It is very sad for me to watch Phoenix try to find her daddy. She sees him on the tv and hears him on the surround sound. So when he talks to her, she starts looking everywhere and even smiles. She has even leaped off of me and onto the tv once and I must admit that it brought me to tears.
My Abby does the same thing. She races in here to the sound of his voice and looks around and gets really sad when she can't find him. It is what really made me realize that our family isn't complete without him here. My babies fall apart because they miss him so much.
Titan eats... sort of. He is thin but not scary thin. He ate that helping of worms for me while I was drugged up, in pain and crying tears of sadness and frustration because I don't want to lose him. I was so happy that he did that for me. Before that, he would eat one or two worms a day while Phoenix would eat 7-14 of them. Today I took him outside in the play pen and he seemed to enjoy himself. Then I gave him a big helping of babyfood and sadly forced him to drink some pedialyte in his warm
bath. I snuck in a little bit of olive oil and no sooner did he swallow it, did a healthy poo come racing out. I really am fighting to get him fat and healthy. It just seems to be such a struggle. I wonder if he even likes me sometimes, but then he wiggles his butt in my neck and takes a nap with me. It has just been harder for me since my surgery. I really hope that I can do more for him soon. I just need him to keep doing good.
I have another 4 months before Scott comes home on leave. He'll be home for a month, then he's off again. Of course, I won't get a month off from work and hopefully I can beg my boss into giving me two weeks off so that I can go down to Louisiana to see him then bring him back home with me for a week because I'm selfish and I want my alone time. Besides, my babies need their daddy.
I miss all of you very much and I wished that I didn't have to disappear when I did, but I had so much going on. New house, adjusting to seeing my brand new husband only on my computer at specific times, getting out of the military, surgery and the other things that go on in life to remind you that you are alive and life is certainly a rollercoaster. I hope to talk to you all soon.