Arguing with my Dragon.

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Saphira will not Poo in his house unless he absolutely has to. However, he will also not Poo where I would like him either. This is the argument I had with me Dragon today.
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Phira: <Running back and forth in front of the glass> Hooman! Hooman! I has to Poo!
Me: <Pauses Netflix and rolls off the bed> Oh does my little Dragon has to Poo? You jus so cute Jes juo is. Jes jou is!
Phira: Are you kidding me?! I am Lord Saphira Adonis! Defender of sacred House of Minimum! Eater of Crickets! Climber of Curtains! Rider of Poodles! Heir to the Dragon Kingdom of Down Under! You will address me with respect Hooman!
Me: <Opens door to cage picks up Saphira and places him on paper towels> Okay go poo.
Phira: I don't wanna poo here!
Me: Well that's where I want you to poo.
Phira: No! I wanna poo... out there! <Begins to run for the open bedroom door>
Me: Nope. <Shuts bedroom door. Saphira runs head first into it.>
Phira: <Gives death glare> How dare you Hooman!
Me: You have to poo right here. <Points at paper towels>
Phira: No! I poo where I wants! Like... over here! <Runs towards clean cloths needing to be hung up.>
Me: You little Sh*t! No! You poo here! <Scoops up Dragon and places him back on Paper Towels.>
Phira: When I learn to breath fire I'm going to crispy cream you Hooman!
Me: Just go Poo right here. Then we can go set in the sun.
Phira: Okay...
Me:Thank you. <turns away>
Phira: Hahahahahahaha! I poo! <Runs under bed.>
Me: Nooooo! <Reaches hand under bed desperately trying to grab the speedy dragon! Phira shoots out the other side near the computer desk!>
Phira: I poo here!
Me. K.
Phira: Seriously Hooman! I will poo right here!
Me: Go for it. I can't stop you.
Phira: <looks at Hooman funny> I will.
Me: Okay
Phira: FINE! <Squats down, shakes his little hind end lifts his tail> No stopping me now! <poo> hahahahahaha! <Runs away>
Me: <Walks over and picks up poo on a pile of napkins left over from fast food lunch> Hahahahahaha!
Phira: I hate you! Love me! <Runs and climbs up Hoomans legs to shoulder>
Me: Jou so Cute Jes jou is!
 
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