Thank you everyone! I really really appreciate all of the kind words and thoughts and hugs and everything else. Ember is much happier - at peace with all her legs and tail
Carrie - I really should get your email so we can keep in better contact! I'll go check in on Norris soon. I miss catching up with you on the boards.
Christina - thank you for everything you've done to help me talk it out and even trying to help Ember get her surgery. You're an amazing woman, friend, and beardie mum.
athenacp and bitkpo - thank you very much for your thoughts and condolences. Losing a baby sucks, but at least it wasn't without trying our best.
It has been a very hard day. I cuddled with Ember last night while she slept. She wanted no dinner or breakfast and was miserable. I know she knew it was time. My vet was amazing, spending half an hour with me and Ember discussing why I knew it was the right time and he agreed with me. It was sad, but it was as good an experience as a euthanasia can be. He offered to do a necropsy on her to find out exactly what was wrong and I agreed to let him. If nothing else hopefully he will learn for next time so another beardie won't have to go through what Ember did.
The hospital had been having a fundraiser for another beardie, Norbert, who had a similar condition to Ember but it was localized to her (yes, she's a girl) right arm so they did a whole arm amputation for her yesterday. I donated to it of course and asked how Norbert was this morning while spending the last few minutes with Ember. Dr Maas actually let me meet her and showed me xrays. I was so happy for Norbert. She has an MBD underbite and cute little squished snout and a very pretty yellow like Nezzie.
I had cut my finger making beardie/turtle salad last night, and then once I got to work this afternoon I had to move my car due to very tight parking conditions and too many cars. I was so distracted I didn't even realize I was close to the fence and I completely smashed up the bumper in my car. I lost it. Between issues with work, school, and Ember then throw the car in on top it I was done. Just done. I hadn't really let it all out and I did it in from of my bosses and coworkers. Score 1 for me. It's only a bumper, nothing major.
I'm so glad Ember is in a better place and today is over. Let the healing begin.