Looking for support- Lizzie passed away

[FortheLoveofLizzie]

Hello friends,

I am saddened by Lizzie’s passing.

Her story is well documented in this forum.
I found her in the side of the road about 8 yrs ago in Illinois.
She has been the most loving baby.

She went to get nails clipped about two weeks ago. Did fine
She started to eat less over last two weeks.
I bathe her and she drinks water- she started to drink less.
I thought she might have been going through brumation.
We set up a vet appt.
The worse part is I had aTrip planned and as I bathed her just before leaving I first noticed that she seemed to have lost a lot of weight around her previously chunky thighs.
She drank a little.
While I was gone my family called to tell me she had not moved since I put her back after bath.
The next day at the vet appt he said she had a mass in her abdomen and he suspected a tumor.
After seeking a reptile vet for hours I told my family to take her back to be euthanized.
She was barely breathing and her beard was the darkest beard she has EVER had. She was distressed.

I am devastated that I wasn’t there to hold her one last time
I m devastated to think that I missed some obvious signs and that had I acted sooner she could have survived.
But I am devastated that “survived what”? A tumor operation at her age (and I don’t actually know her age) in her condition?
I am devastated all around.
I feel guilty that I left.
I feel guilty that my niece and elderly mom had to suffer her last days without me
I am devastated that I left her and that maybe I didn’t give her the best life even though every one around me says I did.
I am devastated
And I miss her
I dread going home (still on the road) to see her habitat cold and empty
I am just devastes and I can’t sleep- hence this post.

I am trying to remember how we met
The randomness
How much she taught me about love
About reptiles
How she expanded my ability to live and how she made me a better person.

Lizzie I will always love you.
I believe we will meet again.
Please forgive me for not being there for your last breaths.

Anyway.
Thank you for this forum. I learned so much from all of you. Thank you.

 

[Gormagon]

My eyes got a bit watery when I read this so I had to compose my self to type.
Sounds like she had a wonderful life with you. She would not have survived had you not found her 8 years ago, she was fortunate that you did. So in short you did everything that was possible to make her feel love and happiness. Don't beat yourself up with (what if's). Sometimes we just can't stop things from happening.

 

[KarrieRee]

I am so sorry to hear about Lizzy --- it is so hard when they pass so suddenly --

 

[FortheLoveofLizzie]

I am so sorry to hear about Lizzy --- it is so hard when they pass so suddenly --

My eyes got a bit watery when I read this so I had to compose my self to type.
Sounds like she had a wonderful life with you. She would not have survived had you not found her 8 years ago, she was fortunate that you did. So in short you did everything that was possible to make her feel love and happiness. Don't beat yourself up with (what if's). Sometimes we just can't stop things from happening.

Thank you so much for your kind words.
And thank you for shedding a tear for my little baby girl.
I’m time I will heal and your words are so helpful.
Thank you

 

[FortheLoveofLizzie]

I am so sorry to hear about Lizzy --- it is so hard when they pass so suddenly --

Thank you. It is.

 

[AHBD]

I'm also very sorry to read about your girl. You took great care of her and she really did have a good life with you. I glanced through the pics, I love the one of her in the grass, exploring the great outdoors ! It's obvious she was very loved and I know this is devastating to you. You will get through this and maybe someday give a good home to another. For now, my heart goes out to you for losing your Lizzie.

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

It is so very sad when they pass so quickly without any warning.
She had a great time with you & is very lucky that you took her in &
gave her a wonderful home.
You wrote a beautiful tribute to her. We do have a Beardie Memorium on this
website so you are welcome to make a post there which you can write or post
anything there if you would like. It is just for your post but no one can make or
write any comment there, just view it.

Tracie

 

[FortheLoveofLizzie]

I'm also very sorry to read about your girl. You took great care of her and she really did have a good life with you. I glanced through the pics, I love the one of her in the grass, exploring the great outdoors ! It's obvious she was very loved and I know this is devastating to you. You will get through this and maybe someday give a good home to another. For now, my heart goes out to you for losing your Lizzie.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

 

[FortheLoveofLizzie]

Hello,

It is so very sad when they pass so quickly without any warning.
She had a great time with you & is very lucky that you took her in &
gave her a wonderful home.
You wrote a beautiful tribute to her. We do have a Beardie Memorium on this
website so you are welcome to make a post there which you can write or post
anything there if you would like. It is just for your post but no one can make or
write any comment there, just view it.

Tracie

Thank you.thank you so much.