When is it time to let go? :(

[Scrammy]

I'm having a very hard time making this decision. Kirby is a 2 year old male orange trans get hypo half German giant boy. When he S healthy he was a big boy.. Over 500 grams and still growing. He was a , very alert and active boy. Last fall he stopped eating. I syringe fed him.. But he started to lose weight. For a while he would at least eat wax worms on his own.. I finally took him to the vet in may. He did blood work and found high eosinophils which indicate a virus. We couldn't do a fecal because he has only pooped a few times since last fall. He told me we could treat for parasites and hope his appetite will pick up but it's just supportive care from here out. Kirby was down to 420 gms at that visit.

I bought some of that rescue calorie stuff.. The paste.. And started giving him that.. But he usually threw up quite a bit of it. I hated forcing his mouth open. I bought some tolterazil (name?) and treated him for parasites.. Also have him probiotics with those treatments.

He has gotten so much worse.. He is skin and bones. He is down to 300 or less gms. Often has a black beards and sleeps most of the time. I offer greens, roaches, supers, waxes... I think he may have eaten a few here and there.. I have him some repti boost mixed with calcium, vitamins, and some pangea apricot crestie powder and honey for flavor yesterday. He seemed to like that.

I just keep hoping he will like something I give him enough to start putting weight back on.. But i don't want to see him suffer anymore either. I just dont want to give up on him when there was a possibility I could have gotten him back to a healthy weight and eating again.

I'm so sad.. Is there anything else I can do? When is it just time to let go?

He is in a 40 gallon breeder, reptisun tube uv, basking bulbs very cuz they keep burning out.. This one is clear 150 watts... Shelf liner for substrate..

My other beardie is in the same set up and she is almost 700 grams fatty.. And eats like pig... So she is not affected by whatever it is.

 

[Scrammy]

I just weighed him he is 317 gms of skin and bones. He actually bit me and drew blood. This boy has never ever done anything like that. He is just laying there sleeping.. He has no energy. I am in tears. He was my buddy. My vet isn't in today and no other vet will see me. I think i will have to call in sick to work tomorrow and take him in to be put to sleep. I just can't see him suffer anymore. I feel like such a failure. This will be the second one i have had to have euthanized. First one due to impaction. I feel like I didn't try hard enough. He hated being syringe feed so I didn't do it as much as I should have. I could have prevented such quick weight loss.

I am going to sell Darla and get out of dragons. I don't think i can do this anymore. If anyone is interested in a big fat orange rtb female.. Get in touch. Otherwise i will post on other fb forums.

Heartbroken

 

[AHBD]

Hi Scrammy....I'm very sorry to hear this sad situation. I can understand why you are heart broken....and why you are contemplating euthanasia. Don't blame yourself, you say that you tried the nutrition supplement and he was throwing it up ...that was all you could do in his condition if the vet didn't have a treatment plan other than that, and no one expects a healthy dragon to deteriorate .

Maybe since he liked the Pangea apricot food with honey you might see if he can keep that down and maybe give it another day or two to see if he shows any interest in eating more of it. Other than that, your decision may be the right one. I'm truly sorry, my heart goes out to you.

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

I am so sorry to hear about Kirby. I know that is so devastating.
Did the vet know what type of virus he has, Adeno or something else?
Would you happen to have a copy of the most recent blood test I could look over, does he have kidney or liver issues?
The supplemental food with the apricot & honey sounds good. Have you tried colloidal silvers & bee pollen also?
It sounds like you have really made a huge effort.

Tracie

 

[Scrammy]

The vet didn't say what kind of virus. He just told me he had elevated eosinophils that are indicative of a virus. I couldn't get a stool sample to test because he hadnt pooped in months.
I think i made a big mistake using The toltrazil.. I think it made him worse. I don't know anything about the colloidal silver or bee pollen. Could that help? I have him the apricot and honey mixture again. He hasn't vomited.. But he is laying at the back of his enclosure listless. He has been pooping little yellow mucousy stuff.. Very small amount.

