Introducing Spike to his new friend

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Gymgirlx

Hatchling Member
jabronie":2ueh3hfy said:
no one is rude, just expressing frustration through smilies. when there are 5 threads on the first page of this section with the same scenario of people wanting to house dragons together, and people have to literally, every day, tell someone who hasn't done any research on their own not to do so, all they can do is bang their head against a brick wall as to not lash out in frustration/anger. especially since most of the time, someone wants to argue that its ok because they have or know someone who successfully broke the 1 in 10,000 odds of housing multiple dragons together without problems, as opposed to the 9,999/10,000 times housing together ends in BAD results.

I don't think anyone was rude. The point has gotten across though. It's frustrating to see that people are still asking to house beardies together. It only takes a minute of searching to yield so many results about that question, that maybe why a few people are a bit frustrated.
 

SuzukiRider

Hatchling Member
Gymgirlx":wgbvuax6 said:
jabronie":wgbvuax6 said:
no one is rude, just expressing frustration through smilies. when there are 5 threads on the first page of this section with the same scenario of people wanting to house dragons together, and people have to literally, every day, tell someone who hasn't done any research on their own not to do so, all they can do is bang their head against a brick wall as to not lash out in frustration/anger. especially since most of the time, someone wants to argue that its ok because they have or know someone who successfully broke the 1 in 10,000 odds of housing multiple dragons together without problems, as opposed to the 9,999/10,000 times housing together ends in BAD results.

I don't think anyone was rude. The point has gotten across though. It's frustrating to see that people are still asking to house beardies together. It only takes a minute of searching to yield so many results about that question, that maybe why a few people are a bit frustrated.

If you had noticed the OP has made only 3 posts to this forum. I have no idea how old he or she is. This person could be a teenager who is very excited about getting another dragon as well as possibly thinking their situation is unique to others so they don't take the time or are too impatient to read other posts as well as thinking what I wrote above. Myself, as an example, in my forties took on a beardie baby after reading just the basics. That is why these forums are available so we can learn from others and our own mistakes. Like I said, there is no need to be rude and if you don't think that angry face smilies as well as the ones banging their head against a wall is NOT rude, then there's a problem. I've left a puffer forum just for this reason as the head administrator was so obnoxious, she came down on everyone that made and error in judgement or didn't see things HER way. Therefore, if the majority is ok with this type of behaviour from "experienced" owners, then it looks like I'll be leaving this site as well as I'm getting a very bad taste in my mouth. I'm sure there are other beardie forums out there that are more willing to accept mistakes of members without the need for this type of behavior. I've been a member of a cichlid forum for over 2 years now and not once have I read a post from a member similar to what I've read above.

Thanks and have a very Merry Christmas.
 

sweetiepie9

BD.org Sicko
Retired Moderator
As someone new, the OP should be able to introduce their beardies without being pounced on. I understand that this is a big issue, but there are better ways to make suggestions. The point of this thread was an introduction.

Congratulations on your new baby & Merry Christmas. As to what was previously said, please think about it.
Have a happy 2012, too!
 

diamc

BD.org Sicko
Staff member
Moderator
This new member came here to get opinions and ask questions. Some of you were very polite with your responses and that is appreciated. Others were very rude and used nasty smilies to try to express yourselves and the choice of smilies you used were very inappropriate so they were removed (hopefully I got them all.) Everyone here was a new member at one time and this forum encourages new members to come here for help, where would we be without new members?????? We should welcome them with open arms and offer advice, everything can be put nicely. We want them to stay and to feel comfortable asking questions. Everyone here agreed to abide by the site policies, especially the one on Rude Behavior. So, I suggest you re-read that particular policy and think how YOU would feel if someone said those things to you when you first came here. viewtopic.php?f=48&t=65765#p500638 Members that read these posts should have reported them as "abuse" so that us moderators could have stepped in sooner. We want to work as a team so it really helps when everyone helps us out.


