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Dear Tatsu, I also think we need a support group for submissive males. Just because I don't headbob, and I like classical music and frilly pillows, my brothers and my slave/owner think I'm...you know... "funny." :cry: My slave/owner even refers to me as her gay best friend. We sensitive...

Comrade Tatsu, I thought I might just give you an update on how things are going in our area. The slave finally got of her lazy butt and got me a bigger tank. The only downside is now I'm closer to that sissy, Porky :evil: However, Porky is not without his own merits. For example, he has...

A TRAITOR?! :evil: I'll bet it was that fat-fatty-fat Porky! He's always tilting his head and smiling and looking cute, just for extra snuggles. He's such a suckup. I'll bet he blabbed it all to that nutso human of ours. I mean, whenever the human holds him, he hugs her neck and cuddles and...

:evil: Does anybody understand the torture my "brothers" and I are about to be put through, modeling the TPL?!?! WE NEED HELP!!! She must be stopped!! -Thor

Dear Tatsu, My "brothers" and I have a very real concern popping up. As that silly human begins work on her prototype blankie, I fear that she will use us as models. Everyday she stops by my tank to give me a look that says "You'll look great modeling this blankie..." My "brothers" and I are...

Yes, quite good work Digger You may ship my case of Gourmet Human Fingers directly, to Thor, The Lizard Room, Tank #1. Yes, quite well done.... *dabs corner of mouth with napkin* I apologise, I have just returned from the most scrumptious luncheon of pear and chicken baby food and.... human...

Digger, I think we also need to add human fingers to the provisions list. I love the taste of human flesh :twisted: Okay, so maybe that was a bit creepy. But it's the human's fault for not paying attention when hand-feeding me! WARNING: Do not put fingers near my mouth. Anyway, since we're...

Fellow Beardies, since I am the Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Technique, I thought I would write a short guide on my technique, so other beardies can master it as well. Step 1: Gain weight. Eat everything and get supa fat. Not super fat, SUPA FAT. My name ain't Porky P. Fatso for...

Dear Tatsu, Thor, Dark Side of the Force Enforcer reporting. First of all, Lazarus is not scary. He's just a big singular-armed teddy bear with scales. Ow, my tail. [*Lazarus* *sticking toothpicks into a Thor-shaped voodoo doll made out of paper towels and poo*] Anyway, I just wanted to...

Comrade Tatsu, I'm writing this with great concern. I'm afraid that the humans don't fear us enough yet. Today I went "poopies" in my "wittle dwagon lair" and I made a "messy" and got some of it on my "wittle self." By then my beard and tail were totally black, and I was dark grey half way down...

Dear Tatsu, I was just brain-storming, in my cute little pea-sized brain, about tactics for us to use in the war against humans/terrorism. So, here's a list I made up: Harder essays for college freshmen. Surprise attacks, such as latching ourselves onto the humans faces. Eating blankets. We...

Oh, I'm not sure if that would work. Apparently my "grandmother" told my human that all the alligators went up to north carolina for better quality of life... -Thor

Yaaaaay for Wdiget :D I'm curious as to why his eye would'nt have developed. Anyway, I'm glad he was able to eat on his own. My first concern when seeing that he only had one eye was, how is he going to be able to hunt?? Well definatley keep us updated on him! Also, at the risk of sounding...

Tatsu, I just wanted to share with our fellow beardies a great technique that I am currently working on, that will drive our human crazy - scratching at the glass. I have spent this morning scratching my nails against the glass doors of my cage, until my human came in and let me out, just so...

*SIGH* Okay...... :cry: -Porky, Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Technique *snickers* Little do they know, I have a stash of raspberries behind my rock! Bwahahahaha!!!! Oh wait, did I just type that out loud? Darnit, where's that backspace button.... whoopsies, I just clicked...

"Hi, this is Porky... So, I was thinking... our humans do alot of us. Like right now I'm shedding my snout, and my mommy gave me a bath and then she scratched my nosey for me... And she's warm and snuggly. So, I was thinking perhaps we should just call off the world domination thing...." *Lazy...

Tatsu, since we're all talking about titles and my two brothers have them, could I be the "official-head-getting-stuck-in-places-all-the-time.....guy"??? See, my ingenious ability to get my head stuck in places can really be useful. I can block any sort of gaps, during warfare with the humans...

Tatsu, I dare say your owner is probably more cruel than mine. Except for one thing. She thought I was spending too much time in my hidey hole, and so she stuffed it up with my "Mr. Alligator." :evil: At least you're allowed to hide. Now I have to sleep ON TOP of my log!!! -Thor

Dear Fellow Comrades, I have come from a recent battle with my "human," and lived to tell about it It started out normally enough. I was in my poor excuse for a "deluxe vision cage," poofing out my big manly beard, and flattening my torso. The human countered with "Aw, is my wittle baby...

Comrade Tatsu! I have recently discovered a way for us beardies to psychologically destroy our humans one by one: Acting lethargic and bummed out, even though we're not sick and we have immune systems of STEEL!!! I have spent the last week on the cool side of my tank. As soon as that silly...