I made an appt for tomorrow. I just dont want him to suffer but I don't know if I'm giving up on him too soon :-(

This was Kirby on may 23rd at the vet



This is him today

 

[Scrammy]

I take that back. He did vomit quite a bit of what I have him... :'(

 

[SaraSaraSahara]

I am going to sell Darla and get out of dragons. I don't think i can do this anymore. If anyone is interested in a big fat orange rtb female.. Get in touch. Otherwise i will post on other fb forums.

Heartbroken

Are you sure you wanna do that? Don't do something stupid and then regret it 2 weeks later; it sounds like you're in a very vulnerable position right now, which means you're more likely to make rash decisions. I think you should keep Darla until you've gone through the proper stages of grieving, and then see if you still think it's too much for you to take.

As far as your other beardie, it really does sound like it's time to just let him go. If this is something that's been going on for a while, then I doubt it's gonna get much better. If he can't manage to keep anything down, then I think that's a good indicator that his "natural" time is almost here anyways. Might as well save him a bit o' pain and put him to sleep.

 

[Esther19]

Oh, Sweetie, poor Kirby looks miserable. How awful for you both to have had him go through this decline.
Deciding when to let go is a very personal experience, which is different for everyone. What is common to all is the heart-breaking, gut-wrenching mess of it all.

It is pretty plain that chances are he will not recover. This might sound crazy, but I would ask Kirby if he was ready to go, and take the sign he gives you. You might also tell him that it's okay for him to let go; that you're ready.

In any event, I would give him as much snuggle time as possible, and try to keep him hydrated.

My insides are screaming on your behalf. You and Kirby will decide what is right. Trust that, then don't second-guess yourself. We are all here for you, and will support any decision you feel is right.

 

[Brezzy99]

What a difficult decision. What Esther said is some of the best advice I have heard. You have done so much for Kirby and he has been fighting for some time. My thoughts are with you and Kirby.

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

Oh my, Kirby has lost quite a bit in a short amount of time.
It sounds like his kidneys are having trouble, based on the type of color of stool, or possibly his liver.
The only other thing would be to start him on a fluid therapy in case his kidneys are having trouble. Those are the only other ideas I have, but he does look like he does not feel well at all & he is very dehydrated.
It is extremely hard to watch him decline like that. You could try getting him to the vets for analysis & hydration. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, it is heart breaking.
Definitely give him extra cuddling time & he will let you know when it's time & if he's in pain.
The colloidal silvers are helpful for killing & treating virus' & the bee pollen can help with his immune system, too.
Let us know how he is doing.

Tracie

 

[Scrammy]

Thank you for all of your support. It means a lot. I took Kirby to the vet, her said he had high white blood cells and high lymphocytes.. Not eosinophils. He said the only way to know what virus would be more blood work. We could rehydrate him and continue force feeds and likely get him perked up and feeling better.. But it would only be supportive and he would eventually go through this again.

Everytime i asked Kirby if he was ready to go.. He would lift his head and come towards me.. That was the only time he would really move. That broke my heart.

But i just cant watch him suffer anymore or put him through more blood work, an IV in his bone for Fluids another harsh parasite need and more force feedings... Just do I can have him around longer. I just couldn't do it. So i signed the papers and had him euthanized.

I'm heart broken and so sad. I still dont know if I made the right choice.. I still feel like I could have done a better job helping him feel better. I feel like I let him down.

I miss him :'(

REST IN PEACE my beautiful sweet silly little buddy

 

[AHBD]

I'm so, so sorry.....I know this was gut wrenching for you. We who have lost pest in a tragic way know the big, unrelenting pain and the " what if's ". It's normal to feel that way, so try not to be hard on yourself...you gave him peace from his suffering. I think you did the right thing. All my heartfelt sympathy to you.

 

[Brezzy99]

Kirby let you know he was ready. You did everything possible to get him better. The decision you made was difficult, but Kirby is no longer in pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Esther19]

I am so sorry that you both had to go through this. But Kirby is feeling better now. Try not to second-guess yourself, though I know it's not easy.

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

Oh I am so sorry you lost Kirby. I know that is so horribly devastating for you. Kirby isn't in pain anymore & he will always be with you.
Try not to blame yourself, it sounds like you did everything you could for him.

Tracie