My Bearded Dragon Died

[michajloos]

Hi .I just register on forum to get some advise and critic.
Nearly 2.5 years ago i decide with my girlfriend to get a bearded dragon.I wasn't so sure at the begining but soon find out He became my best friend.He was about 6 months when we decide to take him from shop.
After few months i had many trouble and it may sound stupid or wierd my dragon seems to be the only thing who listen to me and was trying to comunicate with me however he could.When i handle him and there was something he don't like head bobing strite away so i always apologize him by softly rubbing his head and jew so then he softly closibg his eyes for a sec and start behive normal.When he had any problems or want to open a terrarium glass he scratch the glass untill i opened it.He even learn to coming back to his viv ,climbing over the big speaker and jumping in viv.He always find out how to get there when wanted to.He also falling asleep next to me ,so i was saying to him that he is my best friend and i never leave him it maybe just me but he seems to understand me and respond to however he can.
After a nearly a year a decide to get him a female,at the begining they was a bit fighting cos she was little bit bigger than him (he was very small for his age) but on the end they get on together very well they were looking like real couple spending over 1.5 year together.I find out there is something special in this dragon which i could see in any other dragon behivior.I was searching a lot on YT,forums and looking in shops and couldn't find anything like him.I know he trust me in everything i was doing.You may think im wierd but that was relatinship i had with him.
And now is the worst part of a story and my immature behavior.
Last sunday we expect some company i took both dragons out and God know what reason i found some clove oil i let them smell this thing it probably get something on his mouth as well.There was nothing unusual i put him back to viv.After company arrived i had few drinks and saw there something wrong with him he start being limp and his beard went all black .Now i know should take him strite to the vet but never thought it could end up that bad,but there is no explanation for the thing i done.
My girlfriend react first she put him in water in hope that thing what cause his bad feeling get off him.We called Vet that what they advise cos it was sunday night and didn't know many around my area.Now i know he probably was in agony for about 16hours.We thought he will make it to the morning and at 8am monday we could take him to the vet.I spend with him whole night make sure his in water and its warm.He was looking like he cant take breath proply.But at 6 am he stop moving completly.I can't forget how he open his eyes on the end and look at me for sec and close his eyes forver((((.Im so stupid and i never forgive myself for being selfish ,horrible person to my best friend dragon.I don't know what to do now it's been 4th day and keep him in box next to me.I cried like a little baby for last days .He was such a good friend i can't imagine i lost him only because of me.
My girlfriend get a friend dragon to female thats left but i don't feel i can take no more ,i think its unfair for him.I dont know im lost in space now.I get good lesson but that shouldn't be in cost of innocent pet,who never done anything to anyone.
I don't know what i should do now, he deserved to live him alone and bury him.But he had just me.probably being selfish now to him next to all the time in that box.I've got work now and leaving home for 2 weeks .I just keep thinking what i've done to him and i never see him alive.:-(((((((((((((

 

[LaDragonEcho]

I feel so sorry for you! i blamed myself for my dogs death because i gave him a pizza crust and he died like 30 mins later from a seizure or stoke...i watched him dye and i was with him when he took his final breath..we kept him out in a box for 2 days because it had been raining and we had to wait to bury him..we looked at him right before we buried him and i'll never forget how solid black his eyes were..and how stiff his body was..its burnt into my memory forever and i blame myself for killing the best dog in the whole world..i kinda know how you feel right now ..i kinda felt like i would be replacing him if i got another dog (i got a bulldog b4 his passing) but we did get a new boston terrier puppy (same breed as my dog that died) and he is my world and i really mean that because he really helps me get through the day and i know dogs and bearded dragons are sooooo far apart but the feelings of losing a close pet it is quite the same actually...just know that if u do get another one...you wont be disrespecting your passed dragon but the way to think of it is that you are helping his spirit live on with knowing you'll be alright someday.

 

[michajloos]

Thanks for reply.This situation very similar.Now i exactly now how its feels.Really sorry too. its a living being like everyone of us and got feelings like everyone .I know it was my fault and i never forgive myself for this he was such good pet he doesnt deserve that way of daying.I never repleced him inside me.My dragon was in agony for a long time i was with him all this time with hope he'll be alright to morning so i can take him to vet.Never forget how he looked at me for last time and fall asleep forever.Is so hard that i took his life for nothing.He was my best friend.
You saying exact thing what im thinking right now.I hope his spirit find a better living in any way possible i wish this all my heart but unfortunetly don't know whats happening after.Im so affreid of that he died in big pain.I just wanted to be with him forever.

 

[Fizzylady]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You obviously cared about him very much and I'm sure he had a good life with you.

 

[michajloos]

Is been nearly six days .Is so hard but have to respect his soul.If i had chance to change things i've done.I hope u meet me someday again.
He was so special friend.

