so-called "Ground Rumbling Master" is nothing but a scaley chicken. All these years he'd portrayed himself as this tough beardie who had no fear, one who would fight anything that got in his way. Well, this may come as quite a sad confession, but he's not as tough and mean as he lets everyone to believe because he freaks out at the mere sight of more than two birds outside and would go running off and hide in the darkest corner he could find. He did this earlier this afternoon, twice! Then he begged to cuddle with "Mom" and acted like a big baby

.

But wait, it gets worse. Awhile ago, Mom bought us these two stuffed animals for us to "cuddle" with. Well, for some bizarre reason, Oscar has taken a liking to one of them. He's always hogging it by cuddling with it, falling asleep on top of it, and giving it kisses :roll: To make it even worse, he does all of this willingly and when there's people watching :shock:

Oh, the humiliation. I'm truly ashamed to be his brother :help:

Felix

 

[Sekhautet]

Snow, you have been added to the list. Thank you for joining the cause.

Sincerely,

Tatsu


Dear Felix,

Please hang in there. I know sibling rivalry is ruthless, but we need to stick together. Try to put aside your differences for our cause.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Latest List of Recruits

1) Spike
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry
41) Draco
42) Puff
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow

 

[Tiamat4]

Dear Tatsu,

Thank you!! You will not be disappointed!! My stepbrother Draco and i have been working hard in coming up with some ideas to further startle the humans.

-Snow

P.S. My other Stepbrother Leo has been working on an letter. The poor dragon has been put through more embarrassment than one can even fathom.

 

[Tiamat4]

My fellow Dragon Tatsu,

I have understood that my step brothers Draco and Snow has joined your army. Granted they say they are fed up with our human and have shared some of their sad stories with you, I have a sadder one…….sigh. My life has been an embarrassment since I have come into their care. Starting as a small little dragon I was thought to be a female, yes sadly you have read that correctly. They called me Cleo, short for Cleopatra. Draco constantly laughed at me as at the time I shared a home with him. So to show my dominance I started hogging the heat, the lights and the food. The human female did not like that very much due to the fact that Draco was her favorite and I was getting bigger than him. So she would remove Draco, feed him separately and added additional light and logs for him to use. We continued to comfortably share the 75 gallon tank. Draco continued to stick his tongue out, laughing at me especially when ever he heard them calling me Cleo. I was so embarrassed and would just run and hide every time they came to remove me from the tank. Draco then started to see this and would now bully me. He would puff out his beard at me, bobbing his head, swaying side to side. I would just go and avoid him. Thanks to the humans I became subservient to him. That is how I lived for 8 months. The constant calling me Cleo and lifting up my tail to see if I was still a she. I can not help that I am a late bloomer and that my humans were unsure of what they were looking for. My curse because of that was being humiliated and degraded. Then one day the female was quite startled as to what she found when she lifted my tail. I had a set and yes, it was a huge set. That was then the realized what I had to endure due to their stupidity. They scrambled to come up with a name that was not female. I was hoping for something manly and not like Cleo in anyway but I was sadly disappointed. They all decided to call me Leo as it was close to Cleo and would not confuse me. Draco was enjoying every minute of this. So thinking I was going to be able to escape the embarrassment I am still reminded of it when ever they call my name. I have been slowly rebuilding my self esteem and have been becoming extremely confident due to the counseling that I have been going to. This is just one of the experiences of my life that I have for there are so many more and I would be here forever sharing them with you all monopolizing the thread and I do not want to do that. So here is my request as I feel it is my turn to embarrass the humans to regain once more what they have taken from me. I can not do this without the support of your army. Please accept my request to be among the ranks.

Oh one more thing, could you please refer to me as Leo the great. I am much happier with that as it does not sound so feminine like Cleo.

Sincerely,

Leo the Great

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Leo the Great,

Your story makes me want to sharpen my claws on my human slave's furniture. You poor beardie. I am adding you to our list. Keep strong, my friend.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Latest List of Recruits

1) Spike
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry
41) Draco
42) Puff
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great

 

[bearded hope]

Dear Tatsu,

I to desire to become a part of your army. As I reach maturity, I am beginning to see the diabolical monotony in my daily life. I live in a cell with a stone floor and high walls, so devoid of any neurological entertainment I fear for my sanity!
I am small, to small still for any direct combat with the humans, but I have valuable information to share. Yesterday I escaped for the first time when my human left me to fill the water chamber of death. I found two books, one on dinosaurs, obviously a close relation of us. If we find any the humans don't stand a chance! the other on all the animals of the world. this could be valuable in choosing our allies.
unfortunately, my mission cost me dearly. I was held captive in the water chamber of death. I gave my human a "present" (that usually does the trick) but getting into their printed communications was unacceptable, so the chamber was refilled and I was forced to swim for my life on the cruel slippery floors. This has simply gone too far. You have set a fire of hope in an otherwise bleak life. In the words of Chester the cat "TODAY THE VEGETABLES, TOMORROW THE WORLD!"

