Another "Am I paranoid?" post.. LOL

[Youkai]

**VERY long post coming up... **

Well today is two weeks that I've had Sakura and with all the help/advice from this forum and all of you, I believe she has a great home and she should be pretty happy.
The problem is, I just don't know if she IS happy. I guess from reading all your tales and experiences, I'm expecting her to behave a certain way and she isn't....yet. :lol:

First of all, I'm guestimating she's about 8-9 weeks old. She's eating great! She loves crickets and phoenix worms, she loves her "salad" which has been mostly kale, bok choy, and some carrots. She's pooping like crazy, once a day at least, sometimes two times a day.
I believe her temps are excellent and a few people here have agreed they are good.
She has two basking areas, one that is straight heat @ 110-115 consistently, and another that is only slightly cooler (95-100) that is about 6 or 7 inches away from a ReptiSun 10 UVB tube. The "cool" side of her tank ranges from 76-82 depending on the ambient temps in the room.
She's getting calcium w/D3 every day, one feeding, and Vitamins on Sat and Sun, one feeding.

She's probably 75%-85% finished with what I believe is her first shed and I know she was pretty unhappy right before it and during it. I think she's almost doubled in "girth" since I've had her, although she doesn't seem to have gotten all that much longer. It's hard to tell because I couldn't measure her before and I can't really measure her now.

When feeding, she has no problems chasing the crix around the viv when she's in "feeding frenzy" mode, but once she gets spooked the crix have to go right in front of her face before she'll scoop 'em up. As far as the worms go, she'll eagerly dive out of her basking branch and run over to my hand to grab a worm out of it, provided I go into the viv slowly and far away from her then slowly come to her head on. If I'm too fast, or go at her from the side or an angle, she backs away from me then looks puzzled at my hand and eventually comes to me.
I can lay my hand out flat with a worm in my palm and she'll "climb on board", eat the worm and stay there (although she seems kinda timid to be in my hand). If I try to lift my hand slowly, she flattens out against me and seems scared to be moving. Sometimes she'll try to jump off (about 2-3 inches is all I lift her up right now), sometimes she tries to back off my hand too. Sometimes she'll stay on me and I almost have to tip my hand over to get her to move.
When I remove my hand, I back away from her slowly until I'm as far away as I can be and then lift my hand out, that seems to be OK with her, but even that seems to spook her sometimes.

Basically, I'm worried because all she does is sit on her basking branch with her head and upper body held high and her beard is very dark and her stomach is very dark with tons of "cranky marks" (are we now calling them that? :mrgreen: )
She'll go over to her UVB basking area a few times a day and she generally seems more calm there, less marks and her beard/stomach seem clearer. They also seem to go away when I'm feeding her or when she's chasing crix around and eating.
She gets spooked really easily and if she's anywhere other than her basking branch when she's spooked, she'll haul a** over to and up her branch. It's like the only place she seems to feel safe.

At night, when her lights go out, she finds a spot between the base of her basking branch and the side of the viv, always a different spot and ALWAYS somehow touching her basking branch. She's even taken to crawling under the paper towels in her viv. I put a washcloth in there with her and she crawled into it one night to sleep, but hasn't gone back to it at all. She has a "hide" and I've only seen her go in it once, when she was chasing a cricket down.

I understand I'm dealing with relocation stress, a much larger home than what she was used to, and a shed all at the same time....but I'm just hoping/wishing she'd be less nervous around me and not seem so scared of me. I know it's only been two weeks...
And I'll admit, whenever anyone goes near her viv, she'll practically crush herself against the branch as if she's trying to hide from them, but she doesn't really do that when I'm around...she'll turn her head and watch/follow me, but as long as I move kinda slowly, she doesn't shy away from me as much as she does with everyone else.

I think I'm making progress with her. She wouldn't tolerate anyone or anything in or near her viv when I brought her home and she's slowly accepting me, but it's so slow going. I'm so terrified of trying to go too fast and pick her up right now or bathe her because I don't want to ruin any type of bond we're forming, and I KNOW we're "clicking" with each other on some level, no matter how slowly.

I'm NOT going to give up. Even tonight, she was practically jumping at my hand to get the phoenix worms from me and didn't get spooked and run until after about 25 worms or so. It's always when I take my hand away to get more food that seems to spook her. Yesterday she got spooked and ran after about 10 worms. So that makes me believe I'm making progress with her.

So everyone who's made it through this long post... does this all sound pretty normal? Am I being too paranoid or rushing things? Do you see anything here that your beardies have done or still do? Any advice or tips to help a distressed beardie lover?
Am I doing things wrong or should I just say "to heck with it" and force her to trust me and be comfortable with me?
My family and friends are all telling me I should just kinda force her and they say "she's got to get used to being handled and she needs to get used to the noise and action of people moving around" but I just feel like she should be comfortable with me FIRST... then I can introduce other things and other people. I want her to trust me so when something freaks her out, I can calm her down or soothe her.

Thanks for reading and thanks for any advice you can give..!!

