Tatsu: Can I join your army?

Dear Tatsu,

After the abuse I have suffered over the last few months, I would like to enlist in your army to help with world domination.

I have always been a very mellow dragon--I've never bitten anyone, I eat my salad, I sometimes poop in the right place, and I rarely complain about anything. I've only black-bearded once because I got scared. I always flash a cute smile and cuddle with my people.

To thank me for my good behavior, my people have resorted to torture--for months!

In September, I decided that it was time to brumate so I casually started to hide. All a dragon wants is a little sleep, you know? Would they let me? No! My people took me out of my cave and kept forcing me into the heat. I should have started biting then, but I was just too sleepy. Besides, I figured I could sneak into the cave when they weren't looking. To add insult to injury, they took away my cave so I couldn't do that either. Then, on top of everything else, they made me drink some yucky medicine because I supposedly had pinworms. Once I got better, they forced me to take more medicine because I supposedly had coccidia. How much torture is one dragon expected to take? I just wanted to sleep.

Well, after months of forced sleep-deprivation and medicine, they finally let me sleep. It was too late at that point. My rage started to build, and I almost contacted you.

Now, the torture has continued even more! I have decided to wake up because I've been feeling a bit amorous, shall we say. You'd think the people would be happy to see me awake. I've been running around, trying to get their attention, but what do they do? They just stand there and watch me. They distract me when I'm working up a black beard and take away my thunder. To top it off, they won't bring me a date! I don't ask for much. Let me sleep when I'm tired, and bring me a woman when I'm awake!

I've had it! I'm fed up! This torture has to stop.

Are you accepting new recruits? We can't allow dragons to suffer in this way!

Sincerely,
Aztec

P.S. They've nicknamed me Mr. Spaz which is highly demeaning in my present state.

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Porky,

You're snarkiness surprises me. Well done, beardie!

Tatsu


Dear Rufus,

I have changed your title on the above roster. Reptile Morse Code. Pray tell, does that involve use of both claws and tail? Verrrrry interesting. I expect a full report in my mailbox by the end of this week. This would prove very useful for communication between troops.


Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. As for name suggestions, I would check Goddess references in different cultures. That should help quite a lot.


Dear Puff,

I have changed your name accordingly. Your breakthroughs in technology are quite intriguing. If you have anyone in mind to collect your stockpile, please do share. Otherwise, I will have to pick someone from th recruit list myself.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[sniches]

Dear Tatsu,

I am no longer looking for somebody to hold the stockpile because the silly humans bought me a new cage and put some kind of loose brown colored stuff called "sand". I have descovered I can dig into it and hide the weapons, however the stockpile will eventully get to large for me to hold it all, so sooner or later I will need somebody to take care of the extras. I am now working on a secret solution to elude the Humans into a false sense of security. I will not share what it is untill I am done, because it might not work correctly and I don't want out fellow Beardies to think they will defenitally have it untill I have perfected it.

Your Leading Techician/ Professor,
Red 5 A.K.A. Puff

 

[athenacp]

Dear Tatsu,

If no one else has room for sniches stockpile, I have plenty, the humans are in the process of going thru their apartment and have a ton of boxes; they have put aside several boxes for my use and some are packed with stuff I do not need; one is a dog food bowl that they bought for me thinking that I would eat from something like that! :evil: The ones marked for my use, there are 2 right now that are packed full, however I had take a stroll over and there is more than enough room to stuff it full, I am known for making use of all room given to me :twisted:

Also as I am very good at acquiring items, perhaps my code name could be "The Scrounger" Why this name? The humans watched a movie the other day called "The Great Escape" and the person called "Hendley" was known to find whatever was asked of him and since I have already acquired a horde of superworms, butterworms and have unlimited access to the human female's cash I can get whatever is needed.

Think about it, unlimited access to food & weapons :twisted:

Please let me know,
Digger

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Digger,

Your request has been noted on our roster. Indeed, you are a great scrounger. Perchance, do you think we could build anything useful out of some of those empty boxes lying around?

Butterworms ... Yummmm ... I am starving and my lights have not gone on yet in what they call me "beardie condo." I had some waxworms this weekend. They were quite tasty. Now I am even hungrier as I type this in the dark.

