RIP Soul Beardie Leonard

Leonard peacefully went in his sleep 9/3/2023. 7 years never went so fast. He had fought so hard with me over two months of syringe feeding and hyper maintenance- I had the "oh my god something is not okay with my buddy" moment on July 4...I spent it laying with him. He battled so hard for the two months. I gave it my all to give him comfort and try and get nutrients and fought so hard to correct what was a losing battle with what was believed to be cancer. At the end of the day I realize he gave it HIS all even more so. He ended up refusing food entirely and at that point he had a few days of youthful vigor before an immediate harsh decline on Friday 9/1..his eyes completely sunk in...i held onto him telling him I know--that I loved him so much - I called my gf as it was Friday afternoon to come home immediately from work because I thought he was making his exit to say goodbye (I wfh and called off as soon as I saw him not doing good on my lunch) Even in his roughest state he only black bearded once. It's like he knew Gina was coming home and his eyes came back and he spent that night with us. I had very wishful thinking "maybe we got lucky we can still fight" I told him I'd make his smoothies and syringe feed him every day he's willing to be here. Saturday his eyes were closed the entire day but he was here. I told him how much he's meant to me... held him. He didn't open his eyes but he kept his head up the entire day like a champion.

I think in my heart Saturday night when I put him in his pack-and-play next to our bed that it felt like it was his time-- not consciously. My girlfriend and I both had a moment looking at him and just verbally noted that he looked really cozy.

I woke up to my alarm on Sunday morning and turned on his heat pad. I felt his hand and arm like I have done every night over the two months and was so thankful it wasn't stiff. My first bearded dragon Rocko passed at age 4 and I'm forever haunted by the rigor. I had checked Leonard's hand or leg any time I was awake in the night to check (probably annoyed him haha) I felt like he was going to battle longer -- I hit snooze for 45 minutes. Picked him up in his blanket and broke down in tears. I vomited..begged him not to go and tried to give him mouth to mouth.

All things I'm sure he would have wanted!

My heart is so broken but when I think about Leonard and the pattern followed to his exit...it was almost like he did it in a way to lessen the emotional blow. He made a gentle exit..he was a gentle bearded dragon and said everything with his eyes. He had given me two months in which I spent almost every moment I wasn't working with him... I would get off work,grab Leonard and we'd nap every day. Leonard would reach for me from the ground and run up to me. I took him outside for time in the grass (something I only did that once regretfully in 7 years-- out of irrational fear of him being carried away by a hawk or eating something poisonous... I'm told I'm a helicopter parent) -- I let him finally run under the couch which he did even when he had significant loss of coordination...multiple- times! This was something he wanted to do his entire life and oh my god he looked so happy every time. He gave me confidence that our bond was indeed special. I've never had a bond like it.

Leonard came into my life at a rough time in my life --- right at the moment when I had "I need to get it together" clarity. I had just quit smoking cigarettes, marijuana and drinking...this was after my first bearded dragon had passed and I blamed myself for being a loser. I quit all of that stuff and never looked back. Leonard was kind of a marker for me of self improvement... but also he was just my guy through all that comes with that.. through everything... the light at the end of any bad day..through a crazy pandemic which allowed me even more time him..allowed me to work from home with him! That was always the dream and a silver lining in such a stressful worldwide health crisis.

So many beautiful, funny, happy moments were a direct result of his antics and attitude.. he was incredibly sweet. Spent every night on me winding down watching shows. I can feel his beard plopped on my face.

You mean and meant so much to me and Gina buddy. I will look forward to seeing you again. I will keep you alive in my thoughts always. I love you!

Photos:

Leonard after traversing the under-couch realm:
PXL_20230813_000436289.PORTRAIT.jpg

Leonard on his outside adventure. (Wish I gave you so much more of these days.)
IMG_20230729_214100.jpg


Older...in his old home. Pretty sure he liked his fish tank way more than the zen habitat I got him in April...
PXL_20210530_234054592.PORTRAIT~2.jpg


This is how he would always predict the Edmonton Oilers losing! Use to beg him not to go into his block late in the 3rd period. I swear this was like 100% gty they're losing if Leonard goes into the block!

