My little Monster passed away... I miss her so much

[AHBD]

Thankfully you now know what happened, and that it was quick. And you can see from there pics that she was well -taken care of as was already mentioned. Even relaxed + chillin' out on the deck ! I know you'll miss her, so Lotus will be your comfort buddy for a while now....maybe there's room for a new rescue if/when the right time comes along.

 

[XtinaBeardieMom]

Thankfully you now know what happened, and that it was quick. And you can see from there pics that she was well -taken care of as was already mentioned. Even relaxed + chillin' out on the deck ! I know you'll miss her, so Lotus will be your comfort buddy for a while now....maybe there's room for a new rescue if/when the right time comes along.

Thank you so much for your kind words, they really do help. I'm still kind of in shock, no matter how much I've cried it still doesn't feel real... like a terrible dream. Lotus has been wonderful and sweet and cuddly, almost like she knows I'm at my wit's end. She was such a good girl at the vet yesterday. She usually stresses out majorly so I was surprised to hear that she did fine through the bloodwork and X-rays. She hasn't even pooped on me recently lol.

As for another dragon, I feel kind of guilty for already thinking about it - I'm going to wait a good while before that happens though, to make sure I'm ready. I don't want another dragon to distract me from Monster's memory & I know I have to face the pain. Maybe I'll feel a bit better once I have her ashes back at home with me. It's just that I've succeeded at everything in my life that I've ever put a ton of effort into, until now. I know it wasn't my fault, but I'm a "control freak" and having something like this happen beyond my control just leaves me feeling so... broken.

On the bright side, I took myself out to lunch today so that's what I'm doing now - enjoying some seriously spicy Thai food (ouch, and yum!) with fried egg rolls and a few beers, just by myself looking over pictures of Monster and enjoying the "me time". I also took yesterday off of work (I work 60+ hours per week) and I'm proud of myself for indulging a little, as I've always been bad at that & very hard on myself. Monster taught me to take what you want out of life, just like she did. If she wanted to go outside then she would scratch at the front door like a dog haha! She loved bath time and would even run into our bathroom when it wasn't bath time and try to climb up the side of the tub, of course she got a soak just as she wanted whenever she did that. She hardly ever ate unless it was a treat like berries or babyfood, unless I hand fed her. All in all, this dragon knew she could get anything she wanted out of us and took full advantage of it... and I admire her for that.

Rest in peace little Monster, my sweet baby girl

 

[kcarello]

That is wonderful that you had some me time today!! You need some healing time!! I love the stories about Monster!!! She was SO spoiled wasn't she?? LOL!!! I hope you are feeling better! Take care of yourself,,,the Thai food and beer sounds yummy!!! Hugs,
Kelly

 

[XtinaBeardieMom]

That is wonderful that you had some me time today!! You need some healing time!! I love the stories about Monster!!! She was SO spoiled wasn't she?? LOL!!! I hope you are feeling better! Take care of yourself,,,the Thai food and beer sounds yummy!!! Hugs,
Kelly

Thanks Kelly - I hope you and Puff are doing well. I could really use another round of Thai food and beer today. Monster has been gone for just over a week now, and I still haven't been able to clean out her food bowl. It took everything I had in me to go pick up her ashes from the vet yesterday. I ordered a custom made engraved box for her (I'll post pictures when I go pick it up from the post office later), and I plan on keeping her on the window sill she used to love to hang out on so much. She was my sweet baby girl and YES, she was soooo spoiled!

I really find it a struggle now to talk about my own dragon(s) here on the forum, well I guess talking about them in general. I have one dragon that lives in present tense, and one who lived in past tense so I never know how to word things anymore. We always used to just call them "the girls" when we talked about them. "I got some more food for the girls. We need another light for the girls. The girls are getting soaked today, etc..." It's been really hard to transition to just talking about Lotus as an individual in a general sense. I never know when to use singular or plural form, past or present tense. It's so difficult to switch back and forth, and I feel a stabbing pain every time I have to figure that out.

Anyway, sorry to be such a downer. To all of you out there who are reading this... just please hold your babies close and give them some extra snuggles for me. Love them with everything you are and give them your all, because you never know when they'll be gone. Make them lucky to have you, just as lucky as you are to have them - so you'll NEVER look back with any regrets. I know I don't regret a single moment of my time, a single penny of my money, or a single exertion of any effort that I ever invested in my little Monster. I gave her everything she could've possibly wanted or needed, and she deserved it just like all of your dragons do too. I only wish I could've spoiled her for longer; take the opportunity while you still can.

Rest in peace little Monster, my sweet baby girl. There will NEVER be a "past tense" when it comes to how much I love you.

 

[Rawbbeh]

I got a new little baby girl yesterday. A bright BRIGHT red Fire Tiger girl. 16 days old.

I will give her such an abundance of love in Monster's name that she will beg to have a little breathing space from time to time!

You have my word!

(You can see pictures of "Cake" my new and only BD in the introductions section...today at lunch I will eat a piece of Red Velvet Cake Brownie when I have lunch at the mall for Cake and Monster....CakeMonster.

 

[XtinaBeardieMom]

I got a new little baby girl yesterday. A bright BRIGHT red Fire Tiger girl. 16 days old.

I will give her such an abundance of love in Monster's name that she will beg to have a little breathing space from time to time!

You have my word!

(You can see pictures of "Cake" my new and only BD in the introductions section...today at lunch I will eat a piece of Red Velvet Cake Brownie when I have lunch at the mall for Cake and Monster....CakeMonster.

Awww, that's so sweet of you! Thank you... I'd love to see pictures if you have a thread going for her. Guess she's a cupcake until she grows up hehe

 

[drstevo]

I just feel obliged to comment. You are a great advocate of bearded dragons and obviously care for your dragons so much! Sometimes deaths go unexplained, life is precious and we must not dwell on the sad times. Just close your eyes and remember a good time you had with your dragon! Memories like that last forever!

Kind regards,
Stevo.

 

[PonchoandDaddy]

I'm so sorry I'm a late at posting. I just read this thread and I am crying like a baby. Actually sobbing and making awful unhuman noises...aka ugly crying. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss and I know no words will ever take your pain away.

Every time a tear rolls off my cheek it lands on Poncho's nose and he looks up at me like he understands. Just remember...Monster is ALWAYS with you. You may not be able to see her, but you can feel her.

I'm very glad you got her cremated. I had a weenie dog for 14 years that is...was my entire world. I had him cremated and I sleep with his ashes every night. Bubby's ashes on one side...Poncho on the other.

If you ever need to talk please let me know. I think I've pulled myself together now...*sniffles*

Hugs and arm waves from me and Poncho