GuyWithSomeBeardies
New member
The short: I feel like the worst bearded dragon and pet dad ever and heartbroken, I think I need to give my dragons away which makes me feel guilty, responsible, afraid and not sure what to do.
Please be kind as I admit, I am trying not to have a panic attack as I even write this. But I promised myself I would be honest, so please just be kind in your advice.
I got two bearded dragons two years ago. It was 28 years since I had a pet because when I was 8 I got some pet newts that starved because no one including many pet stores could figure out why they weren't eating till they started eating themselves, then one ate the other, then we found out it liked blood worms but drowned a month later after I had saved up enough to buy an aquarium cliff and filled the tank not realizing it didn't have the strength built up to swim like that yet.
So then two years ago, thinking I had finally met the one I was going to marry and she loved pets, we went to a reptile expo. She loved the bearded dragons and I thought it would be a great way to start getting back to having a pet. I asked what I thought was all the right questions saying, "We are thinking of buying TWO bearded dragons..." It wasn't until we bought two and went to the vet station that we found out two bearded dragons should not live together. I was bummed but couldn't just return them.
At the time I had a great job and bought them both 40 gallon tanks and fully outfitted the tanks reading up on every article I could about bearded dragons, scouring this forum, looking over their diet etc.
The first year was working through anxiety at any issue they had, I was the worst hovering dad which of course only stressed them out more and so I got some help and relaxed some. They chilled out more the more I chilled out and then finally I bonded with them both individually. They "respond" to my voice.
Then COVID happened. The girlfriend broke up with me and no more job.
I have been trying to save up money and trying to bring them out of their cage daily as I know the 40 gallon tank is too small.
I met someone who likes reptiles but she hasn't really bonded with them even though now we are moved in together, she didn't buy them anyways I did. She has been kind enough to help at times but she only helps if I ask. She has enough things going on right now so its a tall ask anyways.
I am trying to be honest with myself and I just don't think they are as happy as they could be. I take one of them out about 5 days a week for 2-3 hours a day, the other has been hibernating since we moved. They now thankfully can see out the window from their cages so they watch a lot of things. But this is no way to live. I keep them separate. They are healthy and healthy weight. They seem generally curious and attentive. But I know they want to be curious running around the house or outside way more than what I can give them not to mention their prison is smaller than it should be. I am getting a job finally and will be gone most the day and I know my new girlfriend won't be taking them out. It will be a few more months till I can get bigger terrariums.
They deserve more than I can give them. I see bearded dragons on craigslist being given away and it breaks my heart, I want to cry both for the beardies and for being a sh-- dad as some of them look so depressed in cages with barely anything and I am now one of those people. I never thought I would be. I feel it is all my fault and it is. I am also scared cause I don't want anyone to do anything bad to them, I don't want anyone to treat them worse or just keep them in the same cages forever treating them no better than I have. Not to mention the stress they are going to have all over because of a new environment, new people.
I am really scared.
I figured this forum was the only place I could be honest because I asked some people on Reddit and I don't think a lot of people get it because they don't love bearded dragons like I know a lot of people on here do. They were like "just give them away." And Idk, I am at the same time terrified they'll even be worse off.
I feel like a failure and not sure what to do at all.
Has anyone ever been there? What did you do? How did you deal with it? Are there things I am missing here? I'm responsible for them and said I would be so do I suck it up and figure out a different way and plan? Any advice is welcomed.
Please be kind as I admit, I am trying not to have a panic attack as I even write this. But I promised myself I would be honest, so please just be kind in your advice.
I got two bearded dragons two years ago. It was 28 years since I had a pet because when I was 8 I got some pet newts that starved because no one including many pet stores could figure out why they weren't eating till they started eating themselves, then one ate the other, then we found out it liked blood worms but drowned a month later after I had saved up enough to buy an aquarium cliff and filled the tank not realizing it didn't have the strength built up to swim like that yet.
So then two years ago, thinking I had finally met the one I was going to marry and she loved pets, we went to a reptile expo. She loved the bearded dragons and I thought it would be a great way to start getting back to having a pet. I asked what I thought was all the right questions saying, "We are thinking of buying TWO bearded dragons..." It wasn't until we bought two and went to the vet station that we found out two bearded dragons should not live together. I was bummed but couldn't just return them.
At the time I had a great job and bought them both 40 gallon tanks and fully outfitted the tanks reading up on every article I could about bearded dragons, scouring this forum, looking over their diet etc.
The first year was working through anxiety at any issue they had, I was the worst hovering dad which of course only stressed them out more and so I got some help and relaxed some. They chilled out more the more I chilled out and then finally I bonded with them both individually. They "respond" to my voice.
Then COVID happened. The girlfriend broke up with me and no more job.
I have been trying to save up money and trying to bring them out of their cage daily as I know the 40 gallon tank is too small.
I met someone who likes reptiles but she hasn't really bonded with them even though now we are moved in together, she didn't buy them anyways I did. She has been kind enough to help at times but she only helps if I ask. She has enough things going on right now so its a tall ask anyways.
I am trying to be honest with myself and I just don't think they are as happy as they could be. I take one of them out about 5 days a week for 2-3 hours a day, the other has been hibernating since we moved. They now thankfully can see out the window from their cages so they watch a lot of things. But this is no way to live. I keep them separate. They are healthy and healthy weight. They seem generally curious and attentive. But I know they want to be curious running around the house or outside way more than what I can give them not to mention their prison is smaller than it should be. I am getting a job finally and will be gone most the day and I know my new girlfriend won't be taking them out. It will be a few more months till I can get bigger terrariums.
They deserve more than I can give them. I see bearded dragons on craigslist being given away and it breaks my heart, I want to cry both for the beardies and for being a sh-- dad as some of them look so depressed in cages with barely anything and I am now one of those people. I never thought I would be. I feel it is all my fault and it is. I am also scared cause I don't want anyone to do anything bad to them, I don't want anyone to treat them worse or just keep them in the same cages forever treating them no better than I have. Not to mention the stress they are going to have all over because of a new environment, new people.
I am really scared.
I figured this forum was the only place I could be honest because I asked some people on Reddit and I don't think a lot of people get it because they don't love bearded dragons like I know a lot of people on here do. They were like "just give them away." And Idk, I am at the same time terrified they'll even be worse off.
I feel like a failure and not sure what to do at all.
Has anyone ever been there? What did you do? How did you deal with it? Are there things I am missing here? I'm responsible for them and said I would be so do I suck it up and figure out a different way and plan? Any advice is welcomed.