Your humble servant
Manheim

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Manheim,

Ah, yes, the water torture. I find that if you play dead, it works effectively. They immediately remove you, if they think you are ill or fading. :wink:

I will add you to our army.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

Latest List of Recruits

1) Spike
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
1 Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
2 Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master
37) Yongee (Code name: Light Foot)
3 Deuce
39) Lord Dante Caius, (Master of Manipulation and Influential tactics)
40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry
41) Draco
42) Puff
43) Dino Dinkum
44) Snow
45) Leo the Great
46) Manheim

 

[Dasanipig]

40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry

ahahahahhahahha!! i literally cant breath im laughing so hard... how did that name come up!!

 

[athenacp]

Hail Tatsu,

I do not have much time, it is lightening and loud thunder outside but I wanted to let you know that I have stol...errr procured the following:

10,000 Superworms
50,000 butterworms
3 refridgerators
3 mobile tanks-now before everyone has a fit, this is for warming purposes, we cannot go in unless we get our blood up to optimum temps-they cannot be locked, they are on wheels that can be locked and have UVB in case there is no sun. There is also a small motor, but I am in the process of trying to figure out how to have it run quietly. Also one's substrate is sand, one substrate is tile and one so far has none, I need ideas how many more and what type of substrate is preferred.
100 cuddly towels as I am calling them, for those of us that would like to be in a towel (I do)

I have also conquered crochet, I am making ladders for those places that are very hard to climb to. I also have access to TNT, but am waiting for orders on that.

Please let me know what else everyone needs, as I will scrounge around.

Till later,
Digger the Scrounger

 

[Goonie]

Please let me know what else everyone needs, as I will scrounge around.

Some form of communication device would be helpful, like a cell phone or walkie-talkies. Then again, PDAs would probably serve us better because we'll need to know the day of the week and be able to plan ahead.

If that's ok with you, Tatsu.

Oscar
(Still the Ground Rumbling Master)

 

[Sekhautet]

Please let me know what else everyone needs, as I will scrounge around.

Some form of communication device would be helpful, like a cell phone or walkie-talkies. Then again, PDAs would probably serve us better because we'll need to know the day of the week and be able to plan ahead.

If that's ok with you, Tatsu.

Oscar
(Still the Ground Rumbling Master)

Yes, yes. Walkie talkies would be more reliable, I think.

A good suggestion.

I prefer one in blue.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[bonsai.]

40) Kip (Commander of All Things Strawberry

ahahahahhahahha!! i literally cant breath im laughing so hard... how did that name come up!!

How dare you mock me! :x
In all respect, though, strawberries are my loyal subjects, and so is everything else relating to strawberries. End of story.

- Kip

 

[Sekhautet]

Hail Tatsu,

I do not have much time, it is lightening and loud thunder outside but I wanted to let you know that I have stol...errr procured the following:

10,000 Superworms
50,000 butterworms
3 refridgerators
3 mobile tanks-now before everyone has a fit, this is for warming purposes, we cannot go in unless we get our blood up to optimum temps-they cannot be locked, they are on wheels that can be locked and have UVB in case there is no sun. There is also a small motor, but I am in the process of trying to figure out how to have it run quietly. Also one's substrate is sand, one substrate is tile and one so far has none, I need ideas how many more and what type of substrate is preferred.
100 cuddly towels as I am calling them, for those of us that would like to be in a towel (I do)

I have also conquered crochet, I am making ladders for those places that are very hard to climb to. I also have access to TNT, but am waiting for orders on that.

Please let me know what else everyone needs, as I will scrounge around.

Till later,
Digger the Scrounger

Dear Digger,

Your progress is remarkable. I had forgotten about crochet. My human slave has a mess of yarn she is not using, scraps from projects, in her closet. If you send me your address, I will see that they find their way to you. Ladders are great. I would like one in blue.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. All those worm lists are making me hungry.