Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Goonie]

Dear gmallon,
I have a total of 100,000 superworms right now in a nice low cabinet on wheels that can be towed though I think a motor would be better. How many would you need to keep you in the meantime until I get a list of who needs what?

How about some juice? We'll need to be properly hydrated in order to keep up with the mission. I love apple juice - it's super yummy.

Felix

You computer hog - move over so I can respond too *pushes Felix off the keyboard*

I'm not sure how many supers I would be able to inhale at this moment *drools* Maybe a stock of 50 to tie me over until our order comes in, whenever that will be :roll:

Oscar

 

[athenacp]

Dear Oscar,

I'll send a 100 as I have forgotten you share your current home.

Dear Felix,

Apple sounds good, I will take a trek to the Acme tonight and see what sizes wqould be best to procur (I am leaning towards the smaller bottles, easier for us to open) :twisted:

 

[bonsai.]

Digger,

Would it be possible for you to provide me with some extra provisions? I plan on educating some fellow dragons trapped in pet stores about the army. a little bit of bribery never hurt, has it?

Here are the current needed supplies:

Fifty (50) waxworms
Thirty (30) butterworms
Twenty-five (25) superworms
Three hundred (300) crickets
Twenty (20) strawberries, cut into bite sized pieces
Twenty (20) blueberries
Twenty (20) leaves of collard greens
Ten (10) carrots, chopped finely

Thank you for providing what is desperately needed.

- Kip

 

[twitterflix]

Digger:

I have thought of some things to add to our provisions list.

Horn Worms
Endive
Blackberrys
Phoenix Worms
Mint Leaves
Peppers
Grape Juice
Mountain Dew (only for extreme energy missions)

 

[Goonie]

Mountain Dew (only for extreme energy missions)

More like kamakazee missions :laughhard:

Oscar

 

[Sekhautet]

Mountain Dew (only for extreme energy missions)

More like kamakazee missions :laughhard:

Oscar

Dear Digger,

Please add Starbucks Java Chip to the list of things needed in this category, as well as green tea, Dr. Pepper, root beer, and Coke and Pepsi, and beer.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[Goonie]

Ooo Ooo Ooo - how about bean dip? I looooove the smell of bean dip; never got to taste it though because "Mom" was too keen on my next move and caught me in mid flight to the platter.

The after shock of eating bean dip could be used as a stink screen for a quick getaway.

Felix
*drools from the thought of bean dip*

 

[athenacp]

Ok folks, will be making a trek to the 24 hour acme tonight, keep em coming, I'll be free to go after 11Pm EST, so think hard.

 

[Goonie]

Does anyone out there know how to use a sewing machine? We should find someone who has knowledge of sewing and have that "person" start making replicas of each of us. This way, when we do make our ultimate getaway, the humans would think that we're still sitting happily in our tanks.

Decoys baby! :twisted: :twisted:

Oscar

 

[athenacp]

Heheheheh :twisted: I do :twisted: And I also have learned to loom knit, not easy, but after I learned to crochet it was getting easier

 

[twitterflix]

I know how to sew and i have a sewing machine availible to me. I figure Knotting would be quit helpful too in our cause.

 

[athenacp]

Fergison:

If you wish to do the sewing, that would be helpful as I am a tad busy right now, I think I may have an aide to our cause.

More on this later

The Scrounger

 

[twitterflix]

Scrounger:

Sure i can help you with anything you might ask. But i cant do too much seeing that im working on the stockpile as well.

Fergison

 

[bonsai.]

Does anyone out there know how to use a sewing machine? We should find someone who has knowledge of sewing and have that "person" start making replicas of each of us. This way, when we do make our ultimate getaway, the humans would think that we're still sitting happily in our tanks.

Decoys baby! :twisted: :twisted:

Oscar

Oscar,

After reading this post, I was intrigued by the idea of "decoys" and did a bit of research. Perhaps we could do an Alcatraz-Frank Morris- Decoy type of escape. You can read about it here: http://www.alcatrazhistory.com/rs5.htm

Hope it is helpful.

Kip

 

[Goonie]

Oscar,

After reading this post, I was intrigued by the idea of "decoys" and did a bit of research. Perhaps we could do an Alcatraz-Frank Morris- Decoy type of escape. You can read about it here: http://www.alcatrazhistory.com/rs5.htm

Hope it is helpful.

Kip

Kip,

Very interesting article. Now I know why "Mom" won't allow me to watch the History Channel anymore :x

I probably could get my hands on a stockpile of soap, and possibly even some art supplies for the color effects. I know where all these things are stored. I'll have to create a diversion and run like mad to this room and the linen closet, then take inventory of the necessities.

Will keep all updated.

Oscar