 

[htidavid]

wait... you let your dragons smell/lick the clove oil? I'm not sure what the idea behind this was...

 

[LaDragonEcho]

I am glad i was of some help and i hope you find a new little beardie just a good as him because even though u blame yourself..you deserve to find a way to not feel so empty without him and it might take u some time to accept bringing in a new companion but as of right now try not blaming yourself so much. it sounds like you just made a mistake and before that you were an amazing beardie slave and im sure the life you gave him was spectacular so don't beat yourself up too much because there are some people out there that treat their beardies so horrible without the proper care and they get bone diseases and go through pain for years until it finally takes their life. you little guy loved you bunches i bet and i believe they have their own feelings as well..im sitting with my little guy right now and hes snuggled up in my heated blanket with me from after his bath and everytime i look at him and he opens his eyes at the same time, i feel like it's his way of communicating that he understands me. they are extraordinary pets and i hope you eventually get another one and give it a great life or even rescue one that has been mistreated and show it how it feels to be loved and cared for properly because you will create such a strong bond with it once it understands how you have made its life so much better <3

 

[michajloos]

I don't know how to give a tribiut to his body and soul.So bad i want to cross out path again but i want him to be free. is bad thing to say but i have to choose bury or cremation.What is good to make him feel free his soul?

 

[michajloos]

thank you.At the moment i cant even sit in the room where is his viv cos every time i was back i always was saying hallo to him see how he is doing.Now his not there no more.Is bad but still got his body.I have to choose quick now the way tribute his phiscal part.I dont know cos i want the best and hope to meet him someday.But i want best for him not myself.I really don't know why i did this so immature and stupid .Every time i think about it its just killing me that i hurt him so much.They so intelligent beings and getting very close with u if u treat him like same to yourself.You take care of your dragon they are amazing.I never thought can get that close to a pet.
Worst pain in that i saw him dying and how he is hurt because of me .My best little friend.I am so hoping he give me a chance to meet again.

 

[LaDragonEcho]

well i don't think it's bad that u still have him because i kept one of my guinea pigs in a box for like a week before i finally got the chance too bury her. (another animal i blamed myself for the death of because she died after she wouldn't eat the new food i changed them to) I honestly think that if you have the money to do so, get him cremated because then that way you will always have him with you and he wont just be rotting away in a box underground...im not saying that burying him is the wrong thing to do but getting an animal that you were very close to cremated is a special thing to do for them and i think thats what i'll do when my little guy passes away because then he'll be with me for eternity.

 

[michajloos]

I believe that spirit of life being is always hanging around somewhere .And one way or another find a different phisical body.In crematiing im worry about his spirit dont get a peace, to find another way.Hope this is not disrespectful to him by owning his old body by cremation.And in burying worry about rotting in that box in unatural place that bearded dragon lives.But this is more natural way to do it.And also keeps me thinking why i didn't spend this money to save him.maybe there was a chance.Very mixed feeling but every opinion counts for me thanks a lot.I see u had some sad moment with your loved animals too.i hope is special thing to do cos he was special but i dont want his spirit to been lost around cos get thru enough of pain.

 

[Spikey92]

I am very sorry for your loss I know how much it hurts when a friend, a companion dies. I am sorry.
But IF you ever get another dragon, please keep them seperated okay? I am not gonna say or explain in detail why since this thread is not about that topic ,but IF you ever think about getting a second beardie (maybe someday in the futue) please do some research here on the forum about housing more than one beardie together.

Once again, I am sorry for your loss!

 

[michajloos]

Thank you so much.
Nothing will ease this feelings.The worst pain is that he went thru agony and i was with him and could do anything.Now i don't know if i make it worst when trying to keep him alive.Its horrible that i lost him.
I'll be happy to take any advice about taking care of em.I decide to take care of any lizard that need special need or is unwanted and give best home and attention i can give.I'll be happy to give it to any pet but at the moment where i am living im not aloud to have any furr friends:-( i would do anything to get him back and give him care he deserved.
Now another problem is that my gd doesn't want dead body in the house and she rush me to bury him or cremate him.But is so hard to decide .

 

[Cherie]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Reading your post brought big tears for me. I blamed myself when Norbert died. It is a horrible, horrible feeling. I buried Norbert outside under a tree where we used to sit when it was a nice day. I cried and squalled like a baby. My husband made a heart shaped plaque that hangs from the tree. He knew how much I loved that boy. The pain will ease up with time. As for burial or cremation, it should be what ever you feel most comfortable with.

 

[LaDragonEcho]

I understand what you mean by his spirit needing to find its place and I have the same beliefs and my reaso why I lean towards cremation is because it sounds like you live in a place you are renting since you can't have furry pets... So if u eventually move.. He would stay there if u buried him and if u got him cremated you could bring his ashes with you.