Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Spikeyismybaby]

Bobo again. I am reporting the torture I have just inflicted on my humans. When the police car came by, I started howling at the top of my lungs. They can't stand it! Ahh...if feels good to be able to torture them while they think I'm innocent. Also, there is a mini dachshund I live with. Her name is Molly. Although she is very loyal to the humans, I think I might be able to persuade her. She is fast and intelligent so if she joins, she could work to our advantage. I can also sniff out where the humans have been and touched. I don't know if that will help us out yet though. Just tell me what to sniff and steal and it will be done.

Your loyal recruit hound
Bobo

 

[StyxDragon4]

Excellent, also are there any beardies in your house hold? If so, are they in the army? If not what is their name? HAve him/her talk to us and we'll add him/her on.
Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No. 97, BDTO-111.
Over and Out. SIR!

 

[tiffykins]

General Tatsu,

My name is Juno, I am a Amphibious Assault Specialist trained in the art of attacking and fighting from land or sea. I am hoping to join your army and put an end to the slaves rule. I am ready to pledge my forces to our cause.

My unit includes:
3 Canines- 1 ankle biter version
1 calf biter version
1 neck biting version
All three trained in the art of gaseous warfare.

1 indoor feline- expert in spying on the slaves.
1 feral feline- messenger between indoor felines and the feral barbarian hoard outside.
12 feral felines- masters in the art of covert operations.

2 rats showing great potential in the fields of deception and escape.

1 tail whipping, finger biting, Black&White Argentine Tegu- who I think will be a great ally when he reaches his adult size.

And last but not least 1 Ball Python- master at silently sneaking around.

I can also bring phoenix worms and lobster roaches to the table for any recruit that needs them.

I feel that I may be able to get my human slaves to become part of our forces since they take care of all my needs and wants, I even sleep in their bed.

Respectfully,
Juno the Amphibious Assault Specialist

 

[dragondebs]

sir! don't know my finall recruit number yet sir! i would like to be Master of Deception and Confusion. i want to be a spy,! sir! i want to be in their heads, i want to be like a lizard on the wall. i have been practicing looking like food to the cats. they spend a lot of time spying on me for the humans. what else could it be? they are always watching. but in reality, sir! i am luring them into my web of deciet so as to get them comfortable. then i strike!! i've found really quick movement catches them off guard. (they think i'm sleeping, but they dont' see my other eye watching!!)
i have not given up complete hope the dog, who they call dante, will be of some help to me. he also seems to be stuck here as well. they cats come and go tho....
new recruit elliott, practicing the art of decieving and confusion since dec '07

 

[StyxDragon4]

Elliott, Master of Deception and Confusion.NO 108-111. Of the three new recruits. Tatsu will post a list with your names on them to ensure you know your No.

Your name with be,
Elliott, Master of Deception and Confusion, Recruit No. 108-111<depending on what one he posts you as>, BDTO-111.<Operation number changes when there are new recruits.

 

[StyxDragon4]

Juno, The Amphibious Assult Specialist,Recruit No. 112, BDTO-112.
Tatsu, we have four new recruits.

Titles are as shown.

Elliott, Master of Deception and Confusion, Bobo, Charmander, and Juno, Amphibious Assult Specialist. SIR!

Elliott, Master of Deception and Confusion, Recruit No.109
Bobo, Recruit No. 110
Charmander, Recruit No. 111
Juno, Amphibious Assult Specialist, Recruit No. 112.

SIR! I hope they will be accepted, They are probably numbered as prewritten.

Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No. 97, BDTO-112.

P.S. Put BDTO<and however many people are in the army with a dash before it.>
BDTO-112.

 

[beagle lover]

General Tatsu, Sir! My name is Puff, no relation to the Professor Puff that I am aware of. I would like to also join in your efforts against the humans. I frequently worry my slave by not eating or saving up my bowel movements for a few days just to put her off guard. I have bitten her once and I have on occasion huffed at her. I have a beagle who has excellent tracking ability I could also enlist if you like, her name is Daisy, my human is not very creative with the names. She pretends to spend her whole day sleeping but is actually an ace in recognizance. I look forward to the upcoming battle, which is less then 2 weeks away!! Right now I'm refusing to eat the greens given to me and am only taking in protein to build my strength. Just say the word and I'm on your side!

 

[StyxDragon4]

That will be 113 recruits now. You are Puff, Recruit No. 113, BDTO-113.