PXL_20220205_050207183.jpg

Skeptical of his second home... probably after seeing how frustrated I was building this thing. Just get ready for plastic shavings everywhere and required heavy use of a mallet...
PXL_20230604_023358123.jpg


My favorite picture:

PXL_20220421_002626963~2.jpg
 
Last edited:

xp29

BD.org Addict
Photo Comp Winner
Beardie name(s)
Zen , Ruby ,Snicker Doodles, Sweet Pea, Sinatra
I'm sorry for your loss, people that haven't had a beardie judt can't understand how much they mean to those of us that have. Your boy was clearly loved, and he knew it. R.I.P. Leonard 😔
 

leonardswish

Member
Original Poster
I'm sorry for your loss, people that haven't had a beardie judt can't understand how much they mean to those of us that have. Your boy was clearly loved, and he knew it. R.I.P. Leonard 😔

Thank you so much. I had a hard time writing it out... i felt bad for talking about the passing experience and sickness but in a lot of ways it sums how he was up. It was like he went in the most graceful way..not abruptly... yes it's wrecked me but I'm sitting here just thankful I got to spend that extra time with him and get some good memories.

Thank you.
 

xp29

BD.org Addict
Photo Comp Winner
Beardie name(s)
Zen , Ruby ,Snicker Doodles, Sweet Pea, Sinatra
Hopefully when your ready another beardie will come along and bring some of that happiness back into your life. I know it won't be your Leonard but maybe it will become your ... well your beardie that that one happens to be 🙂
 

beardie

BD.org Sicko
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Founder
Beardie name(s)
Cailyth, Pinky, & Brain
So sorry for your loss. I know it’s tough losing a beardie. I’ve lost my share of pets, and none were easy. My heart goes out to you. And hopefully, as xp29 said, you’ll find room in your heart for another beardie someday. 😢
 

Jjurovaty

Member
Photo Comp Winner
Sorry for thr loss of Leonard! Loving a beardie is something super special, having them love you back can't even be described! After losing my 12 year old, it took me a year to bring home a new baby. We're growing strong at 10 months now and living every moment. In time you realize that everything you went through and learned with Leonard will only help you be an EVEN better dragon parent in the future! My thoughts are with you, I know how hard it is. You did a great job giving him a great life and know that this community is here for you! 🩷
 

Hazel_Basil10

Sub-Adult Member
Beardie name(s)
Hazel my female two year old beardie
Leonard peacefully went in his sleep 9/3/2023. 7 years never went so fast. He had fought so hard with me over two months of syringe feeding and hyper maintenance- I had the "oh my god something is not okay with my buddy" moment on July 4...I spent it laying with him. He battled so hard for the two months. I gave it my all to give him comfort and try and get nutrients and fought so hard to correct what was a losing battle with what was believed to be cancer. At the end of the day I realize he gave it HIS all even more so. He ended up refusing food entirely and at that point he had a few days of youthful vigor before an immediate harsh decline on Friday 9/1..his eyes completely sunk in...i held onto him telling him I know--that I loved him so much - I called my gf as it was Friday afternoon to come home immediately from work because I thought he was making his exit to say goodbye (I wfh and called off as soon as I saw him not doing good on my lunch) Even in his roughest state he only black bearded once. It's like he knew Gina was coming home and his eyes came back and he spent that night with us. I had very wishful thinking "maybe we got lucky we can still fight" I told him I'd make his smoothies and syringe feed him every day he's willing to be here. Saturday his eyes were closed the entire day but he was here. I told him how much he's meant to me... held him. He didn't open his eyes but he kept his head up the entire day like a champion.

I think in my heart Saturday night when I put him in his pack-and-play next to our bed that it felt like it was his time-- not consciously. My girlfriend and I both had a moment looking at him and just verbally noted that he looked really cozy.

I woke up to my alarm on Sunday morning and turned on his heat pad. I felt his hand and arm like I have done every night over the two months and was so thankful it wasn't stiff. My first bearded dragon Rocko passed at age 4 and I'm forever haunted by the rigor. I had checked Leonard's hand or leg any time I was awake in the night to check (probably annoyed him haha) I felt like he was going to battle longer -- I hit snooze for 45 minutes. Picked him up in his blanket and broke down in tears. I vomited..begged him not to go and tried to give him mouth to mouth.

All things I'm sure he would have wanted!

My heart is so broken but when I think about Leonard and the pattern followed to his exit...it was almost like he did it in a way to lessen the emotional blow. He made a gentle exit..he was a gentle bearded dragon and said everything with his eyes. He had given me two months in which I spent almost every moment I wasn't working with him... I would get off work,grab Leonard and we'd nap every day. Leonard would reach for me from the ground and run up to me. I took him outside for time in the grass (something I only did that once regretfully in 7 years-- out of irrational fear of him being carried away by a hawk or eating something poisonous... I'm told I'm a helicopter parent) -- I let him finally run under the couch which he did even when he had significant loss of coordination...multiple- times! This was something he wanted to do his entire life and oh my god he looked so happy every time. He gave me confidence that our bond was indeed special. I've never had a bond like it.