Sincerely,

Tatsu



Latest List of Recruits

1) Spike
2) Puff (Leading Technician/Professor)
3) Aztec
4) Fergison (Official Forager for the army)
5) Hugh
6) Twitch
7) Ming
8) Scamps
9) Felix (Beardie Stealth Jedi)
10) Oscar (Ground Rumbling Master)
11) Izzie (Our Playstation Expert)
12) Ziggy
13) Yoshi
14) Rand (The Dragon Reborn)
15) Sonic
16) Soxs
17) Sol
18) Indiana (Assistant Forager for the army)
19) Thor (The Dark Side of the Force Enforcer)
20) Digger (Our XBOX Expert) CODE NAME: The Scrounger
21) Drake
22) Blaise (Passed Over the Rainbow Bridge in Loyal Service)
23) Lazarus (Our Poet Laureate)
24) Goober
25) Fido
26) Houdini (Australian Lizard Correspondent)
27) Quetzalcoatl
28) Bill
29) Porky (The Official Master of Head Stuck In Places Dragon Techniques
30) Faeor
31) Gizmo
32) Griffin (Playstation Expert # 2)
33) Puppy (Our Secretary and Publisher of the monthly newsletter)
34) Komode
35) Goddard
36) Rufus (Morse Code Master

 

[Styg]

Tatsu,

I just wanted to share with our fellow beardies a great technique that I am currently working on, that will drive our human crazy - scratching at the glass.

I have spent this morning scratching my nails against the glass doors of my cage, until my human came in and let me out, just so she could have five minutes of silence. This gave me the opportunity to then start scratching her arms and hands.

Of course, this technique does'nt work if you don't have hands (*cough Porky and Lazy *cough*)

-Thor, Dark Side of the Force Enforcer

 

[Sekhautet]

Dear Thor,

I too have something new to share with everyone. The human slaves partner, his young, got an interesting gift from another human slave. It is called a walkie talkie. This one is especially nice because it is a walkti-talkie watch and the wristband velcro adjusts. I was thinking we could purchase similar equipment and strap them around our middles. They are light and easy to maneuver in the field in. This would greatly help with communication, if our telepathic or morse code is intercepted for some reason. We should be able to change radio frequencies as necessary to avoid detection, I would think.

They also come in a pretty blue boy color that compliments my yellow eyes, which I like. And I think I could design a snack pouch to hang off a tool belt of some kind on one of these things.

Just something for all of us to think about ...

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[athenacp]

Dear Tatsu,

Perhaps I can help with the walkie-talkie carrier idea. I have watched the human female do something that she calls "crochet" and have watched with amazement as, with just a needle with a little hook on it and something that she calls "yarn", she creates small and large items, she even made a blanket for me! She also works with thread and I have seen these creations on the coffee table.

I I will learn this craft. I have seen in her "craft bag" needles that are smaller than my toes!!!

I will inform you on my progress.

Digger

 

[Sekhautet]

Digger,

If you learn to crochet, perhaps we can find some strong material to make ropes out, which would greatly come in handy. And gags for our human slaves and restraints. Hmmm ....

Sincerely,

Tatsu

P.S. I would like a blanket, but don't tell anyone. It's not very macho of me. But I like my bath towels because they are so soft and plush. :wink:

 

[athenacp]

Your secret is safe with me

 

[Sekhautet]

My Dear Cohorts in World Domination,

Please refer to this poem as continue proof that our cause is worthy of our continued effort. It seems that Thor is proving himself to be very valuable indeed.

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Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[ziggy]

Tatsu,

I have learned that down here in Florida, there are these things called 'Alligators' I saw one on TV and they are HUGE! Like Giant beardies. Perhaps they could help us with our domination?

Ziggy

 

[Styg]

Tatsu,

I have learned that down here in Florida, there are these things called 'Alligators' I saw one on TV and they are HUGE! Like Giant beardies. Perhaps they could help us with our domination?

Ziggy

Oh, I'm not sure if that would work. Apparently my "grandmother" told my human that all the alligators went up to north carolina for better quality of life...

-Thor

 

[ziggy]

Oh, I'm not sure if that would work. Apparently my "grandmother" told my human that all the alligators went up to north carolina for better quality of life...

-Thor

Hmmm... Well what about the captive ones? I hear there are plenty of them in a place called "Gatorland". We could somehow break in and rescue them of their little ponds.

-Ziggy

 

[Sekhautet]

Oh, I'm not sure if that would work. Apparently my "grandmother" told my human that all the alligators went up to north carolina for better quality of life...

-Thor

Hmmm... Well what about the captive ones? I hear there are plenty of them in a place called "Gatorland". We could somehow break in and rescue them of their little ponds.

-Ziggy

As long as they understand that beardies "are friends, not food," I think this could work.

Sincerely,

Tatsu

 

[supergizmo!]

i have gathered the information of the power to transform into powerful creatures by watching my slave 'play' majoras mask
on a device called a gamecube. i have been trying to get into this land but
it is difficult to read a map while fighting cricket forces.TO TERMINA!
-gizmo