Tatsu, we have another recruit and possibly another beagle. So that makes 113.

Over and Out. SIR!
Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No. 97, BDTO-113.

 

[duke11]

Duke 105 here sir! Just wanted to let you know I have successfully escaped from my tank and stolen all my human's waxworms and collards! Updates soon.

Duke 105

 

[ameleigh]

Mighty Tatsu,

Kelekona here requesting admission to the army as a scout. I am very quick, agile, have sharp claws to rend my enemies, am sneaky (my momma-er female slave has started calling me ninja in recognition of this) and am talented at recovering food items. I can offer a few superworms you crave (she does not feed me these often ), these other worms that apparently look like overly large maggots (so says one of the slave's roommates), crickets, and roaches once my colony gets up to speed. I also am knowledgeable of where one medical supply stash is in my house. I also may be able to bring two canines into collaboration with us. It will be hard as the slave refuses to allow them in her-err my room though the larger one (Onyok) occasionally sneaks down to visit me when his slave is talking with mine. Should you chose to allow me to join my scouting missions should be successfully hidden from my slave as she has a "job" and something called "school".

A curious side note-I think my slave has a slave of her own! I believe he is a male like the "roommate" who takes no interest in me. It is much bigger than my slave and has no cushy pillows like mine and the other who is Onyok's. I get left in my cage generally when this one is present though I am checked on every so often. Has anyone else run into this slave-of-slave type? Are they dangerous?

Hail The Takeover!!
Kelekona

 

[duke11]

General Tatsu sir, this is Duke 105 reporting sir. I was just wondering. I'd like to volunteer to be a tactical officer and undercover spy. Let me know what you think, sir.

This is Duke 105 saying "over and out sir"

 

[Spikeyismybaby]

Excellent, also are there any beardies in your house hold? If so, are they in the army? If not what is their name? HAve him/her talk to us and we'll add him/her on.
Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No. 97, BDTO-111.
Over and Out. SIR!

Unfortunately Tryxi, I had befriended my slave's beardie but he passed away a few weeks ago. He stopped eating and when my slave took him to the vet, he was diagnosed with liver failure and so she put him down. She seems to be recovering from the loss very well though.

For the upcoming war, may I request the name Bobo-innocent pout specialist/spy dog? I am training at every chance I get. This afternoon, my slave(who is 13/the youngest but taller than the older female slave) and I were wrestling. When she got up to leave, I tackled her down!

However, Molly, the dachshund, will not be joining our army. She is not considered young and she also has asthma. What a loss. She is an excellent sniffer and controls the whole neighborhood, yorkies and german shepherds! She is also too loyal to our slave. Ughh...some females(no offense to those in our army)!!

 

[StyxDragon4]

Kelekona, Recruit No. 114, BDTO-114.
Thank you for joining our ranks.

Tatsu our new dragons, and beagle, are as listed

Elliott, Master of Deception and Confusion Recruit No. 109,
Bobo, Recruit No.110,
Charmander, Recruit No. 111,
Juno, Amphibious Assult Specialist, and his unit<all will be known by their names and Recruit No. 112>,
Puff, Recruit No.113,
Kelekona, Recruit No. 114.
SIR!
Hurry, post them on the list with their number and rank, so I don't have to keep trck of them.

 

[duke11]

Duke 105 reporting here sir, just wondering where you've been all this time. Haven't seen you on the forums lately sir. So, General Tatsu, how bout those promotions? (tactical officer and undercover spy) By the way, just got the collard greens, turnip greens, and mustard greens from SECTOR 5 (heh, starting to call rooms in my house by sector).

SIR YES SIR!!!!!!!!!!!! *gives sharp salute*

Officer Duke 105

 

[3bds]

Hail, Great Liege Tatsu,

it is I, Leonidas (aka Josh, 820 grams), King of Beardie Sparta . I bring my army of 300 beardie warriors - strong, fearless, undefeated, muscular beardies. We are a well organized and well trained army. We never retreat. We never surrender. For honor. All while eating mere greens.

let us bring the humans their Thermopylae.... The world will know that free beardies stood against humans, that a few stood against many...Beardies....Prepare for Glory!!! (300 beardies beard, raise spears,and cheer in background)

Are we in allegiance?

Wait. I must say goodbye to my queen (aka Lola, 880 grams)...Beardie Sparta needs many sons (wraps self in red cape, beards, and exits stage right)