Leonard came into my life at a rough time in my life --- right at the moment when I had "I need to get it together" clarity. I had just quit smoking cigarettes, marijuana and drinking...this was after my first bearded dragon had passed and I blamed myself for being a loser. I quit all of that stuff and never looked back. Leonard was kind of a marker for me of self improvement... but also he was just my guy through all that comes with that.. through everything... the light at the end of any bad day..through a crazy pandemic which allowed me even more time him..allowed me to work from home with him! That was always the dream and a silver lining in such a stressful worldwide health crisis.

So many beautiful, funny, happy moments were a direct result of his antics and attitude.. he was incredibly sweet. Spent every night on me winding down watching shows. I can feel his beard plopped on my face.

You mean and meant so much to me and Gina buddy. I will look forward to seeing you again. I will keep you alive in my thoughts always. I love you!

Photos:

Leonard after traversing the under-couch realm:
View attachment 84073
Leonard on his outside adventure. (Wish I gave you so much more of these days.)
View attachment 84074

Older...in his old home. Pretty sure he liked his fish tank way more than the zen habitat I got him in April... View attachment 84075

This is how he would always predict the Edmonton Oilers losing! Use to beg him not to go into his block late in the 3rd period. I swear this was like 100% gty they're losing if Leonard goes into the block!

View attachment 84076
Skeptical of his second home... probably after seeing how frustrated I was building this thing. Just get ready for plastic shavings everywhere and required heavy use of a mallet...
View attachment 84077

My favorite picture:

View attachment 84078
I remember I had a rescue named Warrior. When I got him his arms were twisted back and he had Parasites and he was only 3-4 months old. The doctors that he wouldn't make it but with a ton of love and attention he recovered and that was why I named him Warrior. His arms eventually twisted back and he grew up to be a healthy beardie. I lost him at a young age of 1. Right before he turned one I was so excited because every year we make a little hat and a special "cake meal" for my little Hazel and we do that as a tradition. Then on his well check his Parasites came back even worse then before and unfortunately took his life. It is very hard to lose a loved animal and he looks like he was a very pretty and sweet boy. I am so sorry for your loss 😔😔

May he rest in peace 🙏😔❤️
 

leonardswish

Member
Original Poster
Sorry for thr loss of Leonard! Loving a beardie is something super special, having them love you back can't even be described! After losing my 12 year old, it took me a year to bring home a new baby. We're growing strong at 10 months now and living every moment. In time you realize that everything you went through and learned with Leonard will only help you be an EVEN better dragon parent in the future! My thoughts are with you, I know how hard it is. You did a great job giving him a great life and know that this community is here for you! 🩷
Thank you so much. Yeah it is a pretty special feeling isn't it! I am going to give a dragon the best life I can while I'm on this earth. I have been learning a lot about some of the health issues we see with dragons. Part of me wants to give the "dime-a-dozen" pet store dragons the best home.... another wonders if they're predisposed to some of these diseases and going with a smaller reputable breeder would lead to a healthier dragon. It's hard to not blame myself though.. when my first dragon Rocko made it to 4-years old and Leonard was supposed to go the distance for average life expectancy and fell years short..I was on top of everything. In hindsight though..I never had the proper vegetable to bug/ worm ratio as he reached his adult dragon life. Something I'm not going to cave on in the future. They can guilt trip...these lizards!I suppose there's always improvements with diet and husbandry.


I really appreciate your words and encouragement. I'm sorry for your loss too --and am so happy you've grown to your new dragon.
 

leonardswish

Member
Original Poster
I remember I had a rescue named Warrior. When I got him his arms were twisted back and he had Parasites and he was only 3-4 months old. The doctors that he wouldn't make it but with a ton of love and attention he recovered and that was why I named him Warrior. His arms eventually twisted back and he grew up to be a healthy beardie. I lost him at a young age of 1. Right before he turned one I was so excited because every year we make a little hat and a special "cake meal" for my little Hazel and we do that as a tradition. Then on his well check his Parasites came back even worse then before and unfortunately took his life. It is very hard to lose a loved animal and he looks like he was a very pretty and sweet boy. I am so sorry for your loss 😔😔

May he rest in peace 🙏😔❤️
I'm so sorry to hear about Warrior.That breaks my heart but it sounds like you fought so hard for that dragon.

I know what you mean about the cake! We did one out of the flukers gel every year and the 25th of September we considered his bday. That's been really tough. Credit to my girlfriend Gina for making these..she makes good human cakes too haha I love that you do that too!!

This was last year's.
PXL_20220928_211458526.jpg
PXL_20220928_211637119.jpg
 

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