SpikeMilligan, welcome :wave: to the forum. I'm glad you found us. I do apologize to you for the way you were treated right off the start, that was totally uncalled for. We are here to help and most of us have a passion for bearded dragons, some of us go overboard at times because we DO care so much and don't want any of them hurt in any way. We don't mean to come across as mean or rude, hopefully that won't happen again. Please feel free to address any questions or concerns that you may have. If you would feel more comfortable in the beginning sending a pm to someone that you feel is most helpful, that is fine with us.

Beardies are actually solitary creatures and want us to love and care for them. In the wild, they are together long enough to breed and then they move on. So, in captivity, it is up to us to watch out for them and give them what they need. If you would like to have 2 beardies, it really is best for them to each have their own tanks. Unfortunately, we have heard a lot of stories and seen quite a few pictures of beardies get hurt (or worse) from a cage mate. Even ones that have been housed together for quite a while can suddenly turn on each other and that just breaks our hearts when we hear about that. Once in a while, we do run across owners that have kept females together and there have been no problems, but there are a lot of signs that need to be watched for and usually one beardie will thrive and the other will just exist because of the stress of being housed with another. When owners want to breed them, it's recommended to put the male and female together just long enough to breed (a few hrs at the most), then return them to their own tanks because the male will want to breed non-stop keeping the female from eating, basking, etc which will stress her out very badly and can make her very ill (or worse.)

Hopefully the info you have gotten so far will be helpful to you with your decision. Again, we are here to help and encourage you to stay on this very helpful forum so we can share all of our great experiences of these wonderful creatures.

edit: I'm sorry Deb, I guess we were posting at the same time. At least we reinforced the policy a little better by both of our posts.
 

jabronie

Member
honestly, if you think using smilies, whether they are angry or banging their head against a brick wall out of frustration is rude, then YOU have some sort of a problem. i didn't see a single rude, or derogatory post. if you don't like people expressing themselves about subjects like this, then guess what? DON'T RUN A PUBLIC FORUM. common sense. you can't be super strict SS type police and watch what every word is said, if you don't like hearing other peoples opinions, whether they be positive or not, then again, DON'T RUN A PUBLIC FORUM, especially in a country where there is freedom of speech, and ESPECIALLY when no one was rude at all.
 

SuzukiRider

Hatchling Member
jabronie":1gcz4z7u said:
honestly, if you think using smilies, whether they are angry or banging their head against a brick wall out of frustration is rude, then YOU have some sort of a problem. i didn't see a single rude, or derogatory post. if you don't like people expressing themselves about subjects like this, then guess what? DON'T RUN A PUBLIC FORUM. common sense. you can't be super strict SS type police and watch what every word is said, if you don't like hearing other peoples opinions, whether they be positive or not, then again, DON'T RUN A PUBLIC FORUM, especially in a country where there is freedom of speech, and ESPECIALLY when no one was rude at all.

Did you read all the posts or just the ones after the Mods removed the rude comments? There is huge difference between freedom of speech and downright ignorance. I am Canadian and this is the SECOND time I've experienced this behavior on this forum. The first time I just ignored it because the poster had an additude problem against Canadians. I really doubt James Madison, the man who wrote the bill of rights, refers to freedom of speech as a right for others to forget their manners.

"GOOGLES CANADIAN BEARDED DRAGON FORUMS"
 

diamc

BD.org Sicko
Staff member
Moderator
The site policies of this forum were put here for a reason and are to be followed. Yes, it's a public forum the polices need to be adhered to like on any public forum. The moderators and Administrator decide what is and isn't rude and 2 moderators posted here about the Rudeness policy being broken. I am printing the regulations on that particular policy here that was written by the site Administrator and by going down that list, they were indeed not followed. If anyone has anything else to add regarding this, you can send me a pm, otherwise lets let this thread get back on track to help the OP.

