I just try to help & it can be frustrating at times.

[KairaandTaz08]

Ok, sorry for this post, but it's so frustrating when you try to offer simple suggestions, nicely and get a "slap in the face" for your suggestions.
I am always nice about my posts! I try to help and openly admit when I do not know exactly what to do, tell them who to ask, or give the basic knowledge to people!!!!!!!!! I'm not talking about new owners, either. I mean owners who have "experience" and are asking for help. I ALWAYS offer my advice in a non-attacking manner, anyways.
I know certain things are viewed differently by everyone, but I think we can all agree on the correct UVB, heating/lighting, dangerous veggies and feeders, and basic care. AND I don't mind if they have a different opinion, I just let them know what I, personally, would or would not do.
I'm tired of some posters seeing that I have a 6 month old beardie and a 4 month old beardie and assuming I have absolutely no experience. I have been through so much with my two already and have done so much research, asked for so much help, have received so much knowledge (though, if I don't know something, I TELL the poster that I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE SO WAIT UNTIL SOMEBODY WHO DOES KNOW for sure confirms what I say). It's frustrating to be seen as unexperienced after spending hours going through posts, "bumping" them up, PMing somebody who can offer advice. I've even gone as far as searching for answers (spending my own time, that I could be doing something and not trying to help) all over the site and internet to confirm what I say.
Just had to get that out, whew!
Sorry again, but it gets to the point where I get so frustrated when someone "experienced" feels the need to say that they "wanted advice from someone who had experience with such and such situation" (which BTW, I did have experience with that particular situation ) or something similar to that, that I just about get tired of offering advice, when there are so many that truly need and want the help! So, please, if you have "experience" and are not open to ANY other opinions than your own, be nice about it or say you've worked with beardies for years, but just don't know about this particular thing.
Abi

 

[sunkist]

I think the thing to remember and I know what post you are talking about. Is maybe in the very beginning put, "from my experience, XYZ".

That's what I try to do and I also put that others may have differing opinion but this is how I handle things.

HUGS though!

 

[KairaandTaz08]

That's all I'm asking. And I think I do the same when I try to help. If anyone has read my posts/knows me, please let me know if I have ever been rude or demanding or offending or anything of the sort, please, please, please tell me.

Hugs back
Abi

 

[sunkist]

Just went back and reread it... keep in mind my philosophy is "seek first to understand".

I think if you had given a "background" of what you had experienced with your beardies, then asked the questions and gave the advice, it would have had more merit with what you were stating. I think that's why the OP person would have been more open to all you were saying. I don't think it had anything to do with what you said, just they didn't have your background of information.

If you read alot of my stuff about baths, I state very openly that I lost a beardie early from dehydration so I push for baths daily with mine - so I state what happened and then what I do to counteract it.

I am not saying I'm right, you are wrong or what you wrote was wrong, just saying, backstory might help!

 

[KairaandTaz08]

Just went back and reread it... keep in mind my philosophy is "seek first to understand".

I think if you had given a "background" of what you had experienced with your beardies, then asked the questions and gave the advice, it would have had more merit with what you were stating. I think that's why the OP person would have been more open to all you were saying. I don't think it had anything to do with what you said, just they didn't have your background of information.

If you read alot of my stuff about baths, I state very openly that I lost a beardie early from dehydration so I push for baths daily with mine - so I state what happened and then what I do to counteract it.

I am not saying I'm right, you are wrong or what you wrote was wrong, just saying, backstory might help!

You're right, though. I probably should have just said, "Kaira and Taz have had such and such problems" and gone from there. (Where you talking about a specific post? this post? or just in general? Please don't say which post if it's a different one. :? )
After really thinking about everything, though & receiving your response (a good thing ), I don't think I should be responding to posts, really. If I don't know the specific problem/know the answer, I shouldn't offer advice at all. From now on, I think I'll "keep to myself" or simply PM someone that will be able to help or give them the screen names of people that can help.
Don't get me wrong, I want to help & have helped a few people, but I'm not a vet and not as experienced as some. So, I shouldn't be giving out any advice, then.
I don't think I'm wrong when I simply say, "I don't know the answer, but answering these questions may help those who do."
Other than that, I think I'll just keep quiet. Or is that wrong of me? lol..I don't know.
Anyways, sorry for the point-less post :? .
Abi

 

[sunkist]

I think it is wrong of you because you do have some good advice. I just think backing it up with what you have experienced gives it more credibility if that makes sense.

