JessPets":1e6eknww said:
Okay, chill. We were just trying to HELP. If you don't want it, don't ask. None of us were trying to intentionally hurt you, we just wanted to make sure Izzy was still getting the best care possible! Next time (instead of cussing us out), maybe you could simply explain the situation. Getting mad doesn't help anyone.
...Apparently reading on a cell phone makes me inherently 3x more likely to be irritated; reading all the replies on a desktop while sitting down triggered me a lot less for whatever reason. O-o
jayce82's reply is what sparked most of my anger; I basically read it in a very sarcastic tone, and i still feel it was meant to be. The "just cause you can't do your job" comment was was extremely infuriating, as if i haven't been trying for quite some time. Then that anger bled into the other comments as i read them, the "sounds like my ex" comment made it sound like I was like some awful boyfriend trying to get rid of his girlfriend by being dismissive about some menial problem and looking for an easy way out.
I wasn't exactly happy with your first response but it didn't hit me that hard, as it wasn't insinuating I was already caring for her badly or haven't tried.
Then the admin. They responded to me,
publicly on the thread, to warn me about inappropriate language, singling me out for it threateningly while lightly slapping the wrist of those who said derogatory things, effectively enabling that kind of behavior. I was the person that felt he was being judged, defending myself and very angry that my efforts in my care of Izzy was being belittled, was being berated over strong language. Strong language is a greater offense than someone being personally attacked, huh? Yeah, they mentioned the comments, but the main goal was obviously to single out my behavior.
That set me ablaze.
If it was done in a note or something, I would have accepted that a bit better.
Anyway, i know i heavily misjudged some replies. I apologize for that and my misguided rage.
HOWEVER, maybe there should be an effort by the members to make sure they aren't assuming the worst about a caretaker here. Ask questions. Instead of saying "please don't desert it" or "don't stop caring for it," ask "who are you looking to take care of it" or "is it eating ok?" Things not so durn diddly disrespectful. (as unintentional and in the best intentions as it may be, it still is disrespectful when people say things like what was said to me) Another thing you guys could do is
look at a member's past posts and how long they have been here to give yourself insight on the current topic. This isn't a very active place, so a quick gander won't hurt.
Now with all that out of the way, I did want help. I wanted to know if there were members here, those that obviously care for their beardies and reptiles, that were in my vicinity. That way i would know that if i put her on the for sale section there would be some sort of chance to find someone. I am a frugal person, and i do not like to waste effort or money.
"are you going to discard her if you don't find someone here because you're cheap?" <---(likely awful assumption type response question that's common here)
No you ninny, how dare you. I'll keep her until i find the right person and after i checked them out thoroughly.
ANYWAY, i still don't want to give her up, I just want her to be even MORE healthy and happy, and she just won't help me help her. So i need help to help her. When i said "we don't care much about each other" it's more that i'm fed up with her stubbornness and independence and she just has
very little interest in being around me, but she's not aggressive toward me or anything.
Sorry for the wall of text, folks. I thought i should do some clarifying and venting.