Alarming trend or just frazzled nerves?

[Gormagon]

I'll be the first to admit that I'm very passionate about pets, and there is nothing that frustrates me more than when an animal is clearly suffering and nothing is being done about it. That being said, I need to keep it in check and have made a concerted effort to do so lately. I'm "that rude person" that was referred to earlier, but I will say in that particular post that I did not mean to come off so harshly, I apologize, and sometimes things do get misconstrued when written. But I'll admit when I'm wrong, and I was wrong in that particular post, it was not intentional but just my frustrations with other people on here coming through, if I'm being honest. I owe Gormagon an apology, but I can explain why I responded the way I did, not an excuse but actually a reason...

The same time Gormagon posted his thread I had just read a horrible post that made me sick to my stomach, a new member looking for help because, in their own words, their beardie had two long, gaping wounds on its back that were so bad that the beardie's ribs were visible. Quite honestly, I lost my *****! When I and other people commented as to how badly their beardie's pain must have been, they responded that "he is not suffering at all", and then commented directly to me with "EllenD, don't you know that not everyone that has pets can afford to take them to the vet? What's wrong with you?"...So directly after that cluster I read Gorgamon's post and I think I read his statement of "I'm taking him to the vet in a few weeks, I'm busy and so are the vets"...Now I don't think Gorgamon meant that the way it sounded,
I don't remember posting that, are you sure it was me? Because my dragon "Peaches" is doing fine, lol!

and after the "exposed ribs" thing I guess I hit my breaking point...So again, I apologize, it was just a build up of crap and I should have known better than to respond to any other posts after that catastrophe. That's on me, I'm not rude, I am passionate about my pets, but I'm also dealing with cervical cancer, haven't worked in a year due to it, but i still take all of my pets to the vet regularly. So if your beardie's ribs are exposed, well, you get where I'm coming from I think.

I agree that everyone on here, including myself, has gotten worked up over an extremely difficult situation where a beardie has been suffering or has been subjected to dangerous or neglectful situations. I personally am now trying to take a step back and think before I type. That being said, I don't regret one word I said to that other person, there are situations where strong words are warranted, if for no other reason than to get a point across if the OP isn't understanding the severity of the situation, or insists that they "only want home remedies for a broken spine", or something similar. It's all in the delivery though, that's where at least I need to watch myself....Now if someone asks me what's wrong with me and tells me that I should know that not everyone can afford to get their pets medical care (and has also stated that they have like 15 lizard's and turtles), then I'm not going to pull punches. But that's a completely different situation than the typical one, and again, we all do need to take a breath...

Yes, I understand the whole cancer thing, very frightening and, I am very sorry you have to fight this beast. My son whom is disabled is fighting a hard uphill battle with brain cancer. Four rounds of chemo and, two surgeries (the last one was to remove a pear sized tumor and, it still came back only now was the size of a large grapefruit on his most recent MRI. We all have life problems that no one sees and, yes it is hard to keep it together at times, all we can do is try.
This forum is my escape from the grim reality that surrounds me. I just don't want to come on here one day and, no one is here because of being scared to post.

 

[kingofnobbys]

I'll be the first to admit that I'm very passionate about pets, and there is nothing that frustrates me more than when an animal is clearly suffering and nothing is being done about it. That being said, I need to keep it in check and have made a concerted effort to do so lately. I'm "that rude person" that was referred to earlier, but I will say in that particular post that I did not mean to come off so harshly, I apologize, and sometimes things do get misconstrued when written. But I'll admit when I'm wrong, and I was wrong in that particular post, it was not intentional but just my frustrations with other people on here coming through, if I'm being honest. I owe Gormagon an apology, but I can explain why I responded the way I did, not an excuse but actually a reason...

The same time Gormagon posted his thread I had just read a horrible post that made me sick to my stomach, a new member looking for help because, in their own words, their beardie had two long, gaping wounds on its back that were so bad that the beardie's ribs were visible. Quite honestly, I lost my *****! When I and other people commented as to how badly their beardie's pain must have been, they responded that "he is not suffering at all", and then commented directly to me with "EllenD, don't you know that not everyone that has pets can afford to take them to the vet? What's wrong with you?"...So directly after that cluster I read Gorgamon's post and I think I read his statement of "I'm taking him to the vet in a few weeks, I'm busy and so are the vets"...Now I don't think Gorgamon meant that the way it sounded, and after the "exposed ribs" thing I guess I hit my breaking point...So again, I apologize, it was just a build up of crap and I should have known better than to respond to any other posts after that catastrophe. That's on me, I'm not rude, I am passionate about my pets, but I'm also dealing with cervical cancer, haven't worked in a year due to it, but i still take all of my pets to the vet regularly. So if your beardie's ribs are exposed, well, you get where I'm coming from I think.
<<< I must have missed that particular thread ---- I think I may well have gone ballistic too !! and responded very bluntly .

Gets darned frustrating reading about situations that can be easily fixed with little money , a few tweeks , separating cohabiting reptiles, keeping predatory pets away , and maybe a visit to a good reptile vet and some medicine .