Everyone on this site has something to offer. Do some know more than others... SURE... but you do know. I've seen posts get views after views but no responses. It's okay to give advice.

 

[KairaandTaz08]

You're right, I needed to give some background. Thanks for the PM .
Abi

 

[wingeddrgn]

I just wanted to say that I appreciate all replies to any posts I make. I have experience with having dragons myself but I always appreciate someone elses views..I usually post when I need help or advice and it is always welcome... I think this is a wonderful website and I am glad I found it. I enjoy reading all the posts.

 

[fresnowitte]

I understand all that you 2 are saying, Abi I have to agree with Sunkist.

For instance substrate is always a touchy topic (hate going there but I can't help myself) so rather than suggesting to anyone I always try to explain to the OP that I too used a particle substrate......... an all of the problems I had due to it. As well as the differences I've seen in my beardies due to changing to a non particle substrate and the problems that have been eliminated. So far I've not had anyone get angry at me (which surprises me sometimes :lol: ) for my suggestion because I am sharing my experience first.
(So they are listening) :idea:
What the OP does with my experience is on them, I did my best to encourage change by sharing my experience.

On top of looking up the answers to people questions try linking them to the answer as well this will confirm your answers. Again what is done with your helpful suggestions/answers are up to them.
You've done your part. :wink:
Don't let it get to you to bad (shake it off) like water off a ducks back, at least you tried.
You know what you know and what you don't know :wink: ... I read your posts an you always let it be known if it's something your not sure about but they might want to look into.

(((HUGS)))

 

[KairaandTaz08]

Thank you both for letting me know that I wasn't going about things the right way & I agree wingeddrgn, I love this site. I needed to know that I wasn't putting things in the best way and/or backing up my post with my own experiences, research, discussions, etc. I appreciate that you both told me the truth lol and understand what you mean.

Don't let it get to you to bad (shake it off) like water off a ducks back, at least you tried.

I love that! :lol:
Anyways, sorry about the thread & thank you,
Abi

 

[Ethelia]

Im sure no one thinks less of you for trying to help.
I know that I appriciate any responces to my problems, even if its not a perfect answer, it just helps to keep the ball rolling.

Dont be discoraged. Everyone is here to help.

 

[dolphinsilversea01]

I don't know what particular post you are talking about, but in my opinion that fact doesn't matter. I have posted some questions to only get one or two answers and like 60+ views. This is kinda of saddening you know, it just seems sometimes that some don't care to give your question time. I do the same thing though... I will scan topics and if I have a an opinion that I feel is worth posting then I will post a reply, but although my knowledge has come along way, I would still consider myself a beginner to intermediate and I am defintely not an expert! So, sometimes I just plain don't have an answer. I do think it is good to leave a response of any type if you feel it in your head and heart. I personally love all responses and answers. No, I may not agree or go with what they suggest, but I love and appreciate that they took the time out to read my issues and respond.

Point - I think you shouldn't deny yourself, or us of sharing your personal experiences, suggestions, and opinions.

 

[dolphinsilversea01]

I don't know what particular post you are talking about, but in my opinion that fact doesn't matter. I have posted some questions to only get one or two answers and like 60+ views. This is kinda of saddening you know, it just seems sometimes that some don't care to give your question time. I do the same thing though... I will scan topics and if I have a an opinion that I feel is worth posting then I will post a reply, but although my knowledge has come along way, I would still consider myself a beginner to intermediate and I am defintely not an expert! So, sometimes I just plain don't have an answer. I do think it is good to leave a response of any type if you feel it in your head and heart. I personally love all responses and answers. No, I may not agree or go with what they suggest, but I love and appreciate that they took the time out to read my issues and respond.

Point - I think you shouldn't deny yourself, or us of sharing your personal experiences, suggestions, and opinions.