My old king is dying: What do I do?

[PogonaTrainerAISP]

Oh Rocket the coveted, the 10 year old bearded dragon...has been battling a growth on his vent for nearly 2 years, now.

I have posted here before about the issues, and I have taken him to a vet. He gave me an antibiotic to help him rid of a possible foreign agent causing the presumed "abscess". It helped his respiratory issues, but not this strange thing on his vent.

So we turned to a harsher reality that it was cancer. It grew in size without a doubt, and we think it has caused numerous problems. It has affected his eating patterns, excretion patterns (significantly), weight, and activity. He tries to poop but cannot...he has never been a frequent pooper his whole life, but he is now worse.

We cannot afford a surgery for the growth. He is too old, there is a mortality rate, and the surgery may still deform his vent area. I feel that there are much more costs both for us and Rocket than benefits if we were to do the surgery.

We are stuck, we are stumped. There is only one answer: euthanization. Curse my emotional being that I cannot bring myself to this solution, it only brings more questions. Rocket is a very, very dedicated soul. He has overcome obstacles you could not ever imagine...like being lost in the woods and suffering severe respiratory attacks years ago. I question if he wants me to let him give up, I know he is not the kind that gives up...at all. I question what he wants me to do. I say that when I look into his eye and wait for a response, I will be his warden and servant, but he just gets up.

What am I to do? Am I at fault? I am at fault...I didn't solve the problem in time...however, the problems stated previously still apply for he was 8 years old when the problem commenced. But factoring age into the excuse seems irresponsible...

How do I relieve of his suffering? There is a blur in the stables of options I can choose. How do I feed him? He is reluctant but, submitting to worry, I have skipped too many feedings. He is pale now, and only started to become this way the last 3-4 days. He has "the eyes" too (every experienced bearded dragon owner should know what I'm talking about). He still breathes and moves periodically. Like I said, he has been in all these states in the past 3-4 days. Now, I just wait for some deus ex machina - some magical outcome. Rocket's worried, overwhelmed, and penitent servant out. Images will be posted soon.

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I have a ReptiSun 10.0 tube UVB light and a basking light...the clever creature avoids it so he doesn't have to poop...alas. He has had ReptiCarpet for the past 5 years. There are no sources of impaction in his tank. I used to feed him superworms, but now I have to feed him vegetables and fruits like romaine lettuce. He eats collard greens too, but not anymore. I have fed him parslet lately, but he hates it. He no longer eats by himself...

 

[Esther19]

I am sorry you and Rocket are in this position. If you made the bath water a little warmer and deeper than usual it might convince him go potty in the bath, which may be easier for him. You could feed him baby food turkey and squash through a syringe, as well as hydrate him that way. This may make him more comfortable while you both decide what comes next.

With his eyes looking like they do, and his breathing slowing, Rocket may have made his decision. He may be waiting for your blessing to go.

Feeling unwarranted guilt over a sick dragon is almost universally common. Nothing you did or didn't do has caused this. I will be sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I am keenly aware of the position in which you find yourself. Please let us know how you both are doing.

 

[PogonaTrainerAISP]

Thank you so much, Esther. What do you mean by "waiting for the blessing"? Do you truly think he wants to...give up? Aaa this interpretation of it is harsh, maybe...but theres too little we know about animals and what they want. Thank you for your suggestions, it seems you are just saying that we should buckle up and make ourselves comfortable. Although I'm worried a bath will stress him out...he isn't a fan of them and tightens up in them.

 

[Esther19]

I believe that humans and pets alike are capable of holding off their passing a bit until their loved ones let them know that it is okay to cross over; to give their permission, so to speak.

You and Rocket know best what to do. I'm not telling you to give up, by any means. Fight as long as Rocket wants to, and maybe just a bit more. You can do it together, just like you have been.

I understood that surgery was not an option, which would be my choice as well. If he tightens up in the bath, that is not an answer for easing his potty stress. Canned pumpkin (without spices)can be mixed with a bit of water and a couple drops of veg. oil and fed to encourage a bowel movement if he continues to have difficulty. You can put greens in the blender with water or water/gatorade, strain them, and give him the juice through a syringe. They call this a slurry.You could also add some critical care protein powder to the mix. My dragons like it and it provides nutrition and hydration.

I'm trying to help you with options to assist Rocket should he want to continue the fight or to help you accept that he is ready to go, if in fact he is. Only the two of you will know the answer to that question.

I watched my girl begin to fail and considered euthanasia. Long story short, I decided I could not do that. Others can, and make very humane decisions for their beloved pets. In her last month, Cissy and I had many talks. It was a while before I told her she could go when she was ready. She seemed more peaceful after that. I prayed almost constantly in the back of my mind that she would go peacefully in her sleep, which she did. Over the last week, her eyes began to do that thing, and she opened them less and less. Due to her health issues we spent over 4 years being together 24 hours a day. This is a very personal time you and Rocket are experiencing and every situation is unique. I'm just a mushy old dragon lady whom some would say is much too anthropomorphic. You will know what is right. The hard part for me was waiting for that answer as to what was right. Hopefully, other folks will jump in to help with Rocket.

 

[CooperDragon]

I agree with the idea of trying to syringe feed him. I've had good luck with squash, green bean, and sweet potato baby food. Drop a little on his nose and see if you can get him to lick it up. It will give him some nutrition and hydration which may help him feel better.

 

[PogonaTrainerAISP]

Will do. Thanks to all. I will be sending images when I come back home at 3:00 PM EST.

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

I do remember Rocket & am sorry that you are at this place in his journey.
I agree with Esther, you will be able to know if he is ready to go, he will let you know.
Baby food is always a great alternative for him, maybe he would really like it also.
What type of topical ointments/treatments have you tried on that area? Just wondering if you had tried anything on it or not.
He is a special dragon & if you are in tune with him, he will feel it. They are very sensitive & he will pick up on your emotions. I feel for you, this is never an easy thing to go through. I will be thinking about you & Rocket through this time.

Tracie

 

[Esther19]

How is Rocket feeling?