Feels like I'm flogging a dead horse with some keepers who refuse to take advise and refuse to accept that home remedies are more than likely worthless and refuse to involve a vet even if just get an assessment and advise .

Who suffers - certainly not me , probably not the keeper , it's their pet who has no say and no choice suffers and often it's lingering and painful death for want of a little kindness and proper husbandry and vet care ...


I agree that everyone on here, including myself, has gotten worked up over an extremely difficult situation where a beardie has been suffering or has been subjected to dangerous or neglectful situations. I personally am now trying to take a step back and think before I type. That being said, I don't regret one word I said to that other person, there are situations where strong words are warranted, if for no other reason than to get a point across if the OP isn't understanding the severity of the situation, or insists that they "only want home remedies for a broken spine", or something similar. It's all in the delivery though, that's where at least I need to watch myself....Now if someone asks me what's wrong with me and tells me that I should know that not everyone can afford to get their pets medical care (and has also stated that they have like 15 lizard's and turtles), then I'm not going to pull punches. But that's a completely different situation than the typical one, and again, we all do need to take a breath...

 

[Gormagon]

Yes, I agree that it is the pet that suffers and, yes I get frustrated when they don't use the advice given to them! But our goal here is to advise them, not browbeat them with it (this has been done for way to long)! I know how hard it is to advise and, hope they use it but, that's all we can do. The rest is up to them when it is all said and done.
Also, when someone's dragon has died for one reason or another, they are hurting inside. We need to show a little more compassion and, a lot less pointing fingers!
As the old saying goes... You can lead a horse to water but, you can't make him drink.

 

[EllenD]

Thanks everyone, I'm doing well and am basically in the recovery process, I had a total abdominal hysterectomy and some radiation and the lesions are in remission, I'm now dealing with some opportunistic infections, my immune system is worn down and common bacteria and fungi are causing me grief, basically I'm just really tired and trying to bounce back. I'm very lucky though. Gorgamon I am so sorry about your son, what a horrible thing for anyone to go through, I can't even imagine. What I've gone through was bad enough, anyone able to make it through what your son is going through is an incredibly strong person. I'll be thinking about him and sending positive energy your way.

I didn't mention I was sick because it's a source of frustration for me, like that's the reason I lost my cool, but rather was just trying to say that due to my health issues I haven't been able to work in over a year, yet I still make sure that all of my pets get regular medical care, I'm talking about regular wellness exams. If there's an emergency or an illness they are at the vet immediately if it's warranted. My frustrations come simply from reading posts like the one I mentioned where it's obviously an emergency and not only does the person not get their pet medical care, the OP got mad at me and tried to make me the bad guy because I told them that their beardie was far past the point where home remedies were going to do any good and they needed to get to a reptile vet asap. I had actually made my first comment politely and held my tongue, but after she went off on me and acted like I was crazy because "I should know that not everyone can take their pets to the vet", that's when I lost it. And poor Gorgamon was just the next poster I saw. Yes Gorgamon, your rely to me was "I'm taking her to the vet in a few weeks, but I'm busy and so are they". I'm sure you didn't mean it the way it sounded to me, it just came off the wrong way, as written conversations often do. I should have kept my cool but instead I lost it. And I apologize. Like I said, I've been keeping myself in check lately and walking away from any posts that really upset me, thankfully I haven't seen any since that last one I mentioned, but when I do I'm just going to think before I speak from now on.

I agree that it's better to try to keep new members posting for help rather than chasing them away with criticisms. That does no one any good at all. There is a point where no one here can do anymore to help and the animal needs professional, personal medical care, and yes, sometimes you'd be better off talking to a brick than some of the people asking for help. I love it when people ask for advice and multiple members politely tell them that their beardie needs to get to a vet ASAP because there's nothing that can be done without one, and the OP then completely flips out and acts like we're the bad guys. Those are the particular situations where I need to do a better job of keeping it together and staying calm, and choosing my words carefully. We all need to take a deep breath and think before we speak in those situations. It's understandable why we get upset, because as already mentioned the only living creature that suffers in these situations is the poor pet that relies upon its owner for help.

 

[kingofnobbys]

Thanks everyone, I'm doing well and am basically in the recovery process, I had a total abdominal hysterectomy and some radiation and the lesions are in remission, I'm now dealing with some opportunistic infections, my immune system is worn down and common bacteria and fungi are causing me grief, basically I'm just really tired and trying to bounce back. I'm very lucky though. Gorgamon I am so sorry about your son, what a horrible thing for anyone to go through, I can't even imagine. What I've gone through was bad enough, anyone able to make it through what your son is going through is an incredibly strong person. I'll be thinking about him and sending positive energy your way.

<<< that's no fun , my elder sister had something similar , a total hysterectomy and some radiation and has been in remission now for about 40 years.
My sister in law has a hysterectomy two weeks ago and she's still having problems and the gynecologist cant figure out why....

