Why I haven't been on the website anymore.

I unfortunately have very sad news.
If you didn't know, my beardie Swordtail was experiencing lack of appetite and respiratory infection-like symptoms about 2 months or so ago. I brought him to the vet and the vets thought it was a respiratory infection too and gave me medicine for it. He started to gain weight and was eating a tiny bit but the breathing problems weren't getting better. I bought him to the vet again and she got blood from him to do blood work and gave me some more medicine for him. It was a bit before the 3rd vet visit that he started to decline. He COMPLETELY stopped eating, lost a bunch of weight, and became lethargic. The vet was unable to get anything from the tests she did and told me that she would do some more testing. I would give him blended up worms and greens in a syringe and would soak him daily. He was getting slightly better but on June 11th, it all happened. I went to check on him and he was struggling to breathe. I called over my mom but it was too late and he died in her arms. It was absolutely devastating and I was heart-broken. I didn't even sleep that night. Every night after that happened, if I even sleep at all, I get horrible nightmares where that event plays over and over again. I can't even go into my room anymore since that's where his empty tank is, I have been sleeping on a couch in the spare room.

I see his face everywhere, no matter where I look. Like 70% of my thoughts have been replaced with "It's all your fault, you should've done bettter". I have been extremely depressed and lonely lately, it's awful.

And to top it all off, the vet got the results from the blood work back. Swordtail was most likely actually female and he(she) probably had cancer.
I just can't believe it.
I most likely won't be on this site anymore except to sometimes comment on posts.
I don't even know if I'll ever be able to get another beardie.

R.i.p Swordtail. You were only 2 weeks away from your 2nd hatchday

 

[xp29]

Omg I am truly sorry. I've lost 3 this year so I know exactly how hard it is. I'm going to miss all the pics and antics of Swordtail. R.I.P. buddy, you will be missed.
Don't stop being a part of the community. And maybe with a little time you'll find another beardie that's in need of a good home and love.

 

[NickAVD]

This buddy always made me smile when I looked at his photos. I swear, literally on Sunday I was reviewing your topic "HES ESCAPING!". And he lifted my spirits again.
Rest in peace, Swordtail!

 

[Chris.]

This is soo sad to hear but since it was cancer, there is literally nothing you could do and for sure nothing you did wrong.
This is not your fault, just another ones of lifes cruel turns!
Rest in peace Swordtail.

 

[ChileanTaco]

Rest in peace, little guy (or gal).

 

[AHBD]

I'm so sorry. Words can't help much when something like this hits so hard. Don't blame yourself one bit, you did the best you could. Sending my heartfelt sorrow and condolences to you and your family members.

 

[SkittlesK]

I'm sorry to hear.
I lost a bearded dragon to respiratory infection.
Rest in peace swordtail

 

[Cuttlefishh]

Oh no.. I'm so sorry for your loss of Swordtail. Cancer is becoming more common, especially in females.

You did your best and it's not your fault. Rest in peace sweet Swordtail.

 

[Xjrosie]

The unfortunate part about these guys - or any pets, for that matter - is that we almost always outlive them. And, we always fall in love with them. Nothing is ever going to replace Swordtail, but I have no doubt that you will eventually be able to share your love with another beardie. It might not be soon, but each day will get a little bit easier and then you'll have that thought of, "maybe..."

It obviously wasn't your fault Swordtail got sick, and you know that. It's just hard when you love them so much to not think you could possibly have changed the outcome.

I hope you find some peace soon, RIP Swordtail.

Maybe you could share some of your favorite pics?

 

[Rocky2022]

I only read 2 lines and had to stop..... I can tell it isn't going to end well by your title but know that I'm sorry. These are the hardest posts for me but I need and want to show support. We love beardies so much and know that when we care and love them so, we give them a life they never could've imagined. Thank you for raising and loving Swordtail.

 

[Amara + Beast.]

Lyrebird, I am not saying this to take away from your story but, my bearded dragon just died from cancer as well. We had just noticed that his tail had huge bumps on it so my mom and I scheduled a vet appointment and he died the day before the appointment. We buried him in our backyard and every day I go out to his grave and cry.

 

[IAmAMirage]

I am so so sorry for your loss. My beardie currently has a respitory infection and reading your post honestly scared me. RIP Swordtail

 

[Amara + Beast.]

I am so so sorry for your loss. My beardie currently has a respitory infection and reading your post honestly scared me. RIP Swordtail

Hi I started a conversation with you Lyrebird and Mirage.

 

[SunnyThunder]

Poor Swordtail. It was not your fault Lyrebird I’m so sorry.

 

[Elio]

I unfortunately have very sad news.
If you didn't know, my beardie Swordtail was experiencing lack of appetite and respiratory infection-like symptoms about 2 months or so ago. I brought him to the vet and the vets thought it was a respiratory infection too and gave me medicine for it. He started to gain weight and was eating a tiny bit but the breathing problems weren't getting better. I bought him to the vet again and she got blood from him to do blood work and gave me some more medicine for him. It was a bit before the 3rd vet visit that he started to decline. He COMPLETELY stopped eating, lost a bunch of weight, and became lethargic. The vet was unable to get anything from the tests she did and told me that she would do some more testing. I would give him blended up worms and greens in a syringe and would soak him daily. He was getting slightly better but on June 11th, it all happened. I went to check on him and he was struggling to breathe. I called over my mom but it was too late and he died in her arms. It was absolutely devastating and I was heart-broken. I didn't even sleep that night. Every night after that happened, if I even sleep at all, I get horrible nightmares where that event plays over and over again. I can't even go into my room anymore since that's where his empty tank is, I have been sleeping on a couch in the spare room.

I see his face everywhere, no matter where I look. Like 70% of my thoughts have been replaced with "It's all your fault, you should've done bettter". I have been extremely depressed and lonely lately, it's awful.

And to top it all off, the vet got the results from the blood work back. Swordtail was most likely actually female and he(she) probably had cancer.
I just can't believe it.
I most likely won't be on this site anymore except to sometimes comment on posts.
I don't even know if I'll ever be able to get another beardie.

R.i.p Swordtail. You were only 2 weeks away from your 2nd hatchday

Hey mate. Something similar happened with my first bearded dragon 3 years ago. But I had no vets that I could go to. I understand your guilt, but please know that you did everything that you could've done. The care you provided for your buddy wasn't a small thing. I'm sure Swordtail felt much better because you made sure that he's/she's clean and fed. I understand how awful it feels to see their tank empty and dark. Do know that your care for your pet was the best you could provide in that moment. Sometimes beardies just get sick. We don't have enough research on them to always help them. Do not blame yourself and cherish the nice moments you had with your buddy. I know this post is old but I hope you will feel better soon.