I'm scared of my baby bearded dragon...

[melissamott124]

Hello all!

My name is Melissa and I'm pretty new to this forum and brand new to lizards. I did a ton of research before I adopted my little Cleo, and I've been anxiously waiting for years to graduate college so I could move home and set up a terrarium in my bedroom. Well the time has finally come and I adopted Cleo and couldn't be happier with her! She's beautiful, healthy, eating a ton!

The one problem is, I'm pretty scared of her. I didn't anticipate this happening, but now that she's here I'm genuinely pretty nervous/scared to handle her. She's about 3.5 months old and I only got her 2 days ago, so I'm hoping this is something that will go away with time. She's extremely timid around people (darting to get away from us, hiding under her logs when we try to pick her up, etc.) and when we finally do manage to take her out of her tank, she puffs up her beard.

I know I'm being irrational and the odds of her actually biting are slim, but yet I'm still so nervous! I can't pick her up out of her tank (my mom has been the main one handling her, she's much better with this sort of thing than I am), but I'm okay to hold her once she's out of her tank AS LONG AS she's not puffing up and seems to be calm.

I know that in order for me to get used to her, and possibly more importantly for her to get used to me, I just have to bite the bullet and handle her. I don't want her to become aggressive and grow to hate being handled. Does anyone have advice on how to get over this fear, or even stories of similar experiences? I'm a little embarrassed to be admitting this, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt this way!

 

[CooperDragon]

If you're timid, for now I'd just let her be and not handle her for a bit. Give her a few weeks to get used to her new home and settle in. She is probably a bit scared or stressed too (sometimes they are curious and adventurous out of the box though, so it depends!). Just hang out near her tank and get her used to your hands being around for cleaning and refreshing/offering food. Maybe try hand feeding her some black soldier fly larvae as a treat and see how that goes. As she gets older and bigger she will settle down, you have time. After a few weeks of settling in you could try picking her up and holding her again if you feel comfortable doing so. Just approach from in front so she can see you (predators approach from above so they tend to be skittish about that) and support both her feet and hands when you hold her because they panic and flail if they feel off balance. Don't feel rushed to handle her if you're not feeling ready or if she is acting timid. Give it a few weeks and try again and see how it goes. There's no rush.

 

[melissamott124]

Hey CooperDragon, thanks for responding! I think the worst part of this all is that I want to bond with her so bad and now I feel pressured. I'm just worried that she and I won't have a good relationship, because I've seen so many awesome owner-beardie relationships here and on YouTube.

It's nice to know that I don't have to pressure myself or rush. One day at a time. Thanks again!

Melissa

 

[kingofnobbys]

I can guarantee she's more scared off you if she's virtually wild (never been handled or learnt she can trust people).

Take it slow , let her dictate the pace , hand feeding some food treats each day is great icebreaker and a wonderful way to bond with your spikey child.

Try placing your open up turned hand in her tank with some yummy BSF maggots , silkworms (small = 1.5in long to medium = 2in long) on your hand where she can see it, she will eventually decide to change coming to you hand to take these offerings / bribes / treats , I've use this approach even with little wild skinks (who are known for their timidness and skittishness and shyness) and I've hand the come over and crawl onto my hand to take the food treats (in their cases mealworms , small crickets , small silkworms) and even had them then trying to look between my fingers / under my fingers (I think they thought I was holding out on them and hiding more treats and I had to show them "look nothing between the fingers , look nothing under my fingers" and they really looked but were then satisfied. If I can do this with a totally wild very skittish and shy little skink , you can have your little girl taking food from your hand too.... first time my wife fed one of the wild skinks she was grinning ear to ear so was so stoked, and the first time my grandson fed a lizard by hand the look on his face and the excitement he expressed was priceless.

With my pet lizards I start off with only barest minimum handling and contact, just required handling to clean tank , spot clean , remove / replace food , and the bonding handing feeding ritual. Five minutes per day.
A few months later I was giving them 15 - 30min snuggles after the handfeeding ritual.

 

[Mysty]

If your mum is the main handler for mow, that's ok. 2 days is not a long time. In 2 weeks I guarantee you will both feel more comfortable around each other.

If the beardie can see you from the viv or you sit next to your mum while she handles, you are still developing a bond.

 

[Ambii90]

Absolutely nothing to be afraid of. If she were to bite, shes too small to do any damage. Its kinda like pressing your finger on the rough side of velcro. But if it makes it easier, you can use gloves for a little while so you can get used to holding her and get more comfortable with her personality and reactions to being handled. Beardies are very docile and enjoy being held. They rarely bite and only occassionaly show agression which they almost never follow through on.

http://scalesntales365.blogspot.com/2017/05/guide-to-owning-bearded-dragon.html?m=1

 

[Emimee]

I think it's also worth noting that juvenile bearded dragons tend to have more skittish behavior and can develop an attitude. My beardie, Paarthurnax, was a very active but curious and friendly guy when I first got him, a few months old. He was not afraid of handling, and seemed to have a really good time running around my bed and floor. As he got a little older though, he suddenly became fairly aggressive for a while; he would puff up, headbang, beard at me, and even tried to bite me occasionally. I can't remember exactly how long this went on, but with patience and gentle handling (and lots of wax worm treats), he grew out of it. He is now just about the chillest dude ever, and hasn't bearded at anything but the ceiling fan in years. I like to think of it as his angsty teenage phase!

The point I meant to make is that younger dragons can have a vastly different personality than their adult counterparts, and even if you have some behavioral troubles with a young beardie, they usually grow out of it. It's probably just your baby adjusting to a new home and new surroundings though! I'm sure that you will both warm up to each other before long. In the meantime, I would advise you to wait a couple of weeks for her to adjust, and then get as much interaction in as possible without actually picking her up until you're more comfortable with it. Handfeeding and head rubs are great ways to bond with your lizard without the slightly more stressful handling!

 

[melissamott124]

Hey everyone!

Thanks for the great information and encouragement. I'm currently back at uni to finish up my finals (graduating in 1 week!!), but I will be home very, very soon to try out some of these techniques. In the meantime, I'm going to let Cleo get used to her new home. Just since I am so nervous, I might try out a pair of gloves for a little while so I can work up the courage to have my hands in there without the fear of a painful/sudden bite. If I'm not scared of the bite, I know I won't instinctively yank my hand away from her suddenly, scaring her more. I'll also give hand-feeding a try.

Thanks again guys, I appreciate it!

 

[Chula]

If it makes you feel better beardies usually give warning before they bite. Hissing and beard puffing will usually come before a bite. Learn your little guys body language and you will be fine.

With gentle handling I think bites are pretty rare. My Rocky has bitten once in the year that we have had her. It was on day two and there was far too many people in the room and she was stressed. I was not paying attention to her body language and she nailed my 8 year old daughter. This was totally my fault poor Rocky was stressed and I was not eduacated to recognize the signs. My daughter had a tiny abrasion on the tip of her finger. She didn't cry and she is a total drama queen. I promise you will be fine. Rocky was a full grown adult at this time.

Be patient with yourself. I would start with gently stroking your babies back while she is in her enclosure and work up to your mom placing her on your lap/chest. In no time you will be a pro!

I was nervous at to first because I had never handled a reptile before my Rockstar but now there are no nerves.

 

[BD99]

Hey Man. This may be the horseman in me but I would straight away say FACE THE FEAR. When you fall off, the longer you take to get on the worse it'll be. Even if its just to sit in the metaphoric or literal saddle for a second, facing your fear allows you to grow more comfortable. Facing fear doesn't HAVE to be huge leaps. It could be small steps, like feeding.

If you have a sliding glass door front type of cage, you have a HUGE advantage already. Because you can sit low to the ground and offer tribute to your dragon. Tribute in the form of treats. From little bits of chopped up diet to the mother of all yummies ((in my girl's mind)) Mealworms. If you just place one on the palm of your hand and stick it through the doors, I guarentee Cleo will leap onto your hand with her little front feet just to nab that worm.

This way, you can work with your hand been part of the enviroment and leave a situation where your beardie has other options other than instantly picking a fight. It isn't perfect for you, I know, sticking your hand into a dragon's lair. But GODS the way their little tongues lead. It's heartmelting. I have noted that with bugs, they glob them with their tongue and pull them a little back into their jaws. With this dragon action and a flat palm, you have the least chance of been bitten. You also face your fear a little every time, and I think once you see how cute your bub is it will be a MASSIVE reward.

The double effect with this aside from close contact, is that you begin teaching your dragon to step onto your hand comfortably. Your hand becomes safer to them, just as their claws and weight become safer to you. With me feeding like this, I've worked my grouchy girl from black beards and open mouth to minorly open mouth yet still stepping onto my hand. She is ONLY puffy about been originally brought out of her home, the she's a kitten. outside her cage, my little Nox will run into my hand from across rooms, step up without the shown bribe too.


Aside from this, all I can really say is a little daunting. You have atleast 10 years with your bub. You WILL get bitten sooner or later. Be it an accident or on purpose. My accident was brushing substate off her lip after feeding her kingworms. I've done it a thousand times. She thought my finger was the next worm. Instantly let go and jumped back. Through all her huffs and threats her only bite thus far was my own foolish fault and an accident... it hurt for 10 minutes. Broken skin took 3 days to heal over.

Like any wild animal, or human even, bearded dragons have good days and horrid days. There are freak accidents and frights. However, while a nasty bite may last a week or two, the bond you share will grow over a decade and last for the rest of your life. The pain of a bite in comparison to the joys of a Dragon is insignifigant when you truly put it into perspective.

 

[edmek55555]

Hello all!

My name is Melissa and I'm pretty new to this forum and brand new to lizards. I did a ton of research before I adopted my little Cleo, and I've been anxiously waiting for years to graduate college so I could move home and set up a terrarium in my bedroom. Well the time has finally come and I adopted Cleo and couldn't be happier with her! She's beautiful, healthy, eating a ton!

The one problem is, I'm pretty scared of her. I didn't anticipate this happening, but now that she's here I'm genuinely pretty nervous/scared to handle her. She's about 3.5 months old and I only got her 2 days ago, so I'm hoping this is something that will go away with time. She's extremely timid around people (darting to get away from us, hiding under her logs when we try to pick her up, etc.) and when we finally do manage to take her out of her tank, she puffs up her beard.

I know I'm being irrational and the odds of her actually biting are slim, but yet I'm still so nervous! I can't pick her up out of her tank (my mom has been the main one handling her, she's much better with this sort of thing than I am), but I'm okay to hold her once she's out of her tank AS LONG AS she's not puffing up and seems to be calm.

I know that in order for me to get used to her, and possibly more importantly for her to get used to me, I just have to bite the bullet and handle her. I don't want her to become aggressive and grow to hate being handled. Does anyone have advice on how to get over this fear, or even stories of similar experiences? I'm a little embarrassed to be admitting this, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt this way!

The thing that really helped me was using gloves. My beardy never bit but the gloves made me feel more calm considering if he did happen to bite, it wouldnt hurt. It was more mental for me than anything but it really helped

 

[Dubah]

It was a shocker the first time my beardie bit me. Personally, it didn't even hurt, it was just shocking that she actually bit me considering i had her for a month, she loved to just chill on my shoulder and all that, and one day out of nowhere she just decided to try a piece of me.

It's easier after the first time. And I know the feeling too, I was afraid of getting bit by her, granted I'm sure the bite gets harder the bigger she gets, but now I just leave her alone if she is grumpy.

Couple of things I learned from my first experience is move slow, and I mean that in multiple ways, first few days just your presence aware, stick your hand in the cage with some food, but don't take it out of the cage unless it literally crawls onto your hand. The first few days in their new enclosure will be stressful, it's like you moving into a new house/apartment, the first few days you just want to be left alone to unpack and get comfy. Well, they can go through that same phase, let them get used to their surroundings, and learn their cage. After a few days just try to hand feed her, if you put your hand in front of them, not above them, they see it coming and they know it's not a predator, so they won't instantly jump into being aggressive.

If you are trying to pick it up without any kind of warning chances are you are going to startle it, in which case it will get defensive. So let it get used to you, and ALWAYS make sure you come from a direction that it is watching.

 

[melissamott124]

Hi everyone!

Thanks for some more responses, advice, and support. Just as an update: I'm getting a bit less timid around Cleo. I'm able to pet her in her tank and I can hold her for a bit when my mom takes her out. I'm still too nervous to pick her up myself but I'm fine when she's placed into my hands.

I'm a bit disappointed with how I've been so timid and nervous - I've been planning and preparing for my beardie for close to 3 years and all I want is to form a bond with her! She has good days and bad days; some days she only puffs up a little bit when we take her out of her tank and then she calms down and will just hang out in our hands. Other days (like today) she puffs up and hides before we even put our hands in.

It's a slow game of trust building. But then I see pictures on here of beardies younger than Cleo who are great and well-adjusted! I'm wondering if it's just her personality (more slow to trust) or if maybe I'm doing something wrong. We've had her for a little over two weeks now so I know I'm probably just putting a lot of pressure on myself, two weeks isn't that long.

Thanks again guys!

 

[Mysty]

Its most likely her personality. Some beardies don't like to sit still for very long (practically hyper), others like yours are a bit cautious, while some are laid back.