<<< I too have my health issues that have effected my mobility ( 3 weeks enforced bed rest in hospital and a dose of Pheumonia A while there really knocked me about ) , been reliant on a walker since I came home in November and housebound - can't safely get down my front or back steps right now ... it not fun getting old , things ware out and catchup on you.


I didn't mention I was sick because it's a source of frustration for me, like that's the reason I lost my cool, but rather was just trying to say that due to my health issues I haven't been able to work in over a year, yet I still make sure that all of my pets get regular medical care, I'm talking about regular wellness exams. If there's an emergency or an illness they are at the vet immediately if it's warranted. My frustrations come simply from reading posts like the one I mentioned where it's obviously an emergency and not only does the person not get their pet medical care, the OP got mad at me and tried to make me the bad guy because I told them that their beardie was far past the point where home remedies were going to do any good and they needed to get to a reptile vet asap. I had actually made my first comment politely and held my tongue, but after she went off on me and acted like I was crazy because "I should know that not everyone can take their pets to the vet", that's when I lost it. And poor Gorgamon was just the next poster I saw. Yes Gorgamon, your rely to me was "I'm taking her to the vet in a few weeks, but I'm busy and so are they". I'm sure you didn't mean it the way it sounded to me, it just came off the wrong way, as written conversations often do. I should have kept my cool but instead I lost it. And I apologize. Like I said, I've been keeping myself in check lately and walking away from any posts that really upset me, thankfully I haven't seen any since that last one I mentioned, but when I do I'm just going to think before I speak from now on.

I agree that it's better to try to keep new members posting for help rather than chasing them away with criticisms. That does no one any good at all. There is a point where no one here can do anymore to help and the animal needs professional, personal medical care, and yes, sometimes you'd be better off talking to a brick than some of the people asking for help. I love it when people ask for advice and multiple members politely tell them that their beardie needs to get to a vet ASAP because there's nothing that can be done without one, and the OP then completely flips out and acts like we're the bad guys. Those are the particular situations where I need to do a better job of keeping it together and staying calm, and choosing my words carefully. We all need to take a deep breath and think before we speak in those situations. It's understandable why we get upset, because as already mentioned the only living creature that suffers in these situations is the poor pet that relies upon its owner for help.

 

[BlueDragon09]

Im 30 years old..Im young but also my body isnt too kind.
I have digestive issues pretty much like my dragon. I've had skin cancer 2 times..those aren't too bad compared to others. Stomach infection 4 times. I can deal with other health issues like the aftermath of an ovary cyst 11 years ago. It pretty much messed up any chances of kids. A whole lot going inside besides that. Those are some of my issues. I have a lot more but I won't list any more of them. I understand the frustration. Totally do.

Gormagon, sorry about brain cancer for your son. I had friends with it and well one survived. I'll keep your son in my thoughts. Sending lots of luck your way.

 

[Gormagon]

Thank you all for the well wishes and, thoughts for my son. It is hard, but I don't let it dictate how I treat others. I try to be kind to others as a rule. Such is my life, always a smile for a stranger.
I told this to let everyone know that we all have issues of our own and, no one knows what is actually going on in each others lives.

 

[LinusTheOrange]

I think that it's easy to misread tone on the internet, I have a friend whose facebook posts make her sound like a total loon, but it's just her odd sense of humor. What a poster may think is just being to the point can come off as angry, especially to a person who is stressed and scared for their pet.

I used to work at a no-kill shelter. A rewarding, but draining job. The people who came in to try to surrender their pets could be infuriating. We even had people basically go to the end of our shelters driveway and throw their pet out of the car when we couldn't take their pet because we were full.

To passionate animal lovers, sometimes we get compassion fatigue because we hear the same things over and over, and our hearts go out to the animals, especially when we can't do anything about it. That frustration has to go somewhere; and more often than not it is at the caretakers responsible for the situation the pet is in.

Sometimes you just have to hit pause for a minute. You have the point that needs to be made, but taking a min to think, how can I word what needs to be said, in a way that is constructive, and builds a bridge instead of a wall.

Once the encounter is over, wheather it be face to face, or in this case, keyboard to screen, then scream, cry or rant. Ive done all of those, and more when I worked at the shelter.

 

[Gormagon]

Yes, I agree but if people kept going in the direction they were going and, making new members afraid to post, this forum would cease to function. Once you get that stigma attached to a site your reputation goes downhill fast. I have seen it happen on other sites and it ain't pretty.
So we all have to keep our emotions in check and try to help those little buggers survive as best we can no matter the circumstances.

 

[kingofnobbys]

With some people , if you have offered advise , sometimes 3 or 4 times to the same person and they still do nothing or refuse to listen or get upset (because they are being defensive or just do not have the capacity "to get it" or take the advise on board) , that's the time to walk away from the thread / that person as you are wasting your time and they are not worth the agro.

I've done this with a few people here , I wont bother trying to help or advise them in future , too many others who are more deserving of help , this unfortunately means their pet/s remain in a bad situation or continue to suffer - there is nothing I can do about that ....

There are some who REALLY should never be allowed to keep pets , let alone pet bearded dragons.