Lost my youngest beardie yesterday..

I haven't posted here in a long time, but my heart has been shattered.

I lost my youngest beardie, Sobek (Sobie) yesterday, on my birthday no less. He was only around 4 years old. On Sunday he seemed completely normal, eating and alert just as always, had pooped recently and seemed like his usual self. When we got home yesterday he was unresponsive and limb. We tried chest compressions and rushed him to the emergency vet, who confirmed via. ultrasound that he had passed.

I am broken and confused. I would've been less surprised if it had been my older beardie, who had an RI last year and who hasn't had the greatest appetite lately. But I thought Sobek was doing better. He was eating very regularly, very excitedly, and we were looking forward to building him his custom enclosure. I can only imagine something that we couldn't have anticipated happened to end his life, but I can't stop feeling guilty. Why didn't I check on him yesterday morning better? What if I had been able to tell something wasn't right with him? What if...

The suddenness of it all has left me feeling so empty and lost. We buried him last night after spending some time with him, but it all felt so wrong. Like he might just wake up and be fine, like we were giving up on him, it felt so wrong.

He was a very unique, special boy. He never ate as well as our older boy, he was always grouchier and pickier and overall more troublesome. We always joked that he was the least favorite, but we loved him just as dearly as our first. He was an awkward looking juvenile in the beginning, he had a giant saggy beard that it took him years to grow in to. Lately he was looking plump and healthy, though was stressed from moving in to a new house. I look back and wonder if his black beard was less from stress of a new home and more from illness that had been trying to show itself - and I feel awful all over again. I was trying not to handle him as much as he settled in to his new surroundings. Why didn't I see sooner?

I will miss him forever, and can only try to focus even more on my current boy, and treasure the time we have left with him.

The day we got him, July 2014:



Some growing:



Cuddling with dad:





Creamy white belly that I will miss so much:


What he looked like more recently, post bath:

I'm so sorry for your loss, try not to blame yourself. He looked very happy and healthy. This has happened many other times on this forum where they just drop dead with no signs or warnings. One person got a necropsy done and found that something just burst inside of him and caused immediate death (I can't remember the specifics). Don't be hard on yourself, cherish all of the fond memories you two got to spend together and don't forget you got another beardy that needs your loving . Yours looked exactly like my Squirt who is 5 months old.

Hello,

I am so sorry to hear you lost Sobek so suddenly. It is devastating & heart breaking I know
& feels like your soul has been ripped out.
Try not to blame yourself & go over all of the what if's, it will really destroy you. It's not your
fault, so many things can happen that are out of our control. He was well loved, happy & was
not alone. He was definitely a great looking dragon!
So sorry for your loss.

Tracie