You can't be serious...

Oliver: Tell me about this Santa Claws you Hoomans are always talking about.
Me: Santa Clause.
Oliver: ... ... That's what I said.
Me: He's a guy that once a year comes and gives presents to the humans. He flies around in a sleigh with Reindeer pulling it.
Oliver: He should have Dragons pulling it. They're much faster. Watch this. (Takes off running and jumps off the couch) See. Fast.
Me: Yep that was pretty fast.
Oliver: Do I get a present from this Santa Claws?
Me: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Oliver: Good. I want those green gooey bugs. Make him get me the green gooey bugs. (Runs across the room) See. Way faster than a Reindeer.
Me: Yep. Way faster.
Oliver: I also want a new basking spot. I don't like that wood thing. When I poo on it, it gets stuck and smells .
Me: Yes... Yes it does.
Oliver: And I want more bugs. Lots more bugs.
Me: Okay. I will let him know.
Oliver: (Runs up the side of the couch) You know him!?!?
Me: Know him... ... Um yeah. Me and him go way back. We both have Asthma.
Oliver: ... ... ...
Oliver: I wanna meet him. Take me to him now.
Me: ummm... ummm... ummm
Oliver: Are you okay? Did you go dumb?

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