As we regularly seem to encounter people being rude to others in varying degrees and ways, this policy is being defined to make it clear that this will not be tolerated. Rude behavior will now be handled by temporary banning users from logging into the site (you can still read public areas). Repeat offenses or more severe offenses will result in increased period of ban time. Attempts to circumvent bans (ie. registering with another account) will result in a permanent ban on you IP address/subnet. Public rudeness and attitude to moderators attempting to enforce site policies, or ignoring their warnings in threads will also be met with a temporary ban and treated more severely.

Examples of rudeness (not limited to these):
- Making fun of someone's spelling
- Calling someone a name
- Implying another member is stupid
- Unfriendly sarcasm
- Attacking someone seeking help, for other aspects of their care practices
- Making comments designed to evoke an emotional upset in another... aka "pushing buttons" (as determined by moderators)

There are polite and friendly ways of addressing all of the above. I do not find it acceptable that new members decide to leave after only a few posts, because they were jumped on for flaws in their care practices, or were made to feel stupid because they didn't know various things. I do not find it acceptable that what could have had the potential to be a good discussion or debate, degrades into bickering or unfriendly arguments. I also do not find it acceptable that rudeness on one person's topic often results in derailing the original posters thread.

If you cannot post something politely, don't post it at all.

The definition of what is and is not "rude" will be left up to the moderators and myself.This is to avoid people saying "it wasn't intended" or saying people just misunderstood. When it comes to deciding whether you think something is or is not rude, do not think of what you would find to be rude. Ask yourself if we (moderators and I) would consider it rude. If it's questionable, err on the side of caution. If you don't try to push things to the limit, you won't find yourself getting in trouble for it.

As always, if someone is being rude to you or to another, you are NOT to get involved yourself. This is not your role here. If you want to do something about it, report it, and leave it at that. Getting involved in a dispute risks having you also be warned/banned, so just stay out of it and let us deal with it. "They started it" will not be an acceptable excuse.

First offense will result in a warning via a PM that will also direct you to this policy (that way everyone gets one chance to be made aware of the policy). Subsequent offenses will result in a temporary and escalating ban (ie. 1 day, 3 days, etc.).

[Added 11/17/07]
Members are not to publicly point out others as being rude. Ever since this policy was defined I'm seeing a number of members using that accusation as a tool of "control", effectively using it as a threat, or a manipulation. If someone is being rude, report it. I believe I've already said that members should not attempt to moderate other members, and that includes deciding what does and does not fall under this policy.
 

SuzukiRider

Hatchling Member
I would like to apologize as I did not know there was a policy for rudeness and it's best to report the post rather than comment back. It won't happen again. Thank you Moderators for stepping in. :)
 

diamc

BD.org Sicko
Staff member
Moderator
SuzukiRider":37qmeh65 said:
I would like to apologize as I did not know there was a policy for rudeness and it's best to report the post rather than comment back. It won't happen again. Thank you Moderators for stepping in. :)
You certainly were not the biggest offender, no worries there. Yes, it is actually best to report a post, that way we can step in and handle it as we see fit which will also help keep you from getting into the conflict. Thanks for making this post. :wink:

I've noticed that the OP hasn't posted since, sure hope they weren't chased away from all the drama. :(
 

SuzukiRider

Hatchling Member
diamc":10kiwr5h said:
SuzukiRider":10kiwr5h said:
I would like to apologize as I did not know there was a policy for rudeness and it's best to report the post rather than comment back. It won't happen again. Thank you Moderators for stepping in. :)
You certainly were not the biggest offender, no worries there. Yes, it is actually best to report a post, that way we can step in and handle it as we see fit which will also help keep you from getting into the conflict. Thanks for making this post. :wink:

I've noticed that the OP hasn't posted since, sure hope they weren't chased away from all the drama. :(

Thanks. I hope the OP comes back as well. I know there's a lot to learn on this site. I, for one have learned so much.
 

sweetiepie9

BD.org Sicko
Retired Moderator
I sent an email to the OP to apologize for all the negative commends on this introduction thread. I'm hoping that helps.
Deb
 
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