 

[KairaandTaz08]

I think what you're doing is great! Not too many people take the time you are taking to gain her trust. She is stressed from the new home, people, shedding (Taz is a cranky little one when he's shedding), and everything else that is new. I didn't have to do much as far as getting Kaira to interact with me, she loves to be held and loves attention, always has. Taz, well he's been a bit difficult. He's growing like crazy and doesn't get a break between sheds...which really stresses them out. He also wasn't handled much before we got him and when we got him when had just found out that Kaira had parasites, so we were extremely busy with cleanings. I feel bad because I didn't have the time to work with Taz. Despite that, he has still come around. He doesn't freak out when we put our hands in his cage, he eats from our hands, and he will come up to the glass and "give us a kiss" lol (well, he won't for me, he does for Lucas). Kaira is a calm dragon, but she still has days when she gets stressed out (mostly when shedding). Taz still has stress marks maybe half of the time when he's in his cage. It's pretty normal for them to have the stress marks in their cage and then have them go away when they are out. Both Kaira and Taz did this. With age, at least with Kaira, the stress marks will go away when they are in their cage.
Basically, everything sounds normal, unless she is jet black bearding...is she? The only other thing I would say is I recommend having a fecal done after they get settled in, also it's good to have a vet on-hand, just in case. That's just me though.
Again, I think you're doing great,
Abi

 

[leann]

Hello,

I too think that you are doing great. We've had our rescue since mid September and the poor little guy was kept in a back bedroom that wasn't in use, so he hardly had any interactions w/ humans at all. When we brought him into our home he was scared of us and our hands being in the cage, did alot of that backing up and armwaving.......I (we) tried to give the little guy some space and some settling in time (that was hard, lol). We did lots of talking & petting. He is still just a little skittish at times but he is much much better. I think I kinda forced myself on him....I just coudn't help it :silent: They are just so damn cute!! There have been a couple of times where I go to put him back in his cage and he runs up my arm...lol He loves to sit in the window above the couch and look outside....I'm sorry I could just go on & on........

Remember......Lots of talking & petting.......he'll get better :wink:

 

[Ethelia]

Hi there,
What a wonderful job your doing! She must be very glad you found eachother.
Firstly Id say not to worry about the crankylines and blackbeards at the moment. Shedding is on the beardie hate list. On top of that she has a new home and a new slave, its alot to take in.
I understand what your going through with your little one. I adopted a rescued female who'd never been handled and had been eaten by other lizards.
It seems like your baby is simply going to take a while to trust you, purhaps she had some bad handling in the past.
Other than what your doing now Id offer the following tips for you to try....
- its great that she is associating your hand with food, and a great sign that she will get on top. what id suggest if she's on top and your going to start moving is to lower your other hand next to the one holding your beardie so she has more room, then talk to her as you raise up. its just a definate change from feeding time to 'ok popa's lifting you now'. hopefully she'll recognise there is a difference.
- when you finally go for handling id do it an hour or so after lights out when she'll be sleepy and bored of fighting.
- at this time you can try the 'beardie burrito'. this involves wrapping your beardie in a blanket/towel like a newborn baby and laying them on your chest. if she doesnt like the beardie burito try wearing a dressing gown, alot of beardies enjoy softness. Dex loves mine.
- when handling in this taming period make sure your not wearing any strong aftershave and that you dont smell like food.
- id also definatly recommend that you find an old item of clothing of yours (or cut a chunk out of it) and leave it in the tank. Make sure you've worn it for a couple of hours to get your... aroma(!). She will become used to your smell in a non threatening way.
and repeat!

Although you might end up getting a few scratches as she squirms to run away or do as Dex did and LEAP FOR FREEEEEEEDOM it is VERY important not to just put her down if she struggles. She will learn that fighting/panicing etc gets her her own way and will make the process longer and harder.

Im sure you two will get along when she's learnt to trust you.
I got my grumpy girl in august, and she'd puff, hiss and try (and manages it a few times!!!) to bite me. Now Dexters favourite places is snuggled into my neck and dressing gown and if I dare try to put her back in her viv before she is ready she will CLAMP herself to my hand and shuffle all the way back up my arm. Its so funny I can never be cross with her.

Do keep us updated on the wonderful job you are doing.

Holly

 

[sunkist]

I agree with what you are doing is great... and I love me some cranky lines... heehhe

Now that being said, I am a tough love kinda girl! I did it with my kids and I do it with my beardy. Lindy has been held from day one. He tries to run from me at times but I still catch him and hold him. Sometimes it's a challenge but most of the time it's not too bad. He has two baths a day for his poopy rituals that are a must. I DON'T WANNA CLEAN IT. :lol:

I have had Lindy since mid-august. Wow... that's hard to believe so he is about 4.5 months old now I think. They will learn to trust you. Lindy now will let me pet him under his chin (just in the past two weeks) and along his side-beard. He will literally go to sleep doing it. He has only eaten from me once, he chooses to do it in his own time at his own pace not when mommy dictates it. :twisted: We are still working on our boundaries as far as what he can do outside his viv but that's because I have two cats that are just WAYYYYYYYY too interested in him if you get my meaning.

Soooo just keep what you are doing. I agree with the others that have said don't give in, she needs to know her boundaries and what you allow. She will get better with each day that goes by.