Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[StyxDragon4]

Trixi Master of Tricks here,
I suggest that we name the operation BDTO-200.
B-earded
D-ragon
T-ake
O-ver
200
<200 is just for looks>

Instead of saying operation, we should start saying BDTO-200. All in favor say I. Any suggestions welcome.

Also general Tatsu, I have succesfully hoarded 140+ crickets for our services.
I have reports that these shiny things on humans' necks are NOT edible. Neither are the things called diamonds edible no matter where they are. I have tried to eat one, but was unsuccesfull. Anyone who see's one stay away!
I hope this information will suffice.
Tryxi, Over and Out, SIR!

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Tryxi,

I like BDTO-200. But perhaps, we should use the number of recruits, instead of 200. :wink:

Also, please offer my share of crickets to the younger dragons. I haven't eaten those since I was a young dragon many years ago.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[StyxDragon4]

I was going to do that, but since I know the number of recruits would be changing, I put 200, but we can change it every time there is a new recruit.

Tryxie Over and Out, SIR!

 

[duke11]

Master Tatsu sir,
I have stored some supplies like you have requested. If you would like, I can store some feeder insects too. I have hornworms, phoenix worms, waxworms, and rep cal herpative and calcium, and rep cal juvie pellets. I can give this stuff to the army sir and I will have my slave go to the store and get another pack of waxies and phoenixes. The hornworms just came today. If there are any other foods that the army will need I'm sure the slave can get it. And what else can I do for the army?

Over and Out,
Duke

P.S. I am 3 months old!!!!! And I am 11 inches long!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm on my second shed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[duke11]

Oh and Tryxi I will say "I" because I like your operation name. BEARDED DRAGON TAKE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[StyxDragon4]

We are recieving 1000+ crickets 1/4 in. for the younger beardies.
Also I would like to say if there are 108 recruits, then we can make it BDTO-108. Then notify me when there is a new recruit, and i'll change it.
Tryxi
Over and Out, SIR!
P.S. I have pooped on the Lady Human, she was so grossed out. I shall prevail!
Also, they let me bask in Actuall sunlight! It was so heavenly.
Has anyone else done this? It is so wonderful.

 

[duke11]

I am going to convince my lady human to let me bask outside in the summer. Right now, it is too cold for that!

 

[duke11]

I have an idea. Everyone's army number is what recruit number they are. I am Duke 105 reporting here sir. Trying to think of ways to 1. plot for March 2. torture human 3. torture slave. For the next attack in March we can send spies out undercover to learn what is happening and give us the info. I will volunteer to be an undercover spy. I like this. By the way, what are our plans so far for the attack? DUKE?!!!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER!?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO EAT YOUR PELLETS! AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TRACKING SHED SKIN ALL OVER THE FLOOR! GIT BACK TO YER TANK NOW, MISTER!

Darn slave. I told him to eat my pellets but you know slaves. It's always, "in a second sir" or "hang on a minute" or "just a minute!" or "wait a sec". Man that slave is going to get a :whip: Well I guess it's over and out sir!


:notworthy: Duke 105
:bikerwave:

 

[dragondebs]

the name is elliott sir...reporting for duty. sorry for the delay sir. i have been spying and plotting escape. we will rule!!! is it too late to get one the recruit list? oh, i am up to 6.7 grams!! 1.2 grams in a week. but still quick and ferocious. oh, they will fear me!!

 

[Spikeyismybaby]

Hey it's Bobo here. I know I'm not a bearded dragon but I'd like to act as a spy. I'm a 3-year-old basset hound and I'm pretty sure my floppy ears and wrinkly face has won the humans over. We have plenty of dandelions in our backyard. I can send them over so the troops have fiber! :wink: Keep me notified on what I especially need to pay attention to. Uh oh...darn humans are coming.

*saluts*
Bobo

 

[StyxDragon4]

I like that idea I think im recruit number 98
Trixy Master Of Tricks Recruit No. 98, will be my title.That sounds cool.
Makes it seem much more sofisticated.
Any way...

... :twisted: I have done some planning, and I think that we should each make a list of things like,

Name
Rank
Recruit No.
Food Stock
Evil Doings
Doings to Be Done

, and post them regularly to keep in touch with the rest of the recruits. It would be cool to count up how many food types we have and how many of them we have. Also, when we do it it should be every week, to report to Tatsu, so he can be involved.

Tatsu,
How many recruits do we have now?
If we are going to call it BDTO- whatever the amount of recruits there are, then I need to know how many recruits there are every time the is a new one, so we can change it. I think right now, plus the new recruit that just entered before this message, there is 109, so it will be called
BDTO-109.

Also, thank you for naming me Master of Tricks.
Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No. 98, BDTO-109
<Thats what we should do after all of our messages, name rank recruit no. and the operation.>
Over and Out. SIR!
Just in...
P.S. There is another recruit, a Hound Dog. That probably makes BDTO-110. If he is included.

 

[landcatrut]

Charmander, new recruit. I thought I had a cat informant, turns out double cross agent! She told of my escape route and humans have made my pass unescapable!! :evil:

 

[StyxDragon4]

Never mind about some of that, I am actually recruit No. 97.
Over and Out. SIR!

 

[StyxDragon4]

Now it's called BDTO-111, another recruit. Wow I have changed it three times in the past five minutes. Tatsu there are three new recruits. A hound, the guy that posted before him, and the guy that posted before this post.
Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No.97, BDTO-111.
Over and Out. SIR!

 

[StyxDragon4]

Bobo Elliott and Charmander are the new recruits names. SIR! And yes you guys will probably have to wait till tomorrow to have Tatsu put you on the list. You can also request ranks, like mine is master of tricks. Also you recruit number will appear before you name on the list. Nos. 108-111.
Tryxi, Master of Tricks, Recruit No. 97, BDTO-111.
Over and Out. SIR!