Feeling guilty..

[Chompster]

So I've been wondering how to phrase this for awhile and hoping someone else can relate. My boyfriend and I have two beardies, Chomper, who is two years old and Sobek who is just hitting one year. We have had them both since they were young. I love these two with all my heart.

Chomper was our first and we absolutely pampered him. He is a pretty big boy, close to 700g and 19.5" long. He is very very affectionate. Sobek is much, much more difficult. He has always been really picky about food. Has only had a few worms, every few days, since he was probably 6 months old. Unlike Chomper, who has an incredible appetite. They both see the vet every 6 months and get yearly bloodwork, with everything being okay. Sobek did have an incident when he was young where he almost choked on a raspberry. It scared us a LOT, and we tried to gently pry his mouth open. Now that he's older I notice a missing tooth (?????) and don't know if it has to do with that, or something else? Maybe the vet checking his mouth? He has had his bloodwork done so he isn't suffering from MBD or anything like that..

ANyway, Sobek is a bit smaller, probably 480g or so. He's not "skinny" by any means and he has a little belly and fat arms and a fat tail, but he seems so much more... I don't know, unhappy? That sounds weird but he doesn't seem to trust us as much or be as 'content' though I see no signs of distress. Neither of them poop more than once or twice a week (and haven't for a long time), despite eating salad regularly and having good temps and everything.

I just feel guilty.. for not spending as much time with them, or something, and I constantly worry that I'm not doing enough! We get really busy and don't get the time to take them out daily. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I also feel bad for sometimes wishing we hadn't gotten another beardie (not that I necessarily regret it) because they can't stand each other and taking one out is a huge production, involving going into the other room/covering up the other one's tank for a bit and hoping they don't see each other. I just feel like I'm not doing enough for them and don't know to cope with feeling so guilty.

Sobek:

Chomper:

 

[CooperDragon]

They both look healthy and like they are having their basic needs met (food, lighting, heat etc) so you're already better off than a lot of people are with their dragons (unfortunately for those dragons). It's OK if you don't have as much time with them as you'd like as long as you're able to keep meeting their basic needs. Give them time out and time for interaction as you can. If you're finding they're stuck in their enclosures for extended periods, try focusing on how to make their enclosures more interactive. Provide lots of climbs and things like that. You could try setting up a drip water feeding system or feed them in a somewhat interactive way (putting bugs in a cat toy ball comes to mind) so they need to think about hunting their food. As long as you're meeting their basic needs don't feel guilty. Do the best with the time you have and try to make their enclosures as comfortable/interesting to them as you can.

 

[JenFid]

I know exactly how you feel! My Sartharion sounds much like your Sobek. When he was younger he was so picky about his food, I couldn't understand it. He is better now but he is no vacuum, unlike my 2 girls. He's about 19 inches long and varies between 480-500 grams. He's turning 5 this year. He's a stout, healthy boy though.

Like you it's usually a big deal to take him out. He is in a different room than the girls but he knows where their tanks are...if I let him he will run out of the office and into the living room, climb the stairs, and terrorize the girls trying to get at them. As a result, he doesn't get out as much as they do, and unless I take him outside he has to stay in the office, door closed so that he can't run out. He can't be on the couch because the girls tanks are behind it and even if they're not in their tanks he will still flip out!

So I can understand and sympathize with the guilt. I feel it too, Sarth gets lots of attention but not on the same level as the girls.

 

[Heyimbrit]

I know how you feel too. I have 2 in the same room. Hoss is my adult male and Sandy is my hmm...I guess juvenile/sub-adult now. She's growing so fast. *happy tear*

Anyway, I've had 2 dragons other than Sandy since I got her in early August of last year. I got her when she was 5 weeks old and started reading about all of the cool things that you can do with adult beardies so I decided to get an adult. Around that time Sandy hit the point where she was always grouchy and didn't want to be held so it became very easy to just give her what she needed and spend more time with my adult. Unfortunately, he died a few months later and she still wasn't at the point where she wanted interaction. I ended up getting Hoss and the storied continued. He loved my interaction and she hated it. I could play with him, cuddle with him, and take him places with me all the time. My boyfriend would always get on me about favoring one over the other but I just kept telling myself that she was too small to be able to get the kind of attention that my boys got.

The good news is that she's getting bigger now so I'm slowly starting to get her used to being held so that when she's actually big enough and I trust her enough I can start taking her places with me and playing with her like I do with Hoss.

 

[Chompster]

Thank you all for the kind words!!

Cooper, Thank you. I think wondering "is this enough?" is something I will always worry about, and wonder, especially with my dragons -- but honestly with any pet. I am going to try to spend more time with them, even if it's just a few minutes a day.

Jen and Brit (sorry if this isn't actually your names, lol)
I'm glad someone else can sorta understand how I feel!! I thought I would want a few more beardies, but I feel so guilty even having gotten a second one now. They seem content enough, I suppose I can only work on doing even better for them!

Thank you all again for the kind words. I was having a bad week with their issues and I am feeling a lot better now.

 

[KahliLizard]

I feel quite guilty as well. Before I got a BD, I did lots of research. Yet despite my research, I decided to go against it. I was feeding her this, http://www.petco.com/product/119214/Zilla-Omnivore-Reptile-Munchies-Reptile-Food.aspx?Ntt=omnivore%20reptile%20food&OneResultRedirect=1 with live crickets occasionally. Kahli is now 2 years old, and is still only 15 1/2 inches. I feel so bad about it. Last year I got her on actual live bugs all the time, and on fresh leafy greens. I can't believe I was such an *****. It makes me so angry with myself. Not only that, but I had her without a uvb light. I got her one last September. This year she has been doing a lot of growing though, and is slowly recovering. I hope by the end of this year she will be full grown. Kahli has a big belly, poops regularly, correct temperatures, and a pretty thick tail. I wish so badly I could go back in time. Sorry for rambling. I had to get my anger at myself out somehow.

 

[Chompster]

I feel quite guilty as well. Before I got a BD, I did lots of research. Yet despite my research, I decided to go against it. I was feeding her this, http://www.petco.com/product/119214/Zilla-Omnivore-Reptile-Munchies-Reptile-Food.aspx?Ntt=omnivore%20reptile%20food&OneResultRedirect=1 with live crickets occasionally. Kahli is now 2 years old, and is still only 15 1/2 inches. I feel so bad about it. Last year I got her on actual live bugs all the time, and on fresh leafy greens. I can't believe I was such an *****. It makes me so angry with myself. Not only that, but I had her without a uvb light. I got her one last September. This year she has been doing a lot of growing though, and is slowly recovering. I hope by the end of this year she will be full grown. Kahli has a big belly, poops regularly, correct temperatures, and a pretty thick tail. I wish so badly I could go back in time. Sorry for rambling. I had to get my anger at myself out somehow.

Despite this, you obviously learned from your mistakes and are righting them now! I have similar regrets about keeping a Betta, knowing it wasn't getting the proper care it needed (and yet it was much better than people who keep their fish in a tiny glass bowl!!!), and to be honest you probably were treating yours better than so many people too! The good part is that you are doing everything you can now. That's what counts!! I can relate and understand how you feel.Let's